Dear Guy Wearing a Jejeje Cap Sitting on the Table in Front of Me,

Cool cap. No, seriously. I’ve always admired people who took risks for whatever they believe in, even if it means a little bit of their humanity dies every time they fight for their beliefs. And trust me, nothing has destroyed the dignity of more people than that Jejeje Cap. For those of you who haven’t been keeping track, a Jejeje Cap is like the Ashton Kutcher Trucker Cap, only worse:

Jejeje Cap

I might be missing something really important here, man, but last time I checked, caps were meant to be worn pretty snugly on the head. Because they’re supposed to protect us from sunlight and other elements of the weather. They’re not supposed to be adjusted two sizes too small for your head, and to be put on top of your head like something you need to balance the whole time.

Emo Trucker Cap

Seriously, fix your cap: if you ever find yourself in the middle of a strong breeze, you’re going to lose your stupid rainbow-colored cap. Speaking of those horrid colors, the rainbow colors are a bit too weird for my taste. It’s like something out of a bad skittles commercial placed on top of an ugly face.

I suspect that maybe my utter distaste for those fucking caps has something to do with age, but I can’t really complain, since my generation was the one that rocked those elephant pants. Just look at those elephant pants, they’re fucking horrible:

Elephant pants

Wait, wait. Wrong picture.

Elephant Pants

Anyway, despite my past fashion mistakes, I shall file the Jejeje Cap under things I shall never understand. And you, Guy Wearing a Jejeje Cap Sitting on the Table in Front of Me, shall be sitting under my scrutiny the whole time we are indoors, and I shall judge you. Seriously, who the fuck wears a cap indoors and at night?

I take back everything I said. Keep on wearing your cap, it’s more hilarious that way.

Laughing at you from the other table,

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