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So I finally did it. After months of saving up, I went out and got me a brand-new laptop.

You guys all remember the time when I bought my first laptop, right? I saved up for months so I can afford the super-cheap Asus Eee PC 701. I was kind of an idiot back then, and I thought that since all I did was to surf the internet and look for porn, a laptop with specs that were top-of-the-line seven years ago and running a stripped-down version of Linux was enough. Big mistake.

Sure, I had fun dicking around with various distros of Linux. I even got Doom to run on it. I even got an offer to write on a blog about the Asus Eee. And when I finally installed Windows XP on MacEnvy (Yes, that’s what I named my laptop. What.), it took me a couple of days trimming all the fat from the OS, and I did learn a lot (something along the lines of “do not delete the nice file called SYSTEM32.exe”), but two years onward, having a first-generation netbook that doesn’t do much kind of became a pain. (more…)

If all this hulabaloo we’re hearing on the internet and Wikipedia is true, then the world is about to end on December 21, 2012. No, seriously. It says so on the Mayan Calendar. In fact, if you check this site out, you’d get some really informative stuff like this:

Q – According to Mayan calculations, when (in our calendar) is the world due to end?

The end of the Mayan Great Cycle after the completion of the 12th Bak’tum. It’s either the 21st or 23rd December, 2012 depending on whether you use the 584,285 or 584,283 correlation coefficient.

So, that clearly states that The Long Jump Calendar predicts a great cataclysm and that- wait. I didn’t get it. Let’s try again:

Clearly, the Maya put a great deal of work into this cycle, and it appears that they were warning us that this cycle causes periodic, massive cataclysms. The more we find out about this cycle, the more we want to know when it will be. Then we know that we can stop going to work, put on a pair of shorts, sit out and relax in a lawn chair and wait for the end of time, quietly sipping a lemonade [or perhaps something a lot stronger.]

Holy shitballs! You mean the Mayans, through the power of math, have figured out that massive cataclysms will happen? I knew I should’ve paid attention to math back in high school. For all we know I could’ve been predicting the end of the world instead of writing dick jokes on the internet. (more…)