Down The Highway, Featured Post

Down the Highway – An Advice Column for Emos – 2

Dear DtH,

I have never been in a relationship ever. EVER!

Is it because I wear more eyeliner than them girls or that I have this thick eyeglasses than magnifies my tears 1090968x as the usual? It hurts!

The world is against me and I will cut myself tonight again but not too much so that I’ll live and people will know how sad my life is and will pity me. Aaagh… f*ck romance! *slits wrists*

xxEmoBoi78xx

Dear xxEmoBoi78xx,

You make me proud. Just keep on hating yourself, the world, and all other crap out there. If you work hard enough, they’ll pity you, I’m sure. What they’ll do with a loser like you I’m not sure. But I’m sure that you’ll get a mighty fine scar on your wrists that’ll scream “NUTCASE”. That’s gonna be a fine trophy to carry for the rest of your life.


***

Dear DtH,

Why oh why is the world cruel? I mean, my girlfriend left me for another guy. It’s all her fault. She’s a liar. I mean, it’s her damn fault why I had three other girlfriends.

I know she just wants me to die, but I’ll beat her to it!

Killing me, of course.

In fact, I’ve been cutting myself all week just to prove it. Now I have to write a song to provide me an outlet for my pain!

– hurting_insyde

Dear hurting_insyde,

Have you ever considered using this to cover up your scars? It’s totally perfect. And yeah, blame everything that happens to your life on everyone else. That would be perfect, because your conscience would be clean. Wear black though. It would be the perfect indicator of your conscience’s purity.

Oh, are you crying now?

Sissy.

___

View Part One Here.


Got problems? Really? So do I. You may email me your emo-ness, though, at: noisynoisyman [at] gmail [dot] com

24 Comments

  1. Dan

    That's hilarious. Lots of people cut their wrists, even for non-emo reason. Some think it's cool. My sister's 16-year-old classmates do it thinking it makes them look cool and I can't help but laugh my ass off. According to one Oprah episode (shoot me for watching it. haha), 50% of women who cut their wrists have been molested as kids. Now that doesn't really sound cool, does it? LOL.

  2. this post reminds me of a batchmate in high school who used to go around telling the whole school that she slashed herself and then came to class one day with band aid on her wrists. when her friends lifted up the band aid– ngek!! wala namang sugat!?

    now that is more pathetic than puny emo-ness. hehe.

  3. ade

    [Comment ID #711 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Get yourself an emopad! Quick!!!

  4. ie

    dth or no dth, you kinda are good in giving advices. thanks.

    and yes, i was emo. and i was bleeding. ha! :]

  5. ade

    [Comment ID #708 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Emo pads are… just something for emos. Nothing more. 😛

  6. aaron

    okay, to no avail. di ko pa rin alam ang emo pad.

  7. aaron

    i should google emo pads. -_-

  8. Emo Pads. Haha. I know some people who need that.

  9. I remember my emo friend. She tried to cut her wrist too many times for me to count. Brrr, the marks, I cannot bear to look at them. Maybe I’ll suggest your site to her. Haha! :>

  10. [Comment ID #702 Will Be Quoted Here]
    oo nga noh? gay? hhahaha.

  11. Dear DtH,

    I hate you for hating emo! Die! Die!

    I'd love to see your wrists bleed. When you're finally suicidal, call me I'd slash them for you!

    …of course, I'm just kidding.

    Sweetskittles

  12. ade

    [Comment ID #686 Will Be Quoted Here]

    they are available at your friendly sari-sari store.

    [Comment ID #688 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Emo Pads should pay me for advertising their stuff.

    [Comment ID #690 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I wonder what'll they come up with next?

    [Comment ID #693 Will Be Quoted Here]

    huh?

    [Comment ID #695 Will Be Quoted Here]

    Exactly. That's why I have an advice column for them emos.

  13. aby

    that was good!

  14. oh wait. the thing in the picture’s a guy? wtf

  15. what’re emo pads anyway? lol

  16. Cutting yourself just because a girl left you is stupid.

  17. yen

    puro dear dth na lang entry mo nakakatuwa pa.. aside shmpre sa stalker mo ah haha…

  18. May emo pads na rin pala. Akala ko hanggang pagtakip lang ng mga tsikinini ang meron. hekhekhek

  19. Emo pads…I've been looking for those my entire life! Sweet!

    Thanks DtH!

  20. Real funny, Ade! Heey~ how can I get those cute little avatars that appear whenever someone makes a comment? I WANT ONE!!! Hahaha.

  21. rob

    uhm, where do I order these emo pads? i'm so hurting insyde too! bleargh! 😉

  22. Emo pads to cover up scars??? Such lovely invention. Haha!

  23. I like the blame it on someone else part and this column is starting to get serious…'love it!

  24. Wear black though. It would be the perfect indicator of your conscience’s purity.

    Ehehe.. 😉

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