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AdeFAIL: Race To The Gravy

As most of you know, I love food. You know, you can take one glance at my humongous frame and you’d probably conclude that I love food. Also, the five chilidogs I have in my mouth would be a pretty good giveaway. In fact, I love food so much I could probably name a few (twenty) sexual deviations involving food that I probably have don’t have.

Who would’ve thought that my love for food would actually be a social impediment?

I was eating in KFC with Wits and Baddie, stuffing our faces as usual with chicken and discussing the merits of KY Jelly when applied to financial situations in the context of the current global economic meltdown. Don’t ask.

So we soon realized that we ran out of gravy. And somehow there was only one gravy thermos in a floor of around fifty gravy-eating customers. Fifty murderous gravy-eating customers who are desperate for it.


*insert heavenly choir here*

So I stood up and went towards the gravy container. As I took one step, another girl stood up and walked towards the gravy. I stopped, and she did the same. And she eyed me suspiciously. And this is how I knew that she was out to get my gravy. My gravy. MINE.

And without thinking, I broke into a run. I was able to cover the three feet distance to the gravy in a matter of seconds. She didn’t even have time to react. I saw her bewildered face as I got to the gravy. And I saw the disappointed expression on her face as she slowly walked away dejectedly, head hung low. I won!

I was still gloating when I got back to the table; Baddie was laughing his ass off and Wits was, idunno, probably eating still. Then it hit me how chivalrous that was of me and and I guess that explains why I was single for the better part of last year. Way to go, Ade.

Also, the gravy thermos was totally empty.

28 Comments

  1. That was the smoothest move I've ever seen from someone I know and I am so proud to call you my friend.

  2. Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!

  3. Toe

    Aaaah… ikaw ba 'yon??? I was THAT girl! 🙂 Joke lang, joke lang! If that girl were me, you would have lost by a mile. 🙂

  4. Sa aming Religious Education class (OMFG!) ang tawag doon ay 'ganid.' LOLZ

  5. Almond

    hahaha!!!

  6. before i make my point, just an aside: i personally believe that KY jelly is one of those basic commodities that can influence and ultimately help the manufacturing industry survive the current crisis because of its built-in market.

    lubrication remains one of the basic human needs that must be satisfied even in the direst situation. it is thus invulnerable to external pressures and other variables influencing the movements of international economies.
    ***

    now about the gravy, i agree that crushing the spirit of the competition won for you a definite advantage, and one i suggest you should use in future battles.

    entire wars have been won and lost, and are continually being fought around that silver-black thermos. you are more than justified in standing your ground. i salute you.

    • Ade

      before i make my point, just an aside: i personally believe that KY jelly is one of those basic commodities that can influence and ultimately help the manufacturing industry survive the current crisis because of its built-in market.
      lubrication remains one of the basic human needs that must be satisfied even in the direst situation. it is thus invulnerable to external pressures and other variables influencing the movements of international economies.

      THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! HIGH FIVE!

  7. This is what you should have done:
    1. Open the Thermos
    2. Took off your shirt
    3. Poured graveh on you bodeh
    4. Ask the lady, “do you want some graveh babeh?”
    5. Give her your number.

    I swear, if you do it regularly, some poor girl is bound to get turned on.

  8. There there. Getting an empty thermos is a disappointment, but it’s not that big of a fail. Crushing the spirit of your competitor, on the other hand, is a definite win.

  9. lol wasted effort! but you still won!

  10. Yel

    Next time kasi bakuran mo na yung thermos, wag kang aalis until it gets refilled.

  11. dude i would have given you a run for your money if we were in the same store. nobody touches my gravy. nobody.

  12. at least you got the thermos?
    LOL
    you could then ask for a refill at the counter

    • Ade

      Counter? Bah. Real men elbow pregnant women out of the way in the race to the gravy.

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