Noisy, Noisy Man

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WARNING: Crappy entry ahead. What. I have a migraine.

So I was going to sit down and write another installment of Down the Highway, but this stupid headache won’t let me. It’s like two rock creatures were fucking with abandon in my head.

Okay, maybe that analogy may be a little too much. I guess the story of my migraine started off with a pebble. Let’s call the pebble Frank. So Frank was sitting on the ground one sunny morning. It was just there, minding his own business, being cute and pebble-like. Well that was until this truck rolled in and crushed the stupid pebble.

Frank’s family was devastated when they learned of his untimely demise

The truck’s doors opened and out stepped this dude named Frankie (ah, yes, a migraine really gets me creative with names) who was then hit by a rolling boulder that came out of nowhere. I dunno where it came from, there were no mountains nearby to cause landslides. Just fucking chalk it up to Deus Ex Machina or something, ok? Read the rest of this entry »

So, tomorrow would be the much-anticipated boxing event, the bout between Manny Pacquiao and Ricky Hatton. The fight is also named “The Battle of East and West,” and is therefore considered to have the worst name in the history of boxing, you know?

Also, they totally got the name of the fight wrong here.

I’m pretty sure the streets will again be practically abandoned and crime rates will fall to zero as people will crowd in front of their television sets and root for Pacquiao by screaming “SIGE MANNY SUNTUKIN MO PA! PAKSHET GALENG MO MANNY, PATAYIN MO NA PUTANG INA YAN SIGA SUNTOK PA TANGINANG YAN!” and after he wins, 90% of Filipinos would engage in some weird mass orgasm, run through the streets in ecstasy and celebrate the triumph and perseverance of the Filipino Spirit. Read the rest of this entry »

In the light of teh boxing superstar Manny Pacquiao’s awesome victory over Erik Morales, The Noisy Noisy Man (yours truly) was able to catch Manny Pacquiao in a strip club secret location somewhere in Las Vegas and was able to score an exclusive, no-holds-barred interview with him.

Manny Pacquiao, National Hero

Me: Before we go on, let me just tell you how proud I am of your victory.
Pacquiao: Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-
Me: Um, look here.
Pacquiao: Man! I would like to get a piece of that-
Me: Look here.
Pacquiao: Oh, oh yeah. Want some ChickenMcDo?
Read the rest of this entry »