Featured Post, Open Letters

An Open Letter To The Judges of The 2007 Philippine Blog Awards

Dear Judges,

I have absolutely no idea who did it (no, wait, I do), but I’ve been nominated in the 2007 Philippine Blog Awards, in the Entertainment (along with The Man Blog), Personal and Blogger’s Choice Award categories. I think I fit more into the Darwin Awards, but that’s just me. I know my readers follow my exploits because they just want to make fun of how I totally mess up my life and I know they are waiting for the time I end up as a beggar in Quiapo who sells sexual favors for a buck apiece, but thanks anyway.

Phallic Trophy
Ah, the sweet taste of victory.

However, I have not achieved anything of consequence in my entire 23 years of living. Ever. You see, I have no life. Sure, I have a band, am a self-proclaimed rock star, am ambigiously gay absolutely manly, am a total asshole, but my life is nothing but 23 years of wasted oxygen. I mean, I have goals but I don’t even know what to do with them.

Anyway, my simple plea is this: let me win. I’m sure I will make a good poster boy for the blogging community. You won’t regret it. Since I’m selling myself already, lemme tell you why I should and should not win.


Pros:

  • I am a very nice guy. In fact, I’m so nice, I decided not to send you the bomb threat letters to coerce you to voting for me.
  • I will not do triple cartwheels on stage when I win the award.
  • Two words: Rock. Star.
  • I don’t pick my nose that much in public like I used to.
  • I will grant sexual favors to the person who gives me the highest score.
  • I take a bath twice a day, therefore I don’t smell bad.
  • Unlike some bloggers there, I don’t go emo on my blog. No, I don’t show the world how my life sucks and that I slash my wrists and wear that ugly hairdo…

Cons:

  • If you’re ugly and act like a total douchebag, you’ll probably end up being made fun of on my blog.
  • Fat. Fugly.
  • Constant need for approval, therefore the constant badgering judges of some competition to vote for me.
  • I have an unhealthy obsession with all things David Hasselhoff.

So dear judges, it’s simple mathematics. More advantages than disadvantages. Also, if you still aren’t convinced, how’s about dinner later, around eight-ish? I know of a good place where we can… *kindat sabay kagat sa labi*

xoxo,
Ade

P.S. Methinks I just seriously hurt my chances of winning. ktnxbai.

FELLOW NOMINEES! LINK LOVE YAY!

Entertainment

Blogger’s Choice Award Nominees

Personal

28 Comments

  1. pa add link naman po nang blogsite ko. Thanks

  2. napadaan lang… link ex?

  3. cool 😀 the man blog is one of the finalists 😀

    you write there anyways. thus, it's still an accomplishment for you 😀

  4. [quote comment="27840"]What's the price? heehee… Popularity? More hits? ^v^[/quote]

    Pity secks!

  5. What's the price? heehee… Popularity? More hits? ^v^

  6. ey good luck …I should've nominated myself tsk tsk

  7. I somehow feel responsible for using the same theme. That could've been one of the reasons why you were left out.

    Either that or the judges are douchebags.

  8. whoa! that's a loooooong list of nominees.

    the best way to weed out the winner is to have all of them slug it out in a mud wrestling match ala royal rumble.

    ade will win that hands down 😛

  9. "*kindat sabay kagat sa labi*"

    You stole this from my database! My database of secret body language techniques to attract the gays! Stop stealing from people's databases!

  10. who told you that people get to vote?

  11. With a letter like that, you got my vote. :p

  12. There are too many nominees, so I refuse to vote.

    Umm. Yeah. Good luck, Ade!

  13. you forgot sam milby.

  14. i prefer dying and shedding blood over the prized iPod than with the trophy. i will kill for that iPod!

  15. good luck ade.. you deserve a trophy more gorgeous than that photo posted above 😀

  16. Hi Ade,

    Goodluck and hope you kick Jerry Yan's ass. Hahaha!

    Village Tickler

  17. goodluck ade! you shoulg at least win a giant thingy haha 😀

  18. So that's what the phallic trophy looks like… *amazed*

    I should therefore win, because I just threw away my dildo. LOL.

  19. Dude, that was awesome… and funny… You deserve to get an award… just so we can hear your acceptance speech.

    But, NO ONE should ever ever ever admit that they have an obsession with David Hasselhoff. Some things MUST be kept in the closet. LOL. 😀

  20. Congratulations!!!!

    TO US! He He He

    Moi? I coerced, initimidated, harassed and threatened my readers with bodily harm if they don't nominate me. Not only that, I am warning the judges that I practice voodoo. I have dolls and I got perdible. I am soooooo readddyyyyy!

  21. hahahahahaha! just like the oscars, campaigning for votes? Nice one, ade. win or lose, you still have the title of ROCK.STAR. (clicks tongue)

  22. Oooh. Couple this with a prepared acceptance speech and the deal's sealed! Hehehe.

  23. kinda looks like she's kissing an ice dildo! LOL

  24. Akala ko I was stuck in Benj's page, yun pala you have the same theme. Hehe.

    Wow. Ang dami palang nominees. Wait, am I even allowed to comment in Tagalog? LOL.

    Good luck! 😀

  25. ZOMG Ade you're up against strong competition! Jerry Yan Philippines is sooo gonna kick your ass! Hahahaha!

    I wonder why nobody nominated me? Oh right, everybody hates snarky me! Well, no biggie, because I hate everybody too. *insert evil laughs here*

  26. nice!

  27. ade

    [quote comment="26279"]you stole this from my database! i was supposed to write a similar entry!!! noooooooo!!!![/quote]

    So I can steal from databases now?! Kewl!

  28. you stole this from my database! i was supposed to write a similar entry!!! noooooooo!!!!

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