Tag Archives: girlfriend

An Open Letter to the Dude who was Fingering his Girlfriend on the MRT

24 Jun

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This entry is part 10 of 12 in the series Open Letters

Dear dude who was fingering his girlfriend on the MRT,

First off, I applaud you. It takes much effort to doodle the noodle in public. Really. I mean, with all the people around seeing you excavate the Tunnel of Love, it takes guts. You’ve got balls of steel to solder on while people turn away in disgust.

You see, I was beside you today while waiting for the train. You, me, your girlfriend, and a huge crowd. I kinda knew you were double-clicking her mouse because she was squirming all over the damn place. Hiding her crotch with her big-ass bag was a nice touch, though. It really made the scene more obvious, but still, nice touch.

No, I wasn’t talking about your touch. Ass.

So finally, the train entered the station (hyuk, hyuk, I made a funneh) and I tried to get away as far from you two as possible. Goddammit, why the hell did you two decide to get a seat in front of me where I can see you two flip the light switch repeatedly? And OF COURSE you had to stop digging in so you two can put on shades. Yeah, like that’ll hide your identity. Very subtle, really. (more…)

When They Say the Chicken Is Hot, They Frickin’ Mean It.

17 Nov

The girlfriend and I love this quaint little restaurant near her school. The place serves awesome pasta, ginormous porkchops, and their specialty, buffalo wings. You see, I love buffalo wings. If there was a kid in chicken wing school who bullied all those nerdy asthmatic chicken wings and gave them wedgies, it must be the buffalo wings. I swear, they have an almost genetic advantage in terms of awesomeness over all those plain stupid fried chicken wings. And let’s not get started on how wimpy and lame-ass tinola wings are. Sheesh.

wild wings

Anyway, for the longest time, their menu has piqued my curiosity. Okay, anything with food names written on it makes me curious and horny, but you didn’t need to know that. So my point is that this restaurant serves the most number of buffalo wing variations ever. All my life I thought that there was only one kind of buffalo wings, and that it is heavenly enough already.

Turns out I’ve been living a lie all along. You see, there are four varieties of buffalo wings. And one of them is called “Wild”. Yes, wild. Like your mom last night. (more…)

Rants. Also, Sneezing

19 Oct

So I realized I’ve been ranting too much on this blog. Well, if you did spend the morning commute with some schmuck’s armpit stuck to your face, you’d probably be ranting as much as I would first thing when you open up your blog, but that’s beside the point. You see, I’ve had a few recent complaints about the world that I haven’t blogged about lately, like humongous people (you know, people fatter than me) who block my way when I’m walking in a very narrow alleyway (also, I was late for work too), the girlfriend staying in Bryan Adams territory for a couple of weeks (TMB peeps: your company, with lots of beer to pass the time, is highly appreciated), or the drugstores that put their prettiest salesladies near the condom shelf, ensuing hilarity and judging, piercing stares when I go over and pick up one look at the display out of curiosity.

(more…)

While Everyone Else Was UAAP-Crazy…

26 Sep

… I was treading floodwater.


In the picture: Ateneo celebrating their UAAP victory

The girlfriend watched the UAAP game yesterday, and we decided to have a nice dinner after the game while everyone around us was going batshit crazy because of the celebratory mood (or for Lasallians, gloomy mood) in the air. So off I went, and HOLY MOTHER OF PICKLES IT WAS RAINING HARD.


Not pictured: Ade getting soaked

Also, I forgot my umbrella. (more…)