Tag Archives: elevator

The Tale Of The Guy Who Tried to Outsmart Everyone in the Elevator

15 Dec

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The scenario

Lunchtime was just about over, and hordes of office drones are rushing to the elevator to get back to work (and by “work” I mean “surfing Friendster all day, looking for hot chicks to stalk”). People just want to go back and stalk that hot half-naked chick who looks like she’s been in a scandal which they saw on iyottube.com work. Elevators are sometimes amazingly slow. Oh wait, I mean “all the time.” Tempers are rising as people impatiently tap their feet on the ground floor.

Then

After a long and excruciating wait, an elevator opens, and everyone is stoked to see only one guy inside. The twenty people who have been waiting for an elevator quickly move in.

crowd

This pretty much happened

Somehow, nobody realized that the sole person inside the lift is an asshole. (more…)

An Open Letter To The Girl Who Accidentally Touched My Bird in The Elevator

23 Jun

This entry is part 8 of 12 in the series Open Letters

Dear Girl Who Accidentally Touched My Bird in The Elevator,

So I was standing in the elevator minding my own business, right? And I was busy talking to The Mordo and Helga, minding my own business when your group just came in barging. I counted between 7-10 people. It should’ve been an ordinary crowded elevator moment. But you had to come in, texting and not minding your surroundings and swinging your arms like crazy. Yep, swinging your arms like crazy in a crowded elevator.

Guess where your hand landed.


Reenactment

So, Girl Who Accidentally Touched My Bird in The Elevator, I usually don’t mind. Accidents do happen, you know. But it was really amusing to see you stop in your tracks, freeze for around thirty seconds, panic written across your face. At this point I was so fucking trying to keep my laughter in. So I decided to do what any other gentleman would do in such an awkward situation: stare at you and keep the awkwardness up for the long elevator ride from the 25th floor down to the ground floor. (more…)