So I was on my way home yesterday and I was looking for an FX taxi. It had been a long day and I was tired and was willing to elbow my way into any mode of transportation just to get home and catch some z’s. Unfortunately, 7pm in Espana Avenue isn’t really an ideal time to catch a ride, mainly because the entire Quiapo population would converge in Espana, usually to frustrate the heck out of me (and probably stick a knife up my ribs to rob me of my money).

So I saw this FX taxi, which had one passenger alighting. And then, I saw seven or eight Quiapo denizens swarming on the taxi like flies. I took the chance. I immediately took my action-star pose (which probably didn’t look half as dramatic as I hoped because of my potbelly) and did my action star sprint (again, the awesomeness was hampered because my manboobs were jiggling). Lo and behold, the people jumped out of my way! I jumped into the seat, and closed the door. Success!

Not.

Damn, it sure was cramped in the FX. Well, there was another fat guy at the end of the row, so there was only room enough for one extremely small gerbil. But desperate as I am, I persisted on squeezing myself into the small space, and I saw that I was sitting beside an extremely pretty lady. So, I was sweating and panting like mad because of my two-feet run and I was hunched up inside an FX with a pretty girl. In awkward positions. With me getting cramps on my left leg.

So it was for the remainder of the 45-minute trip, me and the pretty girl sitting in silence. Me avoiding her gaze. She trying hard to telepathically project her thoughts of “Get off at the next stop, you fugly fat man!”.

And so, I have reaffirmed my reputation as the guy to bring along when you DON’T want to get laid.

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