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You know, for a while I totally forgot that I had a blog. You see, I’ve been buried neck down in work (no, really) and a lot of other extracurricular activities. No, I’m not talking about the illegal kind, you doofus. I’m spending a lot of time working with my three bands, playing the bass and the occasional keyboards and we’re making awesome progress with our music. One band’s already considering recording shit for an EP.

But I’m really updating this blog because I just want to whine about how fucking hot it is right now. Really, this is like the worst heat I’ve encountered in ages. Okay, okay, I know I’m really fat right now and I’m pretty sure all those layers of blubber must’ve insulated and turned up the heat a couple of degrees for me, but whatever. It’s too damn hot and I swear I’m going to get sick one of these days.

So to escape the morning heat, this became my commuting routine:

• I spend fifteen minutes hiding in various shadows in my village.
• I tiptoe from one shadow to another.
• When my neighbors see me, I pretend to relax and act like it’s all cool when in reality I AM FUCKING DYING FROM THE HEAT
• They usually stop and say hi to me, and I smile back and make empathic grunts because OH GOD IT’S TOO HOT
• Then they’ll usually initiate small talk, which is the worst possible idea ever BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING HOT AND WE’RE STANDING OUT IN THE SUN ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE YOU NINCOMPOOP
• By this point I just punch the hell out of my neighbor’s Adam’s apple and make a run for it, which is a bad idea because IT’S TOO HOT and I end up a sweaty panting mess by the time I get to work.

I’m pretty sure you can conclude that I really, really, hate summer. But there’s one saving grace. VJ Fucking Greg.

Thank god for VJ Greg. Also, this blog post is a fucking mess.

Fucking heat.