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I Love Spoons. *giggle*

A few weeks ago, Filipinos were up in arms over the comments of a Canadian principal who apparently thinks it is not normal to eat with a spoon. The principal, Normand Bergeron, said:

“I want them to eat correctly with respect for others who are eating with them… It is not the way you see people eat every day. I have never seen somebody eat with a spoon and a fork at the same time.”

Isn’t it enough that Canada inflicted the scourge of Bryan Adams upon us? Why look down on our table manners as well?

But I won’t go into a mindless rage and burst into a chorus of “Blame Canada” while spewing retarded trash like “CANADIAN NAZI PIGZ I H8 UR GUTZ! DIEDIEDIE!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!111oneoneone” on message boards. I won’t even ask that the said principal come over here so we “disgusting” Filipinos can stab him to death with a spoon. Bryan Adams, maybe, but not Mr. Bergeron.

No siree, I’ll go down the high road.

Maybe he just doesn’t know what we use spoons for. And this, my dear countrymen, is my chance to contribute to global unity and understanding by explaining to the whole world what exactly do we do with our spoons.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Joys of The Spoon!

Spoons are the most awesomest thing evar. As I have mentioned earlier, we stab our enemies with them. We may not be ninjas, but we have spoons. Ninjas have no way of defeating anyone wielding a spoon. Even the Mystical Bananaque’s power pales in comparison of the awesomeness of the spoon. Imagine: a ninja, holding a glowing bananaque, charges a spoon-wielding child. The child doesn’t even look up. When the ninja is inches away from the seemingly doomed kid, the child just does one barely visible swipe of his spoon…


*swipe*

And the ninja is down on the dust with a bleeding nose. The spoon does it again!

Of course the ninja’s very life is at the child’s hands. But the child, showing mercy and maturity beyond his years, drops the spoon, grabs and eats the bananaque, and leaves the ninja contemplating why he wasn’t worthy enough to be killed.

Take THAT, you ninja.

Don’t ask me why a ninja wants to do harm upon an innocent spoon-wielding child. It’s beyond me. I just want to demonstrate the awesomeness of the spoon.

Spoons are gonna be handy at those emo conventions, right?

Have you ever tried to play tennis with spoons instead of racquets?

No? You’re missing a lot, then. It’s a real challenge. Spoon-tennis requires lots of skills. You have to be fast and be strong enough so that the spoon catches the ball. And you have to practice lots and lots of self-control so you don’t accidentally kill your tennis buddy. We’re handling dangerous weapons here, you know.

Also, spoons make wonderful sunglasses.

See? He looks absolutely dreadful awesome in that summer getup. However, I don’t recommend doing this because you will run the risk of falling in open manholes and be eaten by the large albino alligator that lives underground. Awesomeness doesn’t substitute for stupidity, you know.

Oh wait, he’s got a spoon. He’ll survive. Poor alligator.

So now you have to respect us spoon-lovin’ Pinoys. We use the most dangerous eating utensil practically everyday. We even put it in our mouths! We risk life and limb everyday. Just to eat.

That’s awesome.


What else can you tell the world about them awesome spoons? Now’s your chance! Comment away!

44 Comments

  1. hmmm.. after pamie.com lambasted jollibee, here comes another Western snafu… can't we just all get along??? that principal should have a spoon drove up his ass…

  2. haha. kakatuwa naman. sleeping like spoons. haha.

  3. naasar ako dun sa principal. arrgh.

    he doesn't know the power of the spoon.

  4. kamusta naman sa kuwenton kutsara? haha… madami palang pwedeng gawin dito, ako kasi pangkain lang talaga ang tingin ko diyan.. gaaad! ano ung spoon sa unang pic? jargon* nakaka-disturb ung larawan!

  5. I got to read about what the principal said to the 7-year old pinoy kid and it actually made my blood boil: "If your son eats like a pig, he has to go to another table because this is the way we do it. Here in Canada, you should eat the way Canadians eat." Di ba nakakagigil yon. There was a point raised about differences in cultures and that for a person to be assimilated, he or she must accept the values of the adopted country, but in this case, I guess he just went too far (even comparing us to pigs). I think his insensitivity and disrespect for cultures make him the real pig in the story.

  6. i didn't know about that Canadian's comments prior to reading this entry. it's obvious that this guy is ignorant. and how is it disrespectful to other people if you use a spoon the same time with a fork? that principal should be charged with discrimination. he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. poor kid.

  7. That Canadian school principal is one helluva ignoramous, to think that he possesses the prestige of Western education. In short, he's a piece of chicken sh*t. Sheesh.

    Haha. Agassi playing tennis with a spoon. That's more like it!

  8. There is no spoon.

  9. [Comment ID #1300 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Wow. That's so random.

    I'm so glad the spoon survived!!!!11oneoneone

  10. How do you enjoy bulalo, tinola, sinigang, mami, batchoy without a spoon?

    How do you enjoy eating seafoods or daing or tuyo with a fork?

    sige nga… kainis ang principal.

  11. spoon a poop for canadian principals. yey!

    okaii, that sounds awful but porn stars love this.

  12. [Comment ID #1331 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Har dee har!

    I'll be good, promise.

