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Pesky Christmas Carolers?

Looking at my calendar, I am surprised that it is already November. It’s almost Christmas, well, it’s the time when all things jolly and bright will take over the streets. You know, lanterns, Christmas trees, lights everywhere, and… Christmas Carolers.

It’s not like I have a problem with Christmas Carolers, or something, but I do find the majority of them… annoying. I mean, who would like to be awakened from the middle of a very sound sleep to some street urchins who do a poor job of impersonating carolers butchering yet another rendition of “We Wish you a Merry Christmas”?

And goodness, they are as annoying as crap. I mean, if they were in tune and actually sounded as if they wanted to sing, I’d love their performance and ask for an encore. But then, they gave a half-hearted performance that’ll even make the deaf cringe. And they have the galls to ask you for money! And call you a stingy grouch if you refuse!

Ok, I’m a stingy grouch alright, but they’re calling me names and hurting my feelings. The stinking bastards.

Holy crap! Enough complaining and time to formulate an action plan!


How I’ll get rid of those pesky kids:

  • I’d take up target shooting, buy a sniper rifle, and bide my time in the second floor bedroom overlooking the front door.
  • I’d buy bear traps and leave a generous amount of them in my front yard.
  • Get my ninja suit out of the mothballs, hide in the tree next to my house and fling bananaque sticks to the kids who pass by.
  • Rabid. Attack. Dog.
  • Lace the candies you give them with poison.
  • Lace the coins you give them with napalm.
  • GOATSE!
  • Read to them, out loud, chapters from K-Fed’s upcoming autobiography.
  • Follow them home, wait until they fall asleep, and then torch the damn place.

No, please don’t think I hate Carolers. No, I don’t. Really. In fact, to make up for the meaningless, heartless and awful banter I put up there, I’ll give you one of my personal favorites. Please do take the time to listen to this wonderful and heartwarming Christmas Carol:


powered by ODEO

So, do you have pesky carolers in your place? How do you get rid of them?

EDIT: Where the hell is everyone?

7 Comments

  1. Your goatse link is spelled wrong. It's "ragingfist.net" 😀

  2. Yup, it's really annoying, especially when they keep forever knocking on the gate and shouting (not singing) on top of their lungs. It's just so obvious that they're just after the money and not really doing it just for the sake of Christmas.

  3. haha. one technique is tell those pesky carolers that you are not catholic or put a big banner saying, "Iglesia ni Cristo followers live here." bwekekeke.

    btw, i wasnt able to go blog hopping and made a big announcement about my dear host's domain going down without even notifying me gahhh because i still have no internet at home. it sucks.

    anyway, you are a big fan of Helga so thanks to her you saw me. lol. i love her. we are friends this tight haha sure. lol.

    take care!

  4. EDIT: Where the hell is everyone?

    I just got out of the alternate Intarnet reality! I'm going back to rescue the others!

    Ade, dude, I think you should tone down on your Xmas-bashing posts. I mean, 'tis the season to be jolly, isn't it? Carollers are here to stay inspite of them being inconsiderate, insincere, monotonous, and…

    Oh crap! To hell with those dawgs!

  5. Last action plan seems the most effective.

    Never had to deal with squatter carolers– that's what older relatives and non-residential quarters are for :D:D

    (Barat =p)

  6. Good thing I inhabit in a village where those annoying nutjobs aren't allowed. Wanna spend the Xmas season here? I'll make you some eggnogs! 🙂

    WTF that was ear-bleeding! I'm off to an ear doctor! Kthnxbye.

  7. was that a real Christmas song? all i could understand was “bulbol”! hahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahaha ah shit i’m laughing all by myself

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