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Toys

Sometimes, I swear, there is a big conspiracy that purports to make little kids a sex-crazed generation. How, you may ask? You see, toys like Bratz teach little girls how to dress as skankily as possible, Dora Aquapets make for very private bedroom fun for all ages, and childhood heroes like Jamie Lynn Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton could actually testify that alcoholism, teenage pregnancy, and uploading sex videos on the internet are actually cool.

So where does it all bring us? Just the other day I was taking a leisurely stroll in a mall when I chanced upon this toy:

A Spider-Man web flicker pack. You have a webslinger and some rubber webs, and then you flick them all over the place, much to the chagrin of your folks. “Oh look! Our son’s throwing away expensive molded rubber all over the place! I bet we’ll never get to find some of those things and our cat will probably choke on them and die and we’ll all go to jail for cruelty to animals or something. Way to go, son!”

Looks innocent, right? Wrong. You see, I just had to flip the damn thing over and guess what the instructions at the back told me what I should do:

I.. uh… what? Lookit that kid holding a big red… knobby… thing, covered with that… white sticky… stuff.

I can only shudder at what the boy’s poor parents are thinking now.

What do you think?

19 Comments

  1. Damn, the YouTube vid didn't make it. Look at it here.

    Rico's last blog post..Why Must We Refrain From Saying Don’t?

  2. Heh, that's nothing. Check out the end of this video:

    Btw, ghost comment boxesssss!!!! Whoooooooo!!!!

    Rico's last blog post..Why Must We Refrain From Saying Don’t?

  3. doesn't it make you angry? teaching kids nowadays..

  4. thegreatest

    [quote comment="119255"]I'm with FunnySexy. I don't get it. And I feel like a loser for not getting it.

    Ria Jose's last blog post..Gold and Silver[/quote]

    I think you're supposed to squint your eyes at the picture and think dirty thoughts.

  5. thegreatest

    [quote comment="119266"]That white sticky stuff's everything BUT semen, really.[/quote]

    Now I know you're really underage.

    And, not male.

  6. ROFLMAO!

    Ayaw ko na pumasok sa mga toy store.

    Najo's last blog post..Org-less Life is Ironic

  7. [quote comment="119259"]Dude, I gotta agree with Baddie. Posting sex videos on the net IS cool. After all, what else is the internet for?

    evilpupil's last blog post..Bipolar disorder.[/quote]

    The internet is for PORN . Lol 😀

  8. You have changed the way I see toys now. Everytime I walk into a toy store, that thought is gonna disturb me if not always, then most of the time. Youuuuuu….

    Juice's last blog post..Smushtration

  9. That white sticky stuff's everything BUT semen, really.

  10. You have done a terrible thing to a children's toy. What a sad childhood this Ade guy must had. 🙁

    Steel's last blog post..Five Things I Want to Have in 2008

  11. Ade

    [quote comment="119251"]"and childhood heroes like Jamie Lynn Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton could actually testify that alcoholism, teenage pregnancy, and uploading sex videos on the internet are actually cool."

    But… they are. What's wrong with you? I don't know you anymore.

    [/quote]

    [quote comment="119259"]Dude, I gotta agree with Baddie. Posting sex videos on the net IS cool. After all, what else is the internet for?

    [/quote]

    Can we, for once, pretend that I'm a morally upright person?

    [quote comment="119252"]Wait. I didn't quite get it. O_o[/quote]

    There's hope for you yet.

  12. Dude, I gotta agree with Baddie. Posting sex videos on the net IS cool. After all, what else is the internet for?

    evilpupil's last blog post..Bipolar disorder.

  13. Pau

    I think you have a dirty mind.

    Pau's last blog post..PWiince of Persia : Rival Swords

  14. I don't see it…

    I heard those ballons that clowns make are an introduction to dildos.

    Exene's last blog post..They Didn?t Go Easy On Me

  15. I'm with FunnySexy. I don't get it. And I feel like a loser for not getting it.

    Ria Jose's last blog post..Gold and Silver

  16. This a toy you own and play with?

    Now that explains everything…LOLZ

    jhay's last blog post..The FEJ Theme Reboot

  17. Wait. I didn't quite get it. O_o

    FunnySexy's last blog post..An Open Letter to the One I Love

  18. "and childhood heroes like Jamie Lynn Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton could actually testify that alcoholism, teenage pregnancy, and uploading sex videos on the internet are actually cool."

    But… they are. What's wrong with you? I don't know you anymore.

    Baddie's last blog post..Dramatic Chipmunk vs. Serious Baddie

  19. IF I KNOW, you're really into that Aquapet, Sir Ade and that masculiney-Spidey-rubbery-thingy's a lame effort to cover it up.

    Did that Satan secks Utoob vid remind you of digging it out from your undershirt drawer? I know you missed it so yeah.

    ROFLMAO. ^_^ Kidding!

    Neil's last blog post..mouse hunting

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