  13. [Comment ID #1321 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Oh my god! Snark attack!

    Oh its just Squid!

  14. tatawagin ko si flying spaghetti monster para magrevenge at magdadala narin ako ng weapon,bananaque. tsk tsk

  15. Hi, it's me again from Feel Good Blog. I'm gonna link up your blog in my site. Hope you don't mind. Just holler if you object.

  16. Uri Geller called. He wants his spoons back.

  17. There's this group I've met before that made actual sunglasses out of spoons. It looked psychedelic. Like it was from an Alien movie. I found it very cool. But that was in the late 90s. I dunno if cool then is still cool now.

  18. ade

    [Comment ID #1294 Will Be Quoted Here]

    No, but we can scoop their eyes out. Ain't that awesome?

  19. Tam

    I have read that article on the net some days (or was it a week?) ago.

    Nakakagulat that this happened in Canada, a country that follows multiculturalism than assimilation. I heard that, after that incident, ayaw na kumain nung bata. Natrauma. 🙁

  20. [Comment ID #1304 Will Be Quoted Here]

    FYI, Canadians eat by way of intravenously absorbing food from a suspended dextrose bottle. That's how decent they are compared to other nationalities.

  21. ade that image with the guys spooning will forever haunt me.

    i don't even wanna ask where you got it from.

    😛

  22. i won’t be surprised if the school monitor would segregate a korean student because he eats with chopsticks AND a spoon.

    i’m sure that cultural tolerance argument ek-ek would never end.

  23. I can't imagine not using a spoon and fork at the same time. I wonder, for this really baffles me, how the heck do Canadians eat? I'm not really aware of their eating habits.

  24. butchie

    I can't believe you didn't like my blog. Most gay guys think it's cool. Give it another chance, buddy. Really.

    Butch

  25. ade

    [Comment ID #1303 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Well, seeing how gay your blog is, I’m not surprised.

  26. Hey, didn't the principal said "Don't eat like a pig!". The mother should've replied in a Nora Aunor's fashion of saying "My son is not a PIG!".

  27. i remember a short story about the

    "the ugly barnacle and the big spoon"

    once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle, he was so ugly and everyone died (except the spoon) the end…

  28. This is one of your best! 🙂 I suggest you send this post to them…

  29. Spoons also cause sudden bursts of anger and rage from people who give their hair regular doses of static electricity before going to bed, remember jack nicholson's character from Adam Sandler's movie "Anger Management"?

    I bet not even the incredible hulk could stop anyone who's been enticed to go out on a pyschotic rampage induced by a spoon.

  30. But you can poke someone's eye with chopsticks! That's why Chinese also use them as weapons sometimes!

    Can you do that with a spoon?

  31. [Comment ID #1282 Will Be Quoted Here]

    –now this what we call a SPOON!!! bwahahaha!!!!

  32. ade

    [Comment ID #1280 Will Be Quoted Here]

    No! We're supposed to eat right out of the plate! Like dogs!

  33. ade

    [Comment ID #1288 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Dude, stay away. You're scaring me.

  34. I know about that issue, heard about it in TV Patrol. Gosh, the poor kid didn't even like to go back to that school, or eat, because of what he's principal have done to him!! Tsk tsk. Pati ba naman sa bata hindi ligtas sa pagdidiscriminate!

    HAHAH! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the pics you used! Laughtrip! hahahah :))

  35. After seeing the multiple-spoon-orgy-woo-hoo! picture above, nothing else in the article mattered.

    What's funny is, I feel my underpants a wee tighter right now.

  36. rob

    that racist should be spooned to death until he realize in the afterlife the wonderful "Joys of the Spoon!"

  37. koreans eat with spoons and chopsticks. ade, idol kita talaga..you blog so well! 😀

  38. Ang laki naman ng spoon na yun!

  39. yen

    gaga ung principal na yun eh.. buti nga d nagkamay ung bata e edi mas nag freak out cia hehe.. nakakaawa ung bata kc natrauma sa experience na yun! katawa naman ung 2nd pic.. puro lalaki ah haha…

  40. If I remeber correctly, the vocalist of Jeepney Joyride has spoon spectacles.. or maybe I was already drunk when they were playing their set.

  41. LOL

    if I haven't read this post, hindi ko malalaman na may issue na pala pati sa paggamit natin ng spoon & fork at the same time.

    i mean, DUH!

    why make it a big deal? when in fact, we never fuss about Chinese using chopsticks whenever they eat.

    corny nila ha!

    btw, another spoon? this one: <img src="http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/2286/mn02spoon0va.gif"/&gt;

    Have a nice day! *hugs*

    Cheers,

    Airah

  42. YOU BARBARIANS!

    Everyone knows the civilized way to eat is a. with your fingers or b. with chopsticks. :p

  43. Toe

    So funny… hahaha!… And Bryan Adams…. Hahahahahaha! BTW, a lot of Asians eat with spoons, not just Pinoys… including Cambodians.

  44. Go SPOON!

    Yeah I read about the article. Hahaha. I almost felt bad for that principal. He had no idea what spoons are for…

    Hey maybe you can send this post to him so you can at least educate him about the "beauty of spoons."

    Hahaha…

    *dito me work. la magawa. argh!

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