This Conversation Is A BUMmer.

Hey guys, remember Schmade? You know, that dude who gets laughed at while he buys condoms and he is so totally not me? Yeah, that loser. You see he was talking to Schnoelle (who is so totally not Noelle) just a while ago and the following conversation ensued:

SCHMADE: is it just me or is Maria Ozawa’s butt kinda… unreal?
SCHNOELLE: what if she isn’t even a real person? LOL
SCHMADE: you mean that butt I’ve been staring at all this time isn’t real?!:O
SCHMADE: and i fell for that?!:O
SCHNOELLE: you stare at buttS?
SCHMADE: I… I don’t.
SCHNOELLE: yeah, right.
SCHMADE: Look, she probably gave God a boner when he sculpted that butt ok?
SCHNOELLE: ok, filing that away for later blackmail.
SCHMADE: a butt of lies.
SCHNOELLE: it would be funnier if you said “a butt… OF LIES!!!”
SCHMADE: fine. Here goes.
SCHMADE: a butt… OF LIES!!!111one

butt of lies
Butt of lies?

SCHMADE: …naaah, not funny when it comes from me
SCHNOELLE: but it is!!!
SCHMADE: gimme a moment while i think up of a reBUTTal!
SCHNOELLE: I’ve got BUTTerflies in my stomach
SCHMADE: I want a nice BUTT of coffee (i got nothin’)
SCHNOELLE: Punning really undoes your BUTTons doesn’t it?
SCHMADE: yeah. that’s the truth and nothing BUTT.
SCHNOELLE: I was afraid to ASSume.
SCHMADE: Yeah, but the truth is as slippery as BUTTer.
SCHNOELLE: I’m scraping the BOTTOM of the barrel, coming up with nothing na
SCHMADE: Okay, I’ve hit rock BOTTOM.

Judging from the conversation above, I have seen that Ade – fuck, I mean Schmade – probably needs to stop talking to women to prevent future litigation. He should also lay off the stupid puns. Schmade, buddy, if you’re reading this, you have to work harder at being funny.

Puns are at the BOTTOM of the humor hierarchy. Come on, you could do better if you don’t want to become the BUTT of jokes. You have to be FANNYer. Jokes don’t come from an ASSembly line, you know. It isn’t eASSy, BUTT if you can work hard, you can rise from the CRACKS at the BOTTOM. Learn to ANALyze.

So in conclusion: BUTTS. TOTALLY.






    • Ade

      Hey Hype! Wow, you've visited my blog again! I haven't been able to logon to MySpace, I think my account was hacked. I'm mostly on Facebook now.

      You can upload your avatar at

      Ok, I'll add you on my blogroll. 🙂

      Great to hear from you again!:)

  2. How do I get my Avitar in here!!???

  3. Ummm… Is that a hook in her butt? It's kind of a big butt. Reminds me of that song: "I like big butts and I can't deny it!" ROTF

    How are you Ade! long time no talk! I think I deleted you from myspace as a fiend 'cause you don't go there. I'd love to have you check out myspace, although I don't have much written on it lately due to the fact that my puter has been taken over by Hal, then Wormy, and has to be sent out to be… *sobs* wiped! 15 years of everything… gone!

    Even though it says there is no "feed" to my "space", that's my url…

    Are you familiar w/Maximum the Hormone? My fav band lately!

    The comic site you've sent me… I've never heard of them!!! Nor seen anything they've written… Is it in English? lol?

    Hope you're well and enjoying "not watching butts"!

    Take care!



  4. you mean….. maria ozawa…. is a…. sex doll?

    <abbr>jepoy´s last blog post..Sun Cellular Launches SunTel</abbr>

  5. thegreatest

    You need counseling…no ifs, ands, or butts about it.

  6. Rich Muhlach

    Hahaha! A wHOLE conversation about BUTTs. It was a bit crASS, but I found it REARy funny! Wait, wait – why did I just sound like a Kreyan BACK there? It felt like I left my tongue to wag BEHIND and got my BOTTOM liP WET.

  7. BUTT.. BUTT..BUTT.. I don't wanna comment LOL :p

  8. I remember one awesome line from the TV series "How I Met Your Mother"

    Barney described how overcoming the fear of licking the Liberty Bell was like, "Grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it!" LOLZ

    <abbr>jhay´s last blog post..Unlocked Apple iPhones being sold in Hong Kong</abbr>

  9. BOTTOMs up! *cheers*

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