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When Karaoke Kills

They say heart disease is the leading cause of death. I say that list is incomplete. They failed to add another leading contributor to the mortality rate: Karaoke.

For a great example of how karaoke kills, just look at the eyes of the guy on the left. His eyes are glowing red because the guy in the blue shirt is fat. And reaching for his crotch. He’s about to optic-blast the poor guy to smithereens.

Yes folks, Karaoke kills.

Just last night I was trying to get some well-deserved sleep when our very considerate neighbors decided to hold a karaoke party. With booze. Everybody knows that booze and Karaoke doesn’t mix. To cut a long story short, I was treated to a one-of-a-kind performance by our not-so-sober neighbors, who are, to put it nicely, gifted singers. How nice of them to sing to get rid of my headache.

At the fifth repition of “Love Moves in Mysterious Ways”, (sung inexplicably by a man) I couldn’t take it any more. I closed my room’s windows, and put my head under the pillows. Unfortunately, I could still hear his howling singing.

Then he started singing “My Heart Will Go On”. Geez, what’s wrong with that guy?! I was seriously contemplating genocide then. And to pass a law that will make it legal to murder drunk singers in karaoke parties.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to sleep decently, for their lovely party went on until 3 am.

Got any horrific karaoke experiences? Tell me!

42 Comments

  1. ric

    I had a great time in one of these karaoke parties. Read about it here

  2. ade

    [Comment ID #619 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Actually, a FILIPINO invetned the Karaoke machine… He just sold the patent to Yamaha to make ends meet. 😉

  3. ade

    [Comment ID #679 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Someone's taking this blog WAY TOO SERIOUSLY….

    And, um, ever heard of punctuation marks?

  4. hayzzzzzzzz

  5. wala lang wag naman kau ganyan ok lang naman kung nasa lugar yung pagkanta nila pero pag sobra na nakakaasar talaga at ano koneksyon ng my way sa patayan ang layo naman at pano naeenvolve ang my way sa mga murder na nangyayari yun lang

  6. Trosp

    What if somebody can belt out respectable versions of The Flame by Cheap Trick, Don't Let It End by Styx, Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams, Africa by Toto, Too Young by Jack Wagner, Hold On by Side A, and I'll Never Go by Nexxus.

    I guess he is also going to be mobbed by the "My Way" and " Green Green Grass of Home" gangs for changing the traditional singing style of karaoke.

    Ha ha ha ha…

  7. malapit nanaman ang fiesta dito samin at may yung mga bahay sa harap, likod, kaliwa at kanan ng bahay namin ay magsisikantahan nanaman. Damn it! Leave the Forever's Not Enough to Sarah Geronimo.

  8. ade

    [Comment ID #628 Will Be Quoted Here]

    what's with the song, man?

    [Comment ID #629 Will Be Quoted Here]

    murderer!!!

    [Comment ID #630 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I may smite you for using lol.

    [Comment ID #633 Will Be Quoted Here]

    i'm not alone! wahooo!

    [Comment ID #634 Will Be Quoted Here]

    i did remember reading about that on the papers. 😉

    [Comment ID #636 Will Be Quoted Here]

    But My Way is the only one that's cursed…

    [Comment ID #639 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Mandy?! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  9. ie

    i think the combo of karaoke and booze has always been a value meal for fortysomethings here in the philippines. kahit walang pulutan, tuloy ang kantahan.

    (ever noticed that 'pulutan', 'inuman' and 'katahan' rhyme? wala lang.)

    dagdag lang pala, famous din ata ang "mandy" sa mga lasenggo. ha ha. :]

  10. "my way", "green green grass of home" at "delilah"..yan ang mga kantang kinaiinisan ko kapag nagkakaraoke na ang mga lasenggo sa amin! 🙂

  11. "My Way" really kill a person…di na talaga sisikatan ng araw ang kakanta nito!

  12. aby

    oh, i've been there!!! and it sucks. freaky voices numb my brains. yay.

  13. I would rather listen and play some musical instruemnts than sing. hehehe.

    btw, someone smited me. i hate them. lol.

  14. Oooops… I think I'm a murderer hehehe. I like to give everybody who can hear my nerve bursting performance. Sleep tight everybody!

  15. To hell with those inconsiderate karaoke street singers! They ought to be taught a lesson or two about manners.

    …………………..

    Whatcha gon’ do with all that ass?

    All that ass inside them jeans?

    I’ma make, make, make, make you scream

    Make you scream, make you screeeaaam!!!!

  16. ade

    [Comment ID #611 Will Be Quoted Here]

    that's… violent…

    [Comment ID #612 Will Be Quoted Here]

    scary neighbors!

    [Comment ID #613 Will Be Quoted Here]

    honestly? we are…

    [Comment ID #614 Will Be Quoted Here]

    to hell!!!

    [Comment ID #616 Will Be Quoted Here]

    but…. it's gonna be hell…

    [Comment ID #618 Will Be Quoted Here]

    OMGWTFBBQ!!!

    [Comment ID #619 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I LIKE O&L! 🙁

    [Comment ID #620 Will Be Quoted Here]

    now THAT's inconsiderate of your neighbors… thanks for dropping by here too!

    [Comment ID #621 Will Be Quoted Here]

    that's the sad thing about it…

    [Comment ID #622 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Que horror!

    [Comment ID #623 Will Be Quoted Here]

    that's painful!

    [Comment ID #624 Will Be Quoted Here]

    isa ka pa!

