I would describe myself as a really frustrated gamer. You see, I love games but I don’t have the time, patience, or skills needed to finish through a complicated game like, say, Portal. I’d probably end up cutting myself in half because I’d turn off a portal while I’m halfway through. Put me in the middle of a multiplayer FPS match and soon enough I’d find both teams ending their match and turn it into a “who will kill Ade the most” game.
Basically, I’m this guy:
So I contented myself with not playing games on a console and just grabbing my phone and playing the fuck out of these nice games that are currently taking up my time.
I’m a sucker for RPGs. It doesn’t mean I can easily finish them, of course. But still, I love playing them. I could spend weeks grinding and getting a more powerful weapon and trying to be strong enough for me to be able to fight the next boss.
Bastion was actually originally released for PC and Xbox, and when the iOS version was available locally I immediately downloaded and played the shit out of it. It’s about a post-apocalyptic world where the remnants of civilization (two of them) live in The Bastion. You play The Kid, a silent cowboy-type guy who goes off into the ruins to pick up artifacts to restore the world.
Pretty great RPG, even if the story needs a little more depth.
Injustice: Gods Among Us Mobile
I don’t even know why I’m playing this. This isn’t as great as the mobile ports of Street Fighter 4 and Street Fighter X Tekken, but I find myself holding on, match after match, tapping and swiping away at my screen, watching the delayed reactions of my characters as they try to punch the shit out of each other.
Is it because I want that Insurgency Batman? Is it even worth it? I don’t know.
I love me a really nice FPS for me to play around with. However I found games like N.O.V.A. to be overly complicated with the convoluted control system not really working that well on a touch screen. Seriously, every time I play N.O.V.A. I’m all “HOLY SHIT WHERE AM I LOOKING AT OH GOD WHO’S SHOOTING AT ME FUCK YOU FUCK YOU”
The Drowning, on the other hand, is a nice and simple FPS with a touch-based control scheme that lets me shoot down zombie monsters with no problem at all. I wish the story was more than “get stuck in an area for two minutes, kill all the monsters that you can, and scavenge shit and grind it all over again.”
I’d love to see a studio with real storytelling chops work on a horror FPS with this control scheme.
You play a caveman that runs down a dungeon, punching down zombies, skeletons, bats, disembodied eyeballs, and orcs. He can also ride a velociraptor that shoots lasers, and he can also turn into a garden gnome and fight gigantic wasps.
In other words, greatest game ever.
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
10 years on, this game still plays as great as the original. Even on a touchscreen. That’s all I can say.
Robot Unicorn Attack 2
Second endless runner in this list. Sensing a pattern?
I’m a big fan of the original Robot Unicorn Attack. My love for that game left me subconsciously humming Erasure’s “Always” non-stop for weeks on end. Okay, RUA2 does NOT play that cursed song out of the box (you have to buy it, bah) but it more than makes up for it with Unicorn customization and a social gaming system that’s pretty fun to play with.
What are you currently playing? I wanna hear about it. Talk to me and recommend new games for me to pick up in the comments!
If you liked this, these other posts may interest you:
- The Lapsed Gamer: Games I’m Looking Forward to Playing this 2017
- The Lapsed Gamer: My Top 5 Nintendo Switch Games of 2017
- The Lapsed Gamer: What I’m Currently Playing
- Horror in Your Phone: ‘SIM – Sara is Missing’ Review
- ‘Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle’ Review: Why Does It Work?