28. Let’s Do This.

By Ade | Published: April 24, 2011

I have a bit of a confession, you guys: I’m sorta losing my blogging mojo. I think it’s rather obvious by now with my infrequent updates. I started from blogging every other day – now it’s been reduced to monthly installments. If I can be bothered to blog. Let’s not even talk about the state of Comicgasm. Anyway, just to give you an idea how stuck I am, this last paragraph took over 12 hours to write.

THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST OF YOOOOOOOUUU

So what does that have to do with my birthday, you ask? To be honest, I really don’t know. This year, my annual battle with pre-birthday depression didn’t really turn out to be as epic as intended, so if you were expecting the usual birthday post from me, (the one time every year I write something actually close to profound) I’m so sorry. Read More »

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Noisy, Noisy Man: Bringing You The Latest And Greatest 1:43 News Everyday!

By Ade | Published: April 1, 2011

From this moment on, this blog will cease to be a juvenile humor site laced with snark. No, it’s time for me to move on from such sophomoric pursuits and put this blog to good use. Starting today, Noisy Noisy Man is the biggest 1:43 Fansite on the Net! You’ll see one post everyday dedicated to 1:43, their sexy hot members, and the amazing music they produce.

Purveyor of good musical taste as I am, I shall leave you to celebrate with 1:43′s latest single, the very catchy and well-written P.I.N.K. (Pag-Ibig Na Kaya?)! God, this song is so fucking manly. This is making my vagina wet, and I don’t even have a vagina!

Other 1:43 fanposts by lesser, inferior, 1:43 fans:

Posted in Featured Post | Tagged , , , , | 19 Comments

I am Socially Retarded. I Blame my iPod.

By Ade | Published: March 27, 2011

I always thought that the stereotypical iPhone user – the ones who do nothing but fiddle with their smartphones all day, tweeting or playing Angry Birds or whatever – was just that: a stereotype. I mean, what kind of idiot would go to a party, and ignore everyone there because those goddamn pigs need to be killed? Well, people, this idiot whose blog you’re reading just ended up being one of those people.

It started out that fateful day I decided to get myself an iPod touch for Christmas. Okay, I’ve been pining for one for the longest time, but I wanted somebody to give it to me. Since all my friends and blog readers (you and that other guy) are cheapskates, I ended up buying my own iPod touch. Buying the iPod was surreal, really. I remember it was payday, and then I found myself at home staring at a brand-new iPod and remembering distinctly that I had to start sucking dicks so I can afford to get to work the next day.

iPod touch

Granted, I’ve done this sort of impromptu purchasing of unnecessary stuff before, and it also ate at my social life, but at least the old ASUS Eee wasn’t as immersive – or as pretty – as the iPod touch. Hell no, I wouldn’t bring that ugly ASUS Eee everywhere – I still want to have women touching my bird. A typical night out with me goes something like this: everyone’s having fun, getting drunk on beer and stuff, while I sit in one corner, nursing my first beer of the night, playing Robot Unicorn Attack. Fun times. Read More »

Posted in Personal, Stuff | Tagged , , , | 13 Comments

An Exclusive Interview with Manny Pacquiao’s Hair

By Ade | Published: March 7, 2011

Last week, the entire world was again shocked by news from People’s Champion Manny Pacquiao. No it’s not another amazing victory over another helpless Mexican, or another unintentionally hilarious quote when he tries in earnest to speak in english, or another embarrassingly bad rendition of yet another power ballad on Jimmy Kimmel. Also, it just dawned on me that Pacquiao, as much as we love and respect the guy, he is a goldmine of unintentional LOLs.

Anyway, the reason why Pacquiao is in the spotlight, again, is this:


That. Magnificent. Mane.

Look at that hair, people. Manny Pacquiao’s Justin Bieber-inspired ‘do can make any lady within 50 meters pregnant. It can turn any straight guy gay for 32 seconds. And like it. Because of this, I knew I had to interview it. Yes, guys, I’m talking about the hair, not Manny Pacquiao. You see, I interviewed the champion boxer a few years back. He’s old news. It’s all about the hair now.

Ade: How does it feel to be on the head of the world’s greatest boxer?
Manny Pacquiao’s Hair (MPH): I dunno. You tell me.
Ade: You must be totally proud.
MPH: Well, not really. I’m Manny Pacquao’s hair. I’m shaped like that creature on Justin Bieber’s head.
Ade: Uh, yeah, but come on, appearances aside, it’s not so bad, really-
MPH: Don’t kid me. Look. Justin Fucking Bieber. Do you have any idea how mortifying it is to go out everyday and having people look at you and hum that stupid “Baby” song just a little beyond earshot and have your owner in complete blissful ignorance on how embarrassed I am? Read More »

Posted in Featured Post, Stuff | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

So. Valentine’s Day. Yet Again.

By Ade | Published: February 14, 2011

I just made my first online purchase at Amazon a few days back. Luddite that I am, I tend to avoid doing online purchases due to the fear that the little man inside my computer – the guy in charge of making sure that the lights and sound are in sync so I can enjoy watching the latest 1:43 video-  might rebel and send my credit card details to some Nigerian guy. But what the hell, it’s going to be Valentine’s Day, and the girlfriend is over at the land where Bryan Adams, Celine Dion and Justin Bieber reign supreme so I might as well break out the credit card and make the purchase.

I timed it very carefully, by the way. I checked the delivery clause well, looking for a way so it gets to the girlfriend exactly on the 14th – not before, or after. I even placed my order at the last possible minute, for timing purposes (this is a perfect excuse for procrastinatiOH HI GIRLFRIEND I WAS JUST JOKING).

Still, the flowers arrived two days too early. Read More »

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

  • Hi, I’m Ade…

    ...and I don't know what I'm doing here.

    Oh, wait, this is a humor blog. I blog here. Yes, folks, I am , blogger extraordinaire. I write about deep and introspective stuff, like dick jokes, the size of the gazongas of that girl two feet away from me, my band that nobody cares to listen to, and how stupid the traffic is today on the way to work. Exciting, life-changing stuff!

    No, really, please stick around. I need new friends.

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