Inner Child Therapy: I’m Pretty Sure I Had A Witty Title For This But I Forgot
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It’s been quite a while since we heard from my Inner Child, haven’t we? I honestly don’t know what to do with this next Inner Child Therapy session since I haven’t been emo and shit lately. I know, I know, the reason you return to this blog is that you wanna read up on my failures and now that I don’t carry a shitful of emo around my blog is extremely pointless to read.
Just to prove my point, here’s my traffic lately:
See the downward slope? That’s you people, telling me that my blog is useless without me documenting my many failures in life.
You guys suck.
Anyway, here’s me and my Inner Child, going at each other’s throats as usual. I swear, If he wasn’t all imaginary and subconscious-y, I’d have beaten him up a long time ago.
INNER CHILD: Oh crap, don’t tell me you wanna talk to me again.
ME: Oh yes I do. You see, I totally need you this time.
INNER CHILD: You always need me. But where the fuck are you whenever I need help?
ME: Look, when did you ever ask me for-
INNER CHILD: That’s not the point. The thing is you’re never there when I need help because-
ME: Again: you have never asked me for help. Not once.
INNER CHILD: Again: that is not the fucking point.
ME: …
INNER CHILD: What?
ME: What the fuck is your point, then?
INNER CHILD: My point is that you whack off way too much at your extensive collection of Maria Ozawa videos.
ME: That just did not make any sense.
INNER CHILD: Of course it doesn’t. Read the rest of this entry »
