Noisy, Noisy Man

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Man, your last attempt to steal my wallet was a dismal failure. I have never seen a pickpocket crash and burn so spectacularly in my life. How can you expect to feed your children with stolen money if your continue to work that way?

But don’t worry, unlike your other victims, I won’t laugh at your failure or kick you in the balls or report you to the cops even though the temptation was so much. In fact, I’m taking the high road, buddy. I’m going to show you where exactly you went wrong so you can successfully pick the pockets of other hapless MRT commuters in the future.

• Blending in – If you plan to steal some guy’s hard-earned pay, you need to be discreet. Nobody would suspect somebody who just blends in the background. And honestly, dude, your getup needs a little work.

  Clearly, a guy who looks like a redneck would stick out like a sore thumb, because – I hate to break this to you – there aren’t too many rednecks here in our third world country, much less people who dress like one.

  So dude, piece of advice: if you plan on not getting suspected, ditch the beard, the stupid trucker cap that’s two sizes too small, and the beer belly. Also if you try to be less ugly, that’ll help a lot.

Read the rest of this entry »

As you all know, I’m a bassist. A really lousy one, but whatev. So anyway, for the longest time I’ve been borrowing bass guitars left and right mainly because my old bass hasn’t really been usable.

It’s really hard to play the riff of “Come Together” with this.
 

If you remember, way back in January, I wished for a new bass. Read the rest of this entry »

Let me open this blog entry by posting a message to the oil conglomerates and those who constantly raise prices of basic commodities like Mini Stop Kariman and those things I buy off street urchins (I don’t know what those things are, but I tend to float three feet off the ground whenever I sniff that stuff):

Also, fuck you.

Now that rant’s safely out of the way, let me tell you what’s been bothering me lately. You see, it seems that every single thing has been becoming too expensive, too fast. Just the other day, bus fare jumped up a whopping three pesos. Okay, that didn’t sound too much, but for miserly old me, it’s a fortune. Read the rest of this entry »