Ever since I started blogging back in 2003, I have evolved from being an emo/ meme / song lyric poster / comment whore to the kind of blogger I am now (retarded). When I started Noisy Noisy Man back in January, I was determined not to let this blog fall into the trap my LiveJournal (LJ) is in now: a mess. You see, I wanted to turn this site into something like The Sneeze: witty, somewhat retarded, and visited by loads of people. I have so far succeeded on being retarded; in fact, I think I have surpassed The Sneeze on that count.

Another reason I started the Noisy Noisy Man is that I wanted to see just how the real Filipino blogosphere works. I’ve been on LJ for the longest time, and quite frankly, I’ve been turned off it. Being on LJ limits me to the people I have on my “friends list”, and except for a couple of friends, it has turned into brain-numbing emo-land. So logging on to PinoyBlog.com and reading a lot of entries there was quite a different experience. I’m sure most of you who started your blogs filled with angst and graduated to something else know what I’m talking about.

Even though the blogosphere beyond LJ is way better, there are still a few quirks here and there. I have had a close encounter with them quirks the other day, and somehow I lived to tell the tale. So now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present The Clueless Wonders of the Blogosphere.

And yes, I did that very boring intro on purpose.

Clueless Wonder #1:
The Clueless Commenter

Most of the Clueless Commenters are newbies. They will go on any blog, and just say stuff like “I like your site…simple… nice design!” in the middle of a heated discussion on politics on an A-Lister’s blog. Sometimes they are not aware at all that the blogger just used a free template and he doesn’t blog for validation on how their site looks.

Also, Clueless Commenters also don’t know the difference between a TagBoard and a Comment Form. They will just post meaningless gibberish like “you rock!!! m/” on the Comment Form, effectively annoying the hell out of the blogger who is looking for intelligent discourse on his blog.

Clueless Wonder #2:
The Celebrity Stalker

I’ve seen it happen, even on the most popular blogs: the blogger posts some obscure comment on Iya Villania, Toni Gonzaga, Kamikaze, or some other celebrity, and then people will start coming out of nowhere posting something stupid like “Iya, I love you! You’re so pretty poh. Can I meet you in person?” and “I’m Iya’s cousin. Email me at…

Yes, they actually believe that the blog is actually Iya Villania’s, not realizing that http://pimplepopper.fil.ph is NOT http://www.iyavillania.com.

When things can’t get any worse, people who hate the said celebrity will come out of the blue and say “AYAW KOH SI IYA! AMPANGET NYA!” Of course, this will lead to fans of the celebrity to defend their idol, and the said blog entry will degrade into a retarded flame war.

It went so far on one blog that the owner pleaded to bring Batibot back on TV so that his visitors might pick up a thing or two on common sense.

Clueless Wonder #3:
The Validation Junkie

Ok, I admit another reason for blogging is that I like validation. It is, after all, a good feeling to know that people are reading your blog and are putting in sensible comments.

But Validation Junkies are different. They blog solely to boost their waning self-esteem. Validation Junkies are the kids who get praised by their parents for every little thing they do, even though their actions are unworthy of praise. They’d just squiggle two lines on a piece of paper, and their folks would go “What a work of art! Let’s frame this. It’ll be worth a fortune someday.” And they’d actually frame the squiggle. Those kids get that kind of praise every single day. It gets to their heads.

Of course, in the real world, praise doesn’t come that easily, and in order to get their daily dose of praise, those kids utilize their non-existent talents to crate a crappy blog chock-full of blinkies, pointless javascript, mismatched colors, hi-resolution images crammed onto a 200×200 space (not resized, I mean CRAMMED. As in drag the edges to make the image smaller. Imagine how long it’ll take to load.) and other blog crap (See this for details).

They’d spam a million blogs with “Visit mah blog!!! Mah personal pad on the internet!” in order to get praise. Of course sensible bloggers do the right thing and avoid them like the plague, except for a brave few who actually attempt to visit for goodwill.

Funny enough, those blogs are indeed praised, albeit by other validation junkies hoping to get their crappy skills validated as well.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Clueless Wonder #4:
The Otaku

This is also a major reason for me to leave LJ. I used to have a wonderful Friends Page on it, with people who gave interesting and intelligent observations on their daily lives. But of course, people change. Some went on hiatus, some left blogging altogether, and some become Anime Fans (Otaku).

There is nothing wrong being an Otaku. I repeat: there is nothing wrong in being an Otaku. In fact, I do catch an anime or two on TV every now and then and I find them awesome. Just don’t overdo your anime adoration.

Imagine logging on to your LJ and hoping to read up on interesting stuff on your friends’ life, instead you get garbage like “SQUEEEEEE! I got to watch episode # 24 of [insert name of anime here]!!! I am so happy!!! My life is sooooooo complete!!! [insert episode summary here] [insert picture of Otaku at a cosplay convention]” on every single friggin’ entry. How would you feel?

If that isn’t bad enough, every now and then they’d photoshop pictures of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy making sweet love to each other, with accompanying self-penned R-rated story. And plaster it all over their LJ. Sheesh.

The sad thing about it is that they post absolutely nothing else about their lives.

Oh wait, those ARE their lives. My bad.

And did I mention that those Otakus are in their mid-twenties already?

Have you encountered other Clueless Wonders of the Blogosphere? Care to tell me what happened? Comment away!

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