Noisy, Noisy Man

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That swine flu thing has finally reached our shores, and the number of infected people are escalating. So, what’s most logical thing to do? Panic. Yes, that’s what we’re doing now.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not downplaying the effects of swine flu. It’s dangerous and all, but seeing people around me panic is just not doing anyone good. Because I tend to freak out too; and whenever I freak out I curl into a fetal position and suck my thumb. Want to know how jumpy people are? Everytime somebody coughs in the elevator, I could literally see everyone’s head turning towards the poor guy, with MURDER written on their faces. I’m pretty sure if somebody initiated a punch, everyone would be involved within five seconds. The poor sap won’t reach the ground floor alive.

There’s a palpable tension in the air that was never there before. Everyone’s so uneasy, similar to the feeling of watching another Hayden Kho sex scandal video, but instead of Katrina Halili, he’s boning Dionisia Pacquiao this time. Read the rest of this entry »

This is a question nobody takes seriously: are your neighbors zombies? For all you know, you could be in the middle of a party, drinking your 7th beer while people are getting crazy on the karaoke, then you pass out. Five hours later, you wake up with your brains missing. Dang! One of your neighbors are zombies, and you don’t know who it is! See why you need to know who the humans and who the zombies are before it’s too late?

Check out these warning signs so you can differentiate between the living and the undead. The last thing we want is an unexpected brain salad. Your brains.

If your neighbors tend to walk around the neighborhood muttering “Brains” under their breath, they might be zombies.

You might think the thin guy next door is just taking his nightly leisure walk like he always does (midnight on the dot), but he’s just hunting for flesh to eat. Have you seen Mrs. Wilson’s dog after that one time thin guy took it on a midnight stroll? Thought so! Read the rest of this entry »