They say heart disease is the leading cause of death. I say that list is incomplete. They failed to add another leading contributor to the mortality rate: Karaoke.

For a great example of how karaoke kills, just look at the eyes of the guy on the left. His eyes are glowing red because the guy in the blue shirt is fat. And reaching for his crotch. He’s about to optic-blast the poor guy to smithereens.

Yes folks, Karaoke kills.

Just last night I was trying to get some well-deserved sleep when our very considerate neighbors decided to hold a karaoke party. With booze. Everybody knows that booze and Karaoke doesn’t mix. To cut a long story short, I was treated to a one-of-a-kind performance by our not-so-sober neighbors, who are, to put it nicely, gifted singers. How nice of them to sing to get rid of my headache.

At the fifth repition of “Love Moves in Mysterious Ways”, (sung inexplicably by a man) I couldn’t take it any more. I closed my room’s windows, and put my head under the pillows. Unfortunately, I could still hear his howling singing.

Then he started singing “My Heart Will Go On”. Geez, what’s wrong with that guy?! I was seriously contemplating genocide then. And to pass a law that will make it legal to murder drunk singers in karaoke parties.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to sleep decently, for their lovely party went on until 3 am.

Got any horrific karaoke experiences? Tell me!