I just made my first online purchase at Amazon a few days back. Luddite that I am, I tend to avoid doing online purchases due to the fear that the little man inside my computer – the guy in charge of making sure that the lights and sound are in sync so I can enjoy watching the latest 1:43 video–  might rebel and send my credit card details to some Nigerian guy. But what the hell, it’s going to be Valentine’s Day, and the girlfriend is over at the land where Bryan Adams, Celine Dion and Justin Bieber reign supreme so I might as well break out the credit card and make the purchase.

I timed it very carefully, by the way. I checked the delivery clause well, looking for a way so it gets to the girlfriend exactly on the 14th – not before, or after. I even placed my order at the last possible minute, for timing purposes (this is a perfect excuse for procrastinatiOH HI GIRLFRIEND I WAS JUST JOKING).

Still, the flowers arrived two days too early.

Anyway, this being the second year I am spending Valentine’s Day in a long-distance relationship, I realize that I am in a rather unique situation: I’m not single, therefore, I have no reason to be spewing hate and bitterness on the internet. However, I still don’t have a date (except for those two hours that I’ll be dedicating to FaceTime) so… yeah, fuck that. I’m probably going to spend my Valentine’s Day evening on my computer, on Reddit, watching everyone else online bitch and whine about how sad their lonely lives are. I’m also expecting to see a huge amount of Forever Alone ragetoons posted.

Okay, that’s pretty sad.

Anyway, what are your plans for Valentine’s Day? So I can just bitch about how your February 14 is awesome while I spend mine in front of the computer.

Also, enjoy my Valentine’s Day gift for you all: