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MRT: An Odoriferous (Mis)Adventure

I totally hate the MRT. I really do. Okay, I appreciate the fact that it’s the quickest and cheapest way to go through EDSA. And if not for the MRT I’d probably be stuck in traffic every morning, cursing the high heavens for it. And probably commit homicide or something.


Fig 1: Mr. T. This is NOT the MRT

But sometimes, the MRT is just hellish.


Fig 2: The Seventh Circle of Hell

Anyway, once I got to the MRT today, it was absofuckingloutely jampacked (well, as always) that I had to squeeze in between a fat hairy guy and a pregnant woman. In between plucking the guy’s arm hair and playfully jabbing the pregnant woman’s stomach, I tried to stand in a way that actually feels remotely comfortable. By “remotely comfortable” I mean “the bodily contortion which is least painful and would not result in broken bones and an erection”.

Then we stopped by the Cubao Station.

I swear, there’s something about the people who ride in Cubao. The train is already fucking full, and they insist on pushing the hyperventilating old man to make way for them. Okay, they’re in a bad location, they’ve been probably waiting for a chance to get in a train because every single train that passes by is already full, so they’re in a bad mood and they don’t care if somebody loses an eye or something. Totally understandable.


Fig 3: Cubao Orcs

But please, fellow commuters, can you take a bath? Really. Please take a fricking bath.

You see, these guys would ride the train reeking of week-old sweaty t-shirts and smoke. As if being stuck with them in a claustrophobic environment wasn’t bad enough, they would make sure that they’d rub the essence of stink all over you.

And there’s this guy who smelled like he basked in the smoke of car exhaust very early in the morning. And there’s this one who makes it a point to point his armpits at the general direction of the nearest nose.


Fig 4: A typical day at the MRT commute

What the fuck are you guys thinking anyway? If it’s “what’s the best way to piss everyone off so early in the morning? I KNOW! Don’t take a bath for a month, stand in the sun, and stink up the MRT? That’s awesome. Imma win me a nobel prize or something! YAY!” I will hunt you down myself and stick a deodorant up your right nostril.

Oh, just in case you don’t know how, taking a bath is actually quite easy. You just throw a lot of water at yourself, soap yourself, and rinse. That’ll get rid of stink any time.

At the risk of sounding like an elitist snob, I have to say that there are people like me who do not appreciate the fresh smell of sweaty armpit so early in the morning. I’m willing to bet that 90% of MRT commuters don’t like various offensive body odors being thrown their way.

Now excuse me while I resume jabbing that pregnant woman.

What are your MRT horror stories?

19 Comments

  1. I know that feeling and I've been in that situation too. I don't know if I would rather get off and ride again later just to get of it. XDXD

    Euri's last blog post..Room Cleaning

  2. Tsinitoboy

    That is nothing in comparison to a bus ride in Dubai. A bus full of Indians and Pakistanis is like hell raised to nth power. Twice I had vomited after that hell of a ride.

    • mimimi

      racist much??

      • Tsinitoboy

        I'm not a racist, but it's a sad truth that most people from those two countries really smell bad (surpassing even the most pungent B.O. stricken kabayan that you may know). From the labor class up to the educated ones; I once had an Indian lady as an officemate you can smell from 5 meters away. Having her company inside the lift (elevator) is like entering a gas chamber (again, I puked afterwards).

  3. Mr.T is scary!

  4. I agree. Cubao peeps have something about them. It's been ages since I've ridden the MRT and I didn't find it pleasant then. What more now. Good luck. Hehe.

  5. Reading this made me remember one of my MRT experiences wherein I was beside a woman whose hair was terribly swarmed with LICE! I didn't see it at first until my attention drifted to her hair. Squirmy little lice seemed to be enjoying running oh so wildly in her hair. Their eggs were noticeable in her hair strands as well. Panicked, I immediately walked towards the other end of the train. I was so paranoid about the possibility that some of them would want another place to live and decide to fly into my hair. Hahaha!

    That's like the grossest thing I've ever seen in the MRT so far.

    mitch's last blog post..HEY, IT’S MY BIRTH MONTH!

  6. I don't have any horror story to share but for me, MRT is one of the scariest places. 1) Lagi akong natatakot na maipit ang paa ko sa pintuan. 2) Lagi akong natatakot na hindi ako makababa kagad lalo na 'pag madami ang tao at kelangan kong makapunta kagad sa pinto.

    scary. lol

    Pero, at least, Ade, wala ka sa France, mas mabaho dun. weeee! :p

    Laarni's last blog post..The WG-Sketch

  7. A friend of mine once had one of his slippers fall through the gap between the train and the platform. We all laughed at him of course.

    joyfulchicken's last blog post..I can has securiteh?

  8. jet

    I try to avoid the Cubao,Buendia,Ayala and Taft station during rush hours.

  9. I'm just glad we have the 1 train for women/children.

    It's not 1st class or anything — sometimes it still comes close enough to be the 7th circle of hell… but in comparison to the other carriages, it's like HEAVEN. 🙂

    Jewel's last blog post..Dream on.

  10. it would be quite an adventure though to be able to sneak into the women's coach. Oooooh! Like putting rooster in the henhouse. Hahahaha.

    virus's last blog post..Myriad of Thoughts Vol 2 Series 3

  11. Heard of similar stories from friends before but never really experienced it myself. Perhaps I should stand next to you in the MRT to smell for my self. Wait, that didn't turn out right….

    Anyways, my own horror story, well I was actually a witness to it, was when a guy who boarded the train from Ayala station but the train was already crammed full he had to tuck in his beer belly (no pun intended)just to fit in.

    Problem was his mobile phone, a Sony Ericsson Walkman phone, that was hung on his neck by a lace was left dangling outside the MRT doors! At first I felt worried for the guy because the phone could snag something and either strangle or decapitate him just two feet away from me, and in the morning MRT rush!

    But we all had a good laugh when the crowd waiting at the Buendia Station was dumb-struck when the train slowed down along with the dangling mobile phone in front of them. It was as if a price from heaven (or Ayala station) just stopped by up for grabs.

    I swear, the guy was worried that someone would grab the his phone while the MRT doors were still closed. Lucky for him, everyone outside managed to control themselves. LOLZ

  12. mhats

    my first time to actually ride the MRT to go to makati during rush hour was utter hell.everyone was so friggin civilized while waiting for the train, but the second it arrives, all hell breaks loose.holy crap, i did not need to go to the gym that day,early morning sweating in the MRT is almost if not equal to a session of Pilates. swapping bodily fluids, sooo not part of my agenda that day. argh.. and oh, ade? the cubao peeps really are kinda funky. hahah.just to let u know they dont just have orcs there 😀

  13. look at the brighter side…you were not groped! 😀

    chris's last blog post..Reflection…

  14. Contrary to popular belief, the women's coach in the MRT isn't as fun to ride or as easier to ride as they planned it. Women + crowded coach = mataray women. Not fun. 😛

    Tina's last blog post..The Survey for People Who Make Websites

  15. Deodorant companies should give free giveaway deodorants to people who smell like shoes in MRT.

    avatar's last blog post..New Blog Series: One Word Wednesdays

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