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Hey guys, remember The Man Blog? I know it’s been down for some time already but guess what, they managed to get the site back online (well, the forums at least) albeit under a new domain name.
Awesome poster made by Larry, by the way.
To celebrate TMB’s glorious (low-key) comeback, Mike and I decided to stage another Banana Gangbang Rock Festival (pictures from the first BGRF here, by the way), where my bands and Mike’s band play on stage and we’d do embarrassing shit that nobody in their right mind is capable of doing.
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There comes a time where every man has to stop so he can contemplate about life in general. Of course, that’s a joke. No man ever stops to contemplate life, or if they ever attempt to do so, they usually end up opening up their computer, navigating to their secret porn folder of shame, then whacking off to some video of a German girl with hairy armpits getting banged to shit by five ugly assholes.
And that’s when the epiphany hits: us men touch our dicks day in and day out. Imagine all the dirt that ends up on our wieners. These things need special attention, and no I’m not talking about blowjobs. A special soap for them doohickeys between our legs, it’s what we need.
Fortunately, a couple of enterprising manufacturers have thought of that too, and have given us these pinnacles of civilization:
Freshman Masculine Wash
Freshman Masculine Wash seems to be on the brink of a multimedia advertising campaign to bring the benefits of washing your crotch with their specially formulated wash to the public. In fact, they’ve assembled a handy FAQ to help us plebeians understand why we need to wash our crotches.
They also have the classiest taglines.
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Sorry: very Doctor Who-intensive post ahead. Sorry for those who don’t watch this show – or rather I feel sorry for you.
If it’s not obvious from my tweets these last few months, I’m pretty much a huge Doctor Who fan right now. The current season turned me from a casual “download it when I have the time, Billie Piper has nice tits doesn’t she” watcher to a “holy shit when is the next episode coming out goddammit” Who-head. Wait, is there even such a term as Who-head? Anyway, yeah. Doctor Who rocks. Also, the fact that the girl playing Amy Pond, Karen Gillan, is arguably one of the cutest women on TV right now, helps.
Wait.
Disturbing obsessions with The Doctor’s cute companion aside, I found Doctor Who season five to be an insanely addictive show. It’s got all sorts of weird timey-wimey stuff mixed with just the right amount of camp to appeal to anyone with a passing interest in time travel stories. The 11th Doctor, Matt Smith, is just way too much fun to watch, filled to the brim with manic energy. From the way he was jumping everywhere, talking too fast in technobabble, and trying to scare his enemies into submission with “IM THE DOCTOR!” as he waved his sonic screwdriver around, you just know that he’s having a grand time playing The Doctor. Read the rest of this entry »
Ever wake up one day, realizing that there’s just way too many things to do and all the time in the world isn’t enough for you to accomplish all of the shit you need to get done? You see, like you, I have been doing a lot of work (it’s pretty much hush-hush stuff, but I think I can tell you that it involves burgers, snorting crushed diatabs, a huge poster of Batman, and long periods of furious, teary-eyed masturbation), and I swear, there’s just no time to get anything done. Also, I realized that this blog of mine is getting a little bit neglected.
Instead of doing the practical thing – you know, shutting this blog down already because a 27-year old guy blogging about boners, Maria Ozawa, and all that mature shit is kind of getting wrong already, I decide to solder on. But I decided to try a different strategy: get a guest blogger.
Unfortunately, my emails to Seth Godin, Guy Kawasaki, and Neil Gaiman went unanswered (in hindsight, threatening to leave a burning pile of dog poo on their porches if they refuse was a little overkill, I suppose) so I needed to find someone to fill in for me, and quick. I was hoping to find a hot and nerdy girl because why the fucking hell not? Read the rest of this entry »
To the people who like their own Facebook statuses, I have one simple question: why?
Please tell me. Are you desperate to have people liking your well-thought of and meticulously researched status (and you researched by googling for “love quotes” – but hey that took up seven minutes of your time, plus that Angelfire page crashed your Internet Explorer and that counts for something, right?) that you have to jumpstart the process by liking it yourself? Read the rest of this entry »
