If you’ve noticed, I’m having a drought of posts that are, well, coherent. My posts are either half-baked attempts to be funny or just plain lame. I’m talking lameness up to the point of being retarded. Yes, I’m always bragging that this here blog is “Your Daily Dose of Retard“, but you wouldn’t be reading REALLY retarded blogs, won’t you?
Wait, don’t answer that question. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if you answer with “Why yes, I love to read REALLY retarded blogs. In fact, your blog is a great example.”
I don’t think I should be posting right now, because I know I’m just posting more lameness than what is legally allowed, but I just have to post this for sanity’s sake.
Thing is, I’ve been suffering from a bad case of Blogger’s Block lately. As in the “make you stop in the middle of writing and hate yourself and your ancestors for five generations straight for your worthless writing skills” type. I’ve been trying real hard to rack my brains for a really good topic, but the best I could come up with is that entry on Karaoke. And that painfully unfunny “I’m Back/HAX0R” post.
And don’t you tell me that it’s just a blog, and that I’ll get over it. You see, according to the picture of the creepy smiling guy on the right, Teh Internets is Serious Business. Indeed.
But really, if my writing is the only one that’s affected, I wouldn’t be too worried. But somehow my motor & comprehension skills all seem to have been flushed down the toilet. I’d often hear things wrong, and it has caused profound grief to those at the other end of the conversation:
FRIEND: Dude, it’s my birthday this Tuesday.
FRIEND: The whole gang’s gonna be there, and…
ME: Hey, look!
ME: A piece of bread!
ME: It’s a piece of bread! You don’t find that very often.
FRIEND: What in blazes are you talking about?!
ME: Bread is delicious!
FRIEND: Were you even listening to what I’ve been saying the last hour?
ME: Weren’t we talking about the societal and/or political implications of Frank Miller’s Batman stories from “The Dark Knight Returns” up until the upcoming “Holy Terror, Batman!”? And bread, too.
FRIEND: FRANK WHO? The implications of WHAT? And what the hell is with the bread?
ME: AND YOU TELL ME I’M THE ONE WHO’S NOT LISTENING!
FRIEND: Dude, you seriously need to have your brain checked.
And as for my motor skills, I can live with myself for tripping over a rock or slipping on a wet floor. I’m a regular klutz, so those things don’t really bother me, not even in public. But tripping over my own shoelaces, while sitting… how do I live that down?!
I’ve been doing a little thinking how the hell did this happen to me, and this is what I found out:
- I’m really dense. Seriously.
- I’m addicted to blogging.
- I’m spending too much time online and I don’t know what real life is.
- Ironically, I haven’t been reading Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica lately, hence I ran out of ideas.
- In case my boss reads this, I’m also working. Very hard. Really. Yessir, I don’t have time to blog!
- Nothing funny has happened to me.
- I ran out of jokes.
- My neighbor’s Karaoke Party has fried my brain. Literally.
So far, the only plausible reason for my brain conking out is the Karaoke incident.
Oh, well, I have to empty my mind for a while and maybe I’ll get a really good idea one of these days.
Have you had Blogger’s Block? How do you deal with it? Can we switch brains? Got something to say? Just comment away!!!
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