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MOSCOW – Apparently, them Russians have had enough of their kids dressing weirdly. Fed up with their children’s black-dressing and bad hair ways, the Russian government is passing a law that will effectively ban emo hairstyles and emo dress styles in schools and government buildings.

A behind-the-scenes look at the legislative process.

The laws are being crafted to curb dangerous self-destructive activities associated with emo.

The Guardian describes emos as “12-16 year-olds with black and pink clothing, studded belts, painted fingernails, ear and eyebrow piercings, and black hair with fringes that ‘cover half the face’. Emo culture’s ‘negative ideology’ may encourage depression, social withdrawal and even suicide, the bill alleges – with young girls being particularly vulnerable.” (more…)

Seriously, there’s no better way to kick off February’s round of Valentine’s-related posts than a couple of letters from our favorite advice column for those funny-looking kids we like to laugh at and kick around and lovingly call emos, Down The Highway!

Dear DtH,

- L0n3L3Y_3m0_gUrL_254641xoxo (more…)

Dear DtH,

xXxXx_3m0-b0i_xXxXx

Dear xXxXx_3m0-b0i_xXxXx,

I probably need more time to understand what the fuck you’re talking about. Nice poetry by the way. (It IS poetry, right?) (more…)

Tell me if you haven’t felt this when starting a new relationship after a series of failed ones: your past failures, whether real or imagined, will always come back to haunt you. Granted, the new girlfriend will most definitely be not be like my exes (Psychotic stalker-ish otaku ex? Psuedo-fashionista with absolutely no fashion sense at all and with an IQ of a turnip? Come on), but still, everyone comes from a string of failed relationships, and we all can’t help but blame ourselves from time to time.

Lemme ask you guys, who here hasn’t been through a shitty relationship before? We all get the urge to start a new one, but in the back of our head, we’d all have fears and insecurities every now and then. (more…)

Know what scares me? I’ve been getting these awesometastic bouts of depression lately. I know that you’d probably either go “Oh, look, there’s Ade, overdramatizing again about his trivial problems. Let’s laugh at him!” or “Ade, here’s some Xanax. Please overdose yourself ktnx.” or “Ade, you need to get laid. Hey that rhymes!” or “Look, a pink unicorn!”

 
And I’m getting pretty scared because it’s coming on to often. But I just usually try to shrug it off by saying “Meh. I shall handle depression like a MAN!” and I’ll hide in my bedroom, burying myself in pillows and sobbing my eyes off while eating my second bucketful of KFC Chicken.

But to make me feel better I kinda had long talks with Kring and Sorsi (yeah, yeah, Sorsi’s the girl who makes me depressed and suicidal everytime I talk to her, yadda yadda. I was desperate.) and thanks to them I was able to cheer up. Also, I think Sorsi would make buttloads of cash if she ever does choose to take up life coaching as a career. (more…)

Let’s just say last week was pretty weird for me. I’d rather not go into details, but let me just say the weirdness went into automatic proportions (a private joke there, har har har- what.) which rather left me depressed for the remainder of the week. If not for Sorsi I’d probably be depressed still. And that’s saying a lot, because when I talk to her I usually end up depressed and suicidal most of the time.

Anyway, I’ve probably been so awesometastically used to rejection that I don’t mind it lately (which is scary in itself). I really don’t understand what’s wrong with my approach. C’mon ladies, isn’t getting various pictures of me holding your mom hostage with the words “I Love You. Love Me Back. Or Else” written on her forhead the sweetest thing? Or the time I helpfully handed you your soap and shampoo in the shower? Wasn’t it a pleasant surprise? (more…)