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An Exclusive Interview with Manny Pacquiao

In the light of teh boxing superstar Manny Pacquiao’s awesome victory over Erik Morales, The Noisy Noisy Man (yours truly) was able to catch Manny Pacquiao in a strip club secret location somewhere in Las Vegas and was able to score an exclusive, no-holds-barred interview with him.

National Hero
Manny Pacquiao, National Hero

Me: Before we go on, let me just tell you how proud I am of your victory.
Pacquiao: Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-
Me: Um, look here.
Pacquiao: Man! I would like to get a piece of that-
Me: Look here.
Pacquiao: Oh, oh yeah. Want some ChickenMcDo?
Me: Uh, no. So, tell me, how do you feel over this victory over Morales?
Pacquiao: Of course it’s awesome. No one can stand up to the brunt of my fists. You see, I love fisting. The ladies love the power of my magical left hook!
Me: …
Pacquiao: Now if you stand up and turn your back to me, I’ll demonstrate the power of my mighty fist…
Me: Dude, that’s gross.
Pacquiao: But.. but.. but-
Me: So, when Morales was knocked down and refused to get up again, how did you feel?
Pacquiao: Of course it’s satisfying. Just like eating an entire bucket of Magnolia Ice Cream. You see, I have No Fear. I am teh winnar! After he won by a butt during the first match, it’s time to PWN him really good.
Me: But… but… didn’t you just pwn him during your second match?
Pacquiao: So I did. But it wasn’t good enough. Did you just see the look on his face when he refused to stand up! He needed Alaxan!
Me: Um…
Pacquiao: Also, I should’ve invited him over to my place after the match. We could’ve drank lots of San Miguel Beer afterwards. We’re gonna get drunk and sing on my Extreme Magic Sing!
Me: Um…
Pacquiao: Speaking of that, I’m just gonna do that. I’m gonna call him on my-
Me: Talk n text cellphone?
Pacquiao: You’re good. Hey Erik, wanna drop over at my place, I got beer, chicks and-
Me: Um, there are so many things I want to ask you, so many things you can tell me…
Pacquiao: Listen, do you have a copy of my album? I could give you an autograph.
Me: Huh?
Pacquiao: Ok, my boxing trunks will do then.
Me: But-
Pacquiao: Here we go, an autographed pair of my unwashed trunks from my match! It’s even got the Motolite logo on it.

Me: Um-
Pacquiao: Also, let me just state for the record that I’m not running for any political office. That’ll put those rumors to rest.
Me: That’s nice to hear. I’d rather you be remembered as a boxing star-
Pacquiao: I changed my mind, I’m running. Manila vice mayor, baby!
Me: Uh-
Pacquiao: Listen, I have to go… just get a copy of my bioflick The Manny Pacquiao Story from the lobby, and we’ll be good friends.

DISCLAIMER: This is satire. Please don’t sue me. 🙁

24 Comments

  1. This is super funny. I keep imagining how it would sound if Manny actually said these things.

  2. nice..

    pacquiao ang galing mo talaga sa boxing..

  3. bob

    nice one. lol. pre patulong naman kng d ka busy. 😀

  4. I wanted Morales to win this time around, for some inexplicable reason. Heh.

  5. who cares about grammar when yer a billionair?

  6. SHAME ON YOU!

    Manny Pacquiao is the inspiration of MILLIONS of Filipinos all over the world. He's the reason why people with cancer continue to live despite the odds. He has single-handedly lifted national morale in the face of many controversies and scandals that has rocked our nation.

    Shame on you and to everyone else who found your dastardly post funny.

    MANNY PACQUIAO FOR 2010!!!

    LABAN NATIN ITO!!!!

  7. SHAME ON YOU!

    Manny Pacquiao is the inspiration of MILLIONS of Filipinos all over the world. He's the reason why people with cancer continue to live despite the odds. He has single-handedly lifted national morale in the face of many controversies and scandals that has rocked our nation.

    Shame on you and to everyone else who found your dastardly post funny.

    MANNY PACQUIAO FOR 2010!!!

    LABAN NATIN ITO!!!!

    —-

    may kaengotang ginagawa yung comment thingie. pinapa-add parin yung numbers kahit di na lumalabas yung textbox na yun for return users. nawala tuloy original comment ko. huhuhu

  8. when i saw that motolite thing, it was a big LOL!

    & the rest, astig ade. hehe..

    have a nice day! *hugs*

    cheers,
    aiRah

  9. Wait… Circulan, Darlington (Ikspid), Magnolia Milk, Thunder(bolt or bird.. wah, that energy drink),

    Dude, you're so hilarious. It's my first time to drop on your blog.

    Will be your regular reader. ^_^

    Annyeong!

  10. well.. you know.. hehe

  11. ade

    [quote comment="4247"]I was hoping you'd turn this into a podcast with a Pacquiao impersonator. I can practically feel the blood coming out of my ears.

    Soon haters are going to come search for Manny Pacquiao on Google and you'll get them all commenting like crazy. Hahaha. You sux0rZzz LOL.[/quote]

    Yeah, a podcast would be nice. I'll wait until the next match so that it'll be fresh again. Pacquiao-Morales is getting old already.

  12. I was hoping you'd turn this into a podcast with a Pacquiao impersonator. I can practically feel the blood coming out of my ears.

    Soon haters are going to come search for Manny Pacquiao on Google and you'll get them all commenting like crazy. Hahaha. You sux0rZzz LOL.

  13. haaay manny! I'm fed up

  14. ade

    [quote comment="4204"]Mehn, are you sure its Manny? He can never speak English that well. LOL.[/quote]

    No shit! It's Manny! No, really!

  15. Mehn, are you sure its Manny? He can never speak English that well. LOL.

  16. did you notice he doesn't have shoes during the interview? only his ix-pid socks. 🙂

  17. Kutso

    [quote comment="4158"]"Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-" -Cubao strippers can do this too hehe[/quote]

    Strippers in Vegas don't do this. LOL

  18. HAHAHAHAHA. Why didn't you ask how he felt when he learned that his brother lost the crown due to being overweight?

  19. "Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you see how that stripper grab that beer bottle with her-" -Cubao strippers can do this too hehe

  20. I never thought Manny could speak English so well. LOL! Thanks for dropping by my blog. 🙂

  21. How about the datu puti suka?

  22. how could you forget extreme magic sing, ade???

  23. A local newspaper here in Cebu (SunStar) has Manny Pacquiao back in the front page and yes, his butt is still powered by "Motolite". :mrgreen:

  24. ade

    [quote comment=”4130″]how could you forget extreme magic sing, ade???[/quote]

    EGADS! You’re right. Article edited.

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