Personal

There's a Conspiracy To Keep Me Locked In My House

A couple of months ago, the water company decided, on a whim, to change all the water pipes in our area. It’s cool with me, considering the fact that most water pipes in this godforsaken country have been laid down way before WW II and are probably clogged with the bones of some Japanese soldier, and did I mention I drink water? So yeah.

But it never occurred to me that changing pipes is a complicated matter. They would dig up the pipes from the bottom of the ground, and remove the old one and then replace it with a shiny new pipe, then cover it up with soil and cement it all over again. And the whole time they’d have road signs saying “We don’t just lay pipes, we build lives” (and a million dirty jokes just went through my mind just like that. IKNOWRITE).

What they didn’t mention is that the entire damn process would take months. And to speed up the process, they decided to do all the streets in our village at the same time. Yes, at the same fucking time. And the geniuses at the water company effectively closed off all the major roads. Yay!

To top it off, the construction workers have built a shack near our house, bringing their wives and kids there to live with them for the entirety of the project. So yay, right? I mean, every morning I wake up to this pleasant dialogue coming through my window:

Guy: PUTANG INA NAMAN! MAGSAING KA NA! MAGTATRABAHO PA AKO!
Wife: LECHE KA! KUNG DI MO INUBUS ANG PERA NATIN SA GIN KAGABI MAY ISASAING AKO!
Son: Ang iingay nyo! Di ako makapag konsentreyt sa laru ko! Binabato ko lahat ng dumadaan dito eh! Tapos mamaya sisinghot pa ako ng rugby habang kumakanta ng Salbakuta.
Guy: Ang galing mo anak! Keep it up, tatanda ka na katulad ko!
Son: Oo naman tay, idol kita eh! Hay payb!

So my mornings have been nothing but joy for me. Sometimes, I totally feel that there’s a conspiracy to keep my locked in my house so that I don’t pose a danger to little cuddly animals and children.

Have you been in this sort of situation where you’ve been kept in your home, against your free will?

14 Comments

  1. Ade

    [quote comment="120082"]speaking of fixing things, are they finally done with the

    reconstruction of the alabang bridge? or anywhere else in slex

    for that matter? i hope they are although i can't be there to

    actually see it. that poor thing is hardly an expressway.

    [/quote]

    Haven't been down south in ages, but I'm pretty sure they haven't finished construction yet.

  2. ria

    speaking of fixing things, are they finally done with the

    reconstruction of the alabang bridge? or anywhere else in slex

    for that matter? i hope they are although i can't be there to

    actually see it. that poor thing is hardly an expressway.

    rias last blog post..Stuck in Time

  3. YES I DID, KUYA…

  4. Pau

    Stupid Filipinos and their stupid carrabaos.

  5. Ris

    haha riot. i mean, riot yang morning rituals ng mga trabahador diyan. that's actually happening here in my own neighborhood except that the men actually have the decency not to make our streets their homes.

    i just have to suffer through going through another route every single day. i know how crappy you feel.

  6. Ugh. Filipinos and their tendency to hassle everyone by making things that can be accomplished quickly, take longer.

    Whatta sentence.

    I remember when they were fixing up the huge ass pothole and the rest of Xavierville Avenue. They started the process, worked for one week and then took a break for two weeks? So something that could've been fixed in a month or less took FORFUCKINGEVER. Traffic was horrible.

    Helgas last blog post..ANAWANGIN COVE, ZAMBALES.

  7. I know this counts as a very delayed (that's why unappreciated) reaction but nice new layout! 😀

    There's a problem with the pipes in our subdivision as well but I haven't seen any of those pipe guys anywhere.

    mitchs last blog post..A TRIBUTE TO PINOYEXCHANGE.COM

  8. I heard from a very reliable yet mute source that the new pipes are part of an elaborate system to keep you locked in your house.

    The workers' families that moved in next door to you are agents working under cover and that kid throwing rocks at people is more lethal than James Bond.

    So you better be very careful…"Kuya". hahahaahahaha!!1!111!!111

    jhays last blog post..Php33k for Asus Eee PC 900?! I'd get a Compaq notebook instead

  9. Ade

    [quote comment="120068"]so that I don’t pose a danger to little cuddly animals and children.

    WAHAHAHAHAHHAH!! Kuya, you're more harmless than our dagang costa. ;)[/quote]

    D-d-did you just call me… Kuya? O_o

  10. so that I don’t pose a danger to little cuddly animals and children.

    WAHAHAHAHAHHAH!! Kuya, you're more harmless than our dagang costa. 😉

  11. the same thing has been going on in our village. for almost 2 months now! and because we live in one of those places along the service road, we had to deal with one ways too. hopefully, the pipe laying is being done TOGETHER with the "road beautification project" else we'll be putting up with this until the next election.

    cigarette-girls last blog post..i'm missing you. talk to me. it's been a while.

  12. ba

    2 weeks ago habang nagmamaneho ako nahulog ako sa isang hukay diyan sa may Claret. HAHAHA

    bas last blog post..Love You Forever

  13. I had that same experience here like last year I think. They dug up the side of road in order to make way for new big shiny pipes. It was constantly traffic and the streets looked REALLY ugly and unpleasant and made you think, "I can't believe I fucking live in this area." Haha but yknow time will pass and it will go back to the way it was again.

    Hey Ade, I like this post. I don't know why =P

    Juices last blog post..Apparently My Dog Is Overweight

  14. “We don’t just lay pipes, we build lives” – Now that right there is a pick up line!

    avatars last blog post..Boracay Pictures

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: