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Bugsy The Talking Bunny

Random memory from 18 years ago:

Apparently, I thought I was born in the year of the rabbit and had a strange obsession with the animal. Hell, I even thought my buck teeth were indicative of the fact that I am a rabbit made man (let’s keep away from the awkward furry implications from that last statement and we’d all be happy campers, people). Anyway, this strange obsession with rabbits made 7-year old me go hop around the house and make rabbit noises. This apparently drove my folks crazy, because next thing I knew they bought me a big white rabbit. No, really, the rabbit was fucking huge.

Now before you go on and tell me “Awww that’s so cute! Your parents are so nice! I want a widdle bunny for a pet too,” let me point something out here. I was under the delusion that I was a rabbit. I was driving my parents crazy. They were probably thinking “Oh really, rabbit? Well, let me tell you something about rabbits: they’re smelly, they eat nothing but vegetables, if they bite you die of rabies, they shit all over the place… heck, they fuck like there’s no tomorrow! You want to be a rabbit, eh? Well, here’s a rabbit. Let’s see how you like it. And maybe you’ll abandon your rabbit ways and try being human for once.”

Okay, maybe they’re really not thinking that way, but what the heck. Anyway, I called the rabbit “Bugsy”. The world probably thought I was being cute and all and I ran out of creative ideas and named the stupid rabbit after Bugs Bunny, but I really named him after Bugsy Siegel.

Also, my rabbit talked to me. No, really. Now before you go and call the cops and lock me up because I was doped up on acid when I was seven, hear me out. The rabbit really talked to me. It was in a high-pitched voice. Okay, so the rabbit only spoke to me when my dad was around, and its voice was coming from the general direction of my dad, but it didn’t matter. My rabbit talked to me!

Yeah. Like that.

Yeah. Like that.

So after a couple of weeks of me and the rabbit having great bonding time (running hopping around the garage, eating carrots, carrying the rabbit around everywhere), I was pretty proud of my talking rabbit. One day a friend of my dad came over. My dad wasn’t around, so while waiting for him, I decided to show off my talking rabbit.

ME: Look at my rabbit!
DAD’S FRIEND: I see it.
ME: It walks!
DAD’S FRIEND: I’m sure it does.
ME: It talks!
DAD’S FRIEND: I’m sure it- what?
DAD’S FRIEND: I– uh. Okay.
ME: No, really!
DAD’S FRIEND: Okaaaaay. Make it talk.

I grab Bugsy the talking bunny, and coax it to talk.

ME: Come on Bugsy, talk for me. Show off your talking skills!
DAD’S FRIEND: You see, he ain’t talking.
ME: No, wait, he talks! He’s… he’s… shy.
DAD’S FRIEND: I’m sure. Now if I slowly start to walk away from you, don’t be offended ok? I’m after my safety here.
ME: Wait!

Then in an act of desperation, I mimic the rabbit’s voice.

ME: (high-pitched voice) Oh hello there good sir! I’m Bugsy, Ade’s white fat rabbit!
DAD’S FRIEND: Y- you see, you’re not doing a good job playing ventriloquist there, son. I can see your lips moving.
ME: (innocent look) What the heck are you talking about? (switching to rabbit voice) I can talk! I’m a rabbit and I can talk!
ME: (rabbit voice) I can talk! Come oooon!
DAD’S FRIEND: Okay, I’ll just… stay behind this… wall, this strong, protective wall, and just call me when you need me, ok?

So starts my reputation as that weird kid who sits at the corner, who loves to eat carrot sticks raw, and who talks to rabbits. I live a charmed life.

What about you guys? Do you have weird animal experiences (sexual or otherwise) when you were kids?


  1. I had a pet turtle. It ran away. Really.

    <abbr>joyfulchicken´s last blog post..Saddest email ever</abbr>

  2. I only have an iguana for a pet. XD

    And I don't like animals. XD

    <abbr>Euri´s last blog post..Keir</abbr>

  3. Ann

    That was kinda sad. *pats lil Ade-bunny*

    Most of my pets were plants. The animals I shared with my younger sister. She took care of them, I petted them every once in a while.

    <abbr>Ann´s last blog post..Lemonade</abbr>

  4. CM

    Why did I not read a "What's up Doc?" reference anywhere in this blog?


  5. I tied used to tie a salagubang's legs and hold the string while I walk making the salagubang fly beside me. I called them insecticon. ikr?

    <abbr>avatar´s last blog post..83. Cheating 101: Lesson One</abbr>

  6. make rabbit sounds? what are rabbit sounds?

    are you sure you were imitating rabbit?

  7. HAHA!

    No weird animal stories during my childhood. It's because I was deathly afraid of all animals back then. Even of dogs, which ironically, I love so much today. 😀

    <abbr>Mitch´s last blog post..IT’S SHOWTIME!</abbr>

  8. emoslut

    HOLY SHEEEET!!!1 so rabbit bites give rabies? I didn't know that!! I had a rabbit when I was a kid and he used to bite me a lot! Id just pick him up and give him a shake for being such a bad bunny.

    That's why I like this blog coz of the important infos I get. Maybe instead of giving me rabies he transferred some of his rabbit traits on me that's why I like my carrots raw. hmmm ill try jumping later and maybe I'd join the olympics or something…

  9. But Bugsy died 🙁

    <abbr>Helga´s last blog post..WELL, I GUESS THAT MAKES ME BORING.</abbr>

  10. Swear to god I was laughing through your entire entry. 😀

    I had an imaginary friend. I was convinced she was my guardian angel. And her name was Jewelry. Yes. I was a weird kid, too. *highfive*

    <abbr>Jewel´s last blog post..Coffee Conversations and a Commercial</abbr>

    • Ade

      I also had an imaginary friend, I called him "Pop-Eye".

      … I make up very imaginative names, no?

  11. Lol Ade! :)) normally i would be the type to go back in time and hug that poor kid, lulz, but that was hilarious :)). Yay for Bugsy Siegel reference, tho! 🙂

    <abbr>toni´s last blog post..Extremely loud and incredibly close:

    Some things:

    ? I have a GWA…</abbr>

  12. Haha! My name is Bugsy, also named after Bugsy Siegel. Katukayo ko rabbit mo! Also, my band's name is Kuneho.

    <abbr>cockybastard´s last blog post..OO, NANUOD AKO NG HIGHSCHOOL MUSICAL 3!</abbr>

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