A couple of months ago, the water company decided, on a whim, to change all the water pipes in our area. It’s cool with me, considering the fact that most water pipes in this godforsaken country have been laid down way before WW II and are probably clogged with the bones of some Japanese soldier, and did I mention I drink water? So yeah.

But it never occurred to me that changing pipes is a complicated matter. They would dig up the pipes from the bottom of the ground, and remove the old one and then replace it with a shiny new pipe, then cover it up with soil and cement it all over again. And the whole time they’d have road signs saying “We don’t just lay pipes, we build lives” (and a million dirty jokes just went through my mind just like that. IKNOWRITE).

What they didn’t mention is that the entire damn process would take months. And to speed up the process, they decided to do all the streets in our village at the same time. Yes, at the same fucking time. And the geniuses at the water company effectively closed off all the major roads. Yay!

To top it off, the construction workers have built a shack near our house, bringing their wives and kids there to live with them for the entirety of the project. So yay, right? I mean, every morning I wake up to this pleasant dialogue coming through my window:

Guy: PUTANG INA NAMAN! MAGSAING KA NA! MAGTATRABAHO PA AKO!
Wife: LECHE KA! KUNG DI MO INUBUS ANG PERA NATIN SA GIN KAGABI MAY ISASAING AKO!
Son: Ang iingay nyo! Di ako makapag konsentreyt sa laru ko! Binabato ko lahat ng dumadaan dito eh! Tapos mamaya sisinghot pa ako ng rugby habang kumakanta ng Salbakuta.
Guy: Ang galing mo anak! Keep it up, tatanda ka na katulad ko!
Son: Oo naman tay, idol kita eh! Hay payb!

So my mornings have been nothing but joy for me. Sometimes, I totally feel that there’s a conspiracy to keep my locked in my house so that I don’t pose a danger to little cuddly animals and children.

Have you been in this sort of situation where you’ve been kept in your home, against your free will?

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