I tend to miss a lot of movies the first time they come out. I don’t know if it’s got something to do with laziness or the fact that I’m usually blissfully unaware of the world around me or I’d rather spend my day watching the latest Ashlyn Rae video (no, not really) but I tend to end up looking at my friends with a blank stare and going “Buh?” when they talk about the latest awesome movie.
This is why I’m making up for missing all those times by checking out some movies I’ve missed. Also, I’ve got a huge queue of unwatched movies sitting on my hard drive – I seriously need to free up disk space. I guess wasting my time writing reviews won’t hurt a bit since I’ve got nothing better to do.
Kick-Ass
High school kid gets bored with his life. Apparently jacking off to his middle-aged teacher’s bewbies isn’t a gratifying pastime anymore (I know it’s not – don’t ask) so he decides to do something more fulfilling. He dresses up in a diving suit and proceeds to be a superhero beating up criminals in the middle of the night- oh, wait, I mean he gets beaten up - and teams up with Nicolas Cage, and the most foul-mouthed 13-year old you’ll ever meet. They manage to take down the mafia.
I love the comics, and it’s no surprise that this movie is an instant favorite. It’s no classic, of course, but it’s a fun watch.
Nowhere Boy
After Kick-Ass gets bored with superheroics, he inexplicably turns up in Liverpool with a Liverpudlian accent and he’s… John Lennon. He starts to hang out with his estranged mother, and they have a creepy, almost Oedipal relationship.
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I’ve never been a huge fan of location sharing services. Yeah, I have a Foursquare account, but I checked in only once, and I was drunk. I quickly lost interest in updating the goddamn site, along with my will to live. I don’t know about you, but telling the world that you’re eating in this restaurant isn’t exactly my idea of fun.
Also, I’ve done my fair share of oversharing on Twitter already (“WHY DOES IT BURN WHEN I PEE DAMMIT”) and sharing the place where I commit yet another hilarious misdeed to yet another major internal organ isn’t going to make my followers any more uncomfortable than they are now.
Fig. 1 – Why Ade doesn’t have friends in Foursquare (and in real life)
However, this newfangled Facebook Places thing is pretty interesting, if you ask me. You see, Facebook Places lets you check in to different places, just like a rich DOM and a college student with no tuition money the many location sharing services available right now, but with a twist: in the spirit of privacy violation that Facebook has been committed to doing for the longest time, Facebook Places lets you tag your friends to various locations – and they can do the same to you.
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I didn’t even know that they were making a new Sherlock Holmes TV show until I saw some friends (namely, Liz and Carina) raving about Sherlock on Twitter. Being a huge fan of anything Sherlock Holmes, of course I had to give it a look.
What makes Sherlock interesting is that instead of the typical Victorian setting of almost every single fucking Sherlock Holmes adaptation since time immemorial, they take the titular character and his, erm, sidekick, Dr. John Watson, and put him in a modern setting. For the ones who are a bit too slow to understand that, I mean 2010.
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Hey guys, remember The Man Blog? I know it’s been down for some time already but guess what, they managed to get the site back online (well, the forums at least) albeit under a new domain name.
Awesome poster made by Larry, by the way.
To celebrate TMB’s glorious (low-key) comeback, Mike and I decided to stage another Banana Gangbang Rock Festival (pictures from the first BGRF here, by the way), where my bands and Mike’s band play on stage and we’d do embarrassing shit that nobody in their right mind is capable of doing.
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There comes a time where every man has to stop so he can contemplate about life in general. Of course, that’s a joke. No man ever stops to contemplate life, or if they ever attempt to do so, they usually end up opening up their computer, navigating to their secret porn folder of shame, then whacking off to some video of a German girl with hairy armpits getting banged to shit by five ugly assholes.
And that’s when the epiphany hits: us men touch our dicks day in and day out. Imagine all the dirt that ends up on our wieners. These things need special attention, and no I’m not talking about blowjobs. A special soap for them doohickeys between our legs, it’s what we need.
Fortunately, a couple of enterprising manufacturers have thought of that too, and have given us these pinnacles of civilization:
Freshman Masculine Wash
Freshman Masculine Wash seems to be on the brink of a multimedia advertising campaign to bring the benefits of washing your crotch with their specially formulated wash to the public. In fact, they’ve assembled a handy FAQ to help us plebeians understand why we need to wash our crotches.
They also have the classiest taglines.
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