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Rants. Also, Sneezing

So I realized I’ve been ranting too much on this blog. Well, if you did spend the morning commute with some schmuck’s armpit stuck to your face, you’d probably be ranting as much as I would first thing when you open up your blog, but that’s beside the point. You see, I’ve had a few recent complaints about the world that I haven’t blogged about lately, like humongous people (you know, people fatter than me) who block my way when I’m walking in a very narrow alleyway (also, I was late for work too), the girlfriend staying in Bryan Adams territory for a couple of weeks (TMB peeps: your company, with lots of beer to pass the time, is highly appreciated), or the drugstores that put their prettiest salesladies near the condom shelf, ensuing hilarity and judging, piercing stares when I go over and pick up one look at the display out of curiosity.

So since we’re on the subject of ranting, I might as well go on and rant about another thing that’s been bothering me lately: my cold that’s been bothering me for a while now. The weather has been such a bitch to me: Sahara-hot one moment and then raining like crazy the next. A week of the crazy weather and I’m sneezing like crazy with my nose running like it’s in a marathon (HUHLOLZ I MADE A FUNNEY- meh). In fact, my cold was so bad that I even sneezed on a poor girl as I was walking towards the office. Well, she was walking way too fast, I was reaching for my handkerchief, then she hits me from behind. I was so startled I turned in her direction and let out a huge one. Lulz and awkwardness ensue. Also, she was hot. (insert facepalm and mental kick to the shin here)

I’d rather not go into the details with the aftermath, but it involved wiping off a lot of snot, lots of apologies, one testicle almost making its way up my stomach, and with her limping away because of a swollen right big toe.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll cut this rant short to bathe in the rain, and stand in front of an aircon while soaking in rainwater. Then drink beer. It’ll do wonders for my cold, I’m sure.

7 Comments

  1. CM

    Look for the hot girl's blog and you'll find a rant about you.

    <abbr>CM´s last blog post..The Sweetest Shit</abbr>

  2. Ranting = good.

    *hands you a tissue*

    <abbr>Tiffy´s last blog post..Recipe | 15-minute Pasta</abbr>

  3. The next time you feel a sneeze coming on, punch yourself hard in your remaining testicle. I'm not saying that it works, but it's worth a try.

    <abbr>joyfulchicken´s last blog post..To flush or not to flush</abbr>

  4. "one testicle almost making its way up my stomach"

    You talk like you have two. Silly Ade.

    <abbr>Baddie´s last blog post..Hulkified Baddie</abbr>

  5. You poor guy. But now I wouldn't be surprised if agents from the DOH or the CDC would just grab you and throw you in an isolation chamber for a couple of months just to keep the public, women in particular, safe and disease free.

    Now that would something awesome to rant about. LOLZ

    <abbr>jhay´s last blog post..On the case of the De La Salle – Dasma professor arrested for attempted rape</abbr>

    • Ade

      Dude, DOH would probably send me a couple of burly tambay-kantos, dressed in ripped jeans and wife-beaters. They probably haven't bathed in days, and the stench alone would make sure I won't put up a fight.

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