Down The Highway, Featured Post

Down The Highway: An Advice Column for Emos – 8

NOTE: All editions of Down the Highway can be found here.

Dear DtH,

My emo band, “The Eye Liners“, broke up. This made me sad(der) because I seriously don’t know how to live without them. I swear, nobody can make me feel just as miserable as they do. They introduced me to the wonderful world of misery- they showed me that no matter how comfortable life can get, I still have a reason to be depressed. Even if I just make it up. Also, they showed me how to cut my hair like somebody ran a lawn mower through it, and how to dress in black (and only black).

We fought over a small thing – who gets to cry the most. And I won the contest. And they cried and swore that they’ll never see me again and that our band is through. Afterwards, I never saw them again. It’s quite possible that I can’t see them because my eyes are so swollen and I can’t see a thing, but you get my drift.

What do I do DtH? What do I do? How can I be as lonely as I used to?

– xX_e~M~o_s1nG3r_Xx

Dear xX_e~M~o_s1nG3r_Xx,

So I just saw a picture of your band:


Emo is not a gay

And yeah, you have every right to be miserable. Well, I don’t know what to tell you on how to be truly miserable again. Except maybe to look in a mirror. Yeah. That’d work.

***

Dear DtH,

I do not know why
But I am so obliged
To share this with you
Oh this pain
It lies in my heart
It never goes away
My life is miserable
I disappear into
The dark night of lonliness
Goodbye.

– Poet in Pain

Dear Poet in Pain,

What the hell
Are you trying to convey?
Also, writing in verses
Does not
Make you a poet

What are you so damn
Miserable about?
Just because you
Have an ugly mug
Doesn’t give you
Any right to be sad
Oh wait
Yes it does.
Nevrmind.

Thanks by the way to Midori for the pictures. Don’t ask where she got them. You don’t wanna know.

Lost? Need advice? Send me your emo letters here!

17 Comments

  1. jae

    There are a hell lot of things that make life miserable other than the way you look.,like kitten murderers.

  2. Okay. That kittie is just too much of a cutie.

    So, hey! I rhymed. Does that make me a poet?

  3. Ade

    [quote comment="71357"]i never knew you had an advice column for emos… now i know who to ask when i…oops..[/quote]

    YAY!

    [quote comment="71464"]Hurray for Emo Hair! Woohoo!!![/quote]

    And emo eyeliner! w00t!

  4. Every girl would want to have a boyfriend who emos like hell… Wait, is that Rico Blanco ba?

  5. Hurray for Emo Hair! Woohoo!!!

  6. Someone needs a happy pill! Haha.

  7. Cute kitty.

    Uy boyband!!!!111

  8. i never knew you had an advice column for emos… now i know who to ask when i…oops..

  9. Ade

    [quote comment="71260"]Too short, man. You need some GoatsEx in it. :D[/quote]

    Wait, does this mean the return of the GoatsEx?

  10. Ade

    [quote comment="71328"]

    And more mascara. Kitties with mascara on.[/quote]

    LIEK THIS?

    <img src="http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/8908/emocatnd1.jpg"/&gt;

  11. [quote comment="71187"]This article needs kitties.[/quote]

    And more mascara. Kitties with mascara on.

  12. RJ

    Dear DtH,

    Life sux.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    myhairisn'temoit'skorean2000

    PS. A cat is fine too~

  13. Too short, man. You need some GoatsEx in it. 😀

  14. Pau

    No. I just like kitties.

  15. Ade

    [quote comment="71187"]This article needs kitties.[/quote]

    Translation: this article sucked?

  16. Dear DtH:

    They say I don't have much of a life if it weren't for my online persona. So… um… I forgot what to type in next. Sry.

    More power to you!

    XOXOXO

    simplymeh000003

  17. Pau

    This article needs kitties.

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