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Impress Girls the David Hasselhoff Way

After seriously causing the end of my social life the other day I looked back on my life and I realized that I am an expert on making myself look like a fool in public. Especially in front of the opposite sex. I have a girlfriend already, but remembering my klutziness I sought to see if there was a way to help the other socially-impared klutzes out there. Guess what I found out.

Yes, HIM.

David Hasselhoff is an expert on being manly. And manliness is the ultimate thing to attracting girls. The internet has a treasure trove of images that will just prove how manly he is, and I hope you all pick up a thing or two about being manly from these pictures.

Hump a Giant Pepsi Bottle

Because nothing would get a woman’s heart racing faster than humping a giant Pepsi Bottle ala-Elvis.

Sing. Dance.

I cannot add anything more to this to make it more ridiculous.

Rape Puppies

Look at his eyes. Those eyes say “I’m raping puppies. You’re next!”

When you go home at night, strip naked, and put an ugly wrinkled puppy on your crotch. Yep, girls will salivate over you.

Use “Hoff Soap”

I guess you need no explanation on this one. Just get some hoff soap, rub it all over your face, and you’ll be irresistible to girls.

It’s the pheromones, baby.

Self-Hypnosis

Maybe it’s all too complicated for you, so I’m giving you a little bonus: below is a self-hypnosis guide. I assure you you’ll be feeling mightily manly afterwards.

1. Stare at picture
2. Be overwhelmed by The Hoff
3. Be manly!

Must… not… look… away… ooh, manly…

Just follow these simple steps and you’ll be on your way to become Cassanova. Enjoy Valentine’s Day with your newfound manliness!

19 Comments

  1. A little Hoff trivia for you all. He lost his right testicle filming the pilot for Knight Rider. Another piece of trivia, He still has two testicles…. How you might ask? He was born with three.

  2. Tee

    I had no idea there was so much to learn from Knight Rider!

    Awesome. Simply awesome.

    Tee's last blog post..Mind Over Irritable Bowel Syndrome

  3. What the cuff? That is hilarious!!! Darn David Hasselhoff. If all men were like him, I think I'll just die single. Hahaha

  4. aNI

    Ahhhh, its so wonderfull that you included the puppy picture. Now you have to add the new song that just came out. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836

    That will complete the lesson on cool.

  5. David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist! Still, if you want to be teh manly, have a HasselhOverload.

    :p

  6. Holy freakin WOW! Im now a hasselhoffian! So good to be a convert!

  7. Favorite ko rin yung Knightrider nung bata ako. Buti na lang hindi ako naging bading.

  8. ang cute ng hoff soap. 😉

  9. oh i just know now that he endorsed PEPSI huh? was that old? coz i had a project before…and i had to know all the pepsi celebrities endorsers INTERNATIONAL like Britney Spears, Spice Girls, Michael and Janet Jackson, Ricky Martin, F4, Beyonce, Pink, Enrique Iglesias, Shakira…. and the list goes on…

  10. wahahaha! pero nong kasikatan ni knight rider, grabe! nababaliw nga mga girls sa kanya .

  11. ade

    [Comment ID #109 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I used to watch Knight Rider when I was in kinder. argh.

    [Comment ID #107 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Thanks for the visit!:)

    [Comment ID #105 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Did you feel manlier afterwards?

    [Comment ID #102 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Teh Hoff Soap is the epitome of his manliness.

    [Comment ID #104 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Totoo ang anti-spam ko. =P

  12. The sad thing it, I used to have a childhood crush on David Hasselhoff during his Knightrider days! If you want to be like him, you should definitely skip the whole taking naked pictures with dogs! LOL

  13. hahahaha!

    my god! that hypnotising image has messed with my mind.

    i now have this sudden urge to watch Baywatch.

    Great site!! 😛

  14. Very interesting entry, I suddenly remembered the David Hasselhoff joke made in Ben Stiller' movie "Dodgeball". 😀

    PS

    ang kulit ng anti-spam mo, asteeg!

  15. OMG OMG, I wasn't warned earlier of probable seizures. Lol, pictures get more intense as the end gets near.

  16. pucha, tol. inuuto mo lang yata kami jan sa antispam mo eh. hehehe. after reading your david hasselhoff blog, it inspired me to go ahead and write my highschool memories thingy. (Who would ever forget his knight rider stint.)

  17. what da? ehehhehe. don’t look at them, Darwin. 😀
    hey Ade. Happy vday!! *blushes*

  18. Ndi ko alam yung Hoff Soap! ROFLMAO!!!~

  19. hahahahaha 😀
    manliness in pictures :p

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