Noisy, Noisy Man

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Hello there, dear reader. My name is Ade. And I run this blog. And I may or may not know you. You might be following my blog since time immemorial, or you may have just stumbled upon it from a couple of links here and there. Or maybe you’ve stumbled upon my site from Google.

Yes, Google. Now let’s talk. You see, dear reader who got to my site from Google, I’m getting really worried about you.

… ’sup?

 

You see, I’ve been getting a deluge of really weird search terms that are really bordering from “weird” to “just plain fucking disturbing”. No, seriously. I run a humor blog here, dear visitor. I know that somebody mistook my site as pr0n and tagged it accordingly on StumbleUpon, but trust me, I’m trying to make sure my site is as family-friendly and as G-rated as possible.

(Also, by “family-friendly”, I’m talking about these guys, but whatev. Family schmamily. Semantics. Also, by G-rated, I’m talking about the use of shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits as often as possible, because, you know, kids need to start to learn these things early in life.) Read the rest of this entry »

You’re sitting in your doctor’s office. The cheerfulness of the receptionist, the sunlight streaming through the windows like some cheesy movie, and the general normalcy of it all does nothing to assuage the clammy feeling you have in your stomach. That feeling that you usually get before something bad happens, just like the time you put your bird in the vacuum pump of that pool two years back. It’s been bugging you for the last week already, and you would like to know already what the hell is wrong with you.

The test results come in. You fear the worst, but you hold the test results in your hand, hoping against hope that your suspicions aren’t true. But there it is, that one word in bold black ink against the stark white paper.

Yes, just one word, and yet you feel your life has ended. That word is: POSITIVE.

OH MY GOD A HERPES! Read the rest of this entry »