  17. yeah! meron akong horrific experience sa karaoke na yan…pag magiinom na kami ng mga ka-BBFSG ( bestfriend forever sa gimik) gusto kung patulugin na lang si yen hahaha! joke!

    so far…wala pa naman, kasi yong mga kapitbahay namin dito puro arabo 🙂

  18. eka

    Haha I remember last Christmas. There was a bunch of drunkards singing their lungs out,they can’t even carry a tune! They kept on singing cheesy,sad love songs it's irritating.

  19. this is true, i once murdered mandy moore's my hope.

  20. at kung sino pa ang walang boses yun pa ang mahilig kumanta. kaya di ako mahilig sa karaoke 🙂

  21. Oh yes, KARAOKE DEFINITELY KILLS! Especially if you're a terrible singer. Wait for an angry mob to hunt you down. :)) Nah, that won't even happen. They usually cheer on the horrible ones.

    I've had awful karaoke experiences a couple of times… the worst was when I had to study for a chemistry exam, and the house across was having a celebration that involved loud stereos, bad singing and thunder claps. Oh. Dear. Lord.

    Thanks for visiting my site. 🙂

  22. Q

    Most Pinoys seem to lose their heads when in front of a karaoke machine. This whole thing smacks of a questionable tendency to ape and mimic. It is degrading. Orange and lemons' "Pinoy Ako" ripoff of a song is a variant of that karaoke-mimic instinct.

  23. I hate it whenever my relatives would come together and do karaoke… I'd feel sorry for our neighbors cause they'd be singing Michael learn to Rock songs until the wee hours of the night.

  24. One of the cheap thrills of life is the videoke. Wrong lyrics and out of tune and all! It kills, at Php 5 or more per song, the videoke owner and the more expensive gadget, Magic Sing maker is indeed making a killing! If you want to get back at your neighbors or the guys on the videoke queue, sing American Pie or November Rain- that is 7 minutes plus of torture or the rap songs. Sing them with gusto! Wrong lyrics and out of tune and all!

  25. Hi! Bloghopped from Abaniko….Now I can see somehow why this site got some porn referrals,…you know…noisy man may mean at times to be some kinda of naughty idea…

    In our place, some have lost their lives singing "My Way" and it happened not only once but at least twice already…

  26. Yes, i agree. Karaoke kills! The hell with those neighbors!!!

  27. Reading all this, one has to wonder if Filipinos are more addicted to karaoke than the Japanese are purported to be. :p

  28. I remember one time last New Year's eve celebration when this barkada who spent an entire day infront of the karaoke machine almost made my eardrums bleed. Gawd, before the fireworks exploded, I could hear them already. I heard them through the noise and before I slept. And when I woke up, they were still singing. When we went out and returned late in the afternoon, gawd, they were still singing their lungs out!

  29. Oh, God. Karaoke. Back when I was living in Katipunan, I had this neighbor who went crazy when he recieved a Magic Sing mic for Christmas. He started singing around 10:00PM and finally stopped around 6AM. He lived two doors from us. I was so irritated I ended up ripping the sheets on my bed. 😀

  30. ade

    [Comment ID #594 Will Be Quoted Here]

    "My Way" should be banned from videoke bars. 😛

    [Comment ID #595 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I know! I wasn't the one singing, hence it was hell.

    [Comment ID #597 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Kaya hindi ka dapat maglasing.

    [Comment ID #600 Will Be Quoted Here]

    You have a deathwish. =P

    [Comment ID #601 Will Be Quoted Here]

    OMGWTFBBQ!!!

    [Comment ID #602 Will Be Quoted Here]

    It sure felt like hell no?

    [Comment ID #603 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Thank you very much!

    [Comment ID #605 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Ako'y sasama sayo sa pananalangin…

    [Comment ID #606 Will Be Quoted Here]

    It's just that booze shouldn't be mixed with it.

    [Comment ID #607 Will Be Quoted Here]

    It's true… it's a cursed song, I tell you!!!

  31. [Comment ID #607 Will Be Quoted Here]

    That story was actually on the evening news.

  32. I don't know if you heard the story of a pinoy who was shot to dead because of the song "My way"?

    Not sure either, if it was a hoax!

  33. its irritating hearing drunk men sing. makes you want to break the bottle on their heads real hard…

    nuff said.

    but karaokes are okay, really.

  34. Nakakabanas talaga ang mga kapitbahay na bigla na lang nagpapaconcert sa gitna ng gabi. Sa una ay nakakatawa pero kapag tumagal ay nakaka-inis na rin.

    Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon ay nananalangin ako na sana ay mawalan ng kuryente at bumalik agad para masira ang videoke machine nila dahil sa electric surge. 😀

  35. ahohohoho.. I linked you!

    Natawa ako talaga sa picture!!

    Karaoke kills? Hahahah!!

  36. Hah! You are not alone! When I was still living in Pasay, all hell broke lose for everyday was just a never-ending battle with the karaoke superstars.

    Thank God we moved.

  37. rob

    I hate videoke and karaoke. Some friends love singing so I was forced to sing The Day You Said Goodnight one time. And I tell you, that is one of the most embarassing moments of my life!

    Loved singing Meatloaf's I Would Do Anything For Love in karaoke when I was a midget though. 😉

  38. Sa providence lang ako nagvvideole/karaoke. At ayaw kong mambulahaw ng mga tao. hehe last na kanta namin parati ang my way haha..

  39. yen

    wg ka naman ganyan nahuhurt ako.. frustraTed singer ako kaya alam ko pakiramdam ng mga lasenggero na kapitbahay nio!!!

  40. it kills if you're not the one singing, but if you're holding the mic, i'm sure you'll have a hell of a good time!

  41. [Comment ID #593 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I heard once that "My Way" is the song that scores the most mortalities at karaokes where knives are involved. 😉

  42. yeah you're right karaoke kills specially if they started to sing the immortal "my way". 🙂

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