Noisy, Noisy Man

Get your Recommended Daily Dose of Retard.
If you like my blog, you should subscribe via RSS or email and help save innocent puppies!

You may have met them at one point or another in your life. They are noisy, annoying, inconsiderate, and just plain ugly. Ladies and gents, meet the jologs. They are probably the most annoying creatures on the face of the earth and it is every man’s dream to put them all in a leaky ocean liner headed for Zanzibar. AND THEN NUKE THE DAMN PLACE!

In this series, I will try to educate you on the different types of jologs and later on teach you how to avoid them, hopefully permanently.

The r0kkeRzZzZ \m/

Look at this fine specimen of jologetry.

This is what we call the r0kkeRzZzZ \m/. No, not ROCKER, because rockers are fine upstanding citizens who get drunk, get stoned, and basically throw their lives away. But they’re geniuses. Some well-known rockers are John Lennon, Ely Buendia, and the like. But r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ are different. They get drunk, get stoned, and basically throw their lives away. And they’re douchebags.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last time, we talked about that subspecies of Jologs called the r0kkeRzZzZ \m/. You know, the black shirt-wearing, beer-bottle toting creatures that inhabit rock concerts like it’s the end of the world. After which, Mike toured us on the wonderful world of Jologs Fashion. Jologs Fashion – now that’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one.

For this edition, I actually wanted to write about the r0kkeRzZzZ \m/ subclass called xx E ~ m ~ 0 xx, but seeing how I kept on bashing them here, I really felt that it was too easy.

Just lookit this:

Read the rest of this entry »

If you check out parts one and two, you’ll see a common thread between the jologs specimens I find. But somehow, the lines have been blurred upon further examination of the jologs sub-species. I may have found several new jologs subspecies, but I can’t be too sure. I needed to investigate further. Soon I found out that these people are bound by a common theme: they have not had sex in their pathetic lives.

Don’t believe me? Just take a look:

Guys, meet Dhan. He’s trying to rape a pillow. However, the pillow was able to capture pictures of this nefarious act and posted the image all over the interwubs. I tried to inform him of what happened so he can file charges against said pillow but he just snarled and lunged at me. I barely escaped with my asshole intact.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’ve noticed, most of the people I’ve dissed in my previous Know Your Jologs installations have been men. I’ve done that for two reasons– one, I really consider myself as a gentleman in real life and I would never try to piss off women and that carries off online but I’m really just a pussy; and two, the women I found are just too horrible and I wouldn’t want to inflict upon my awesome readers (yes, the both of you) the pain I suffered.

But then I realized that I am evil and shit and I do want to inflict lots of mental and bodily harm on you and I will just go on and post them anyway. Because I hate you like that.

Now since I’ll be dissing females in this edition of “Know Your Jologs”, to help me would be Liz who turned out to be just as awesome and retarded as any other male Man Blog Editor. Must be penis envy.

ADE: As you can see, this girl tried to show the world how awesome she is in giving blowjobs. She miserably failed to convince anyone.
LIZ: What the fuck is that? It looks too nice to know what a blow job is.
ADE: Either it’s a blowjob it was a little too hungry.
ADE: And ingested the nearest source of protein.
LIZ: So what happens when teeth are all thats left of it?
ADE: You know the fake teeth Joker wears in the first Batman movie? I guess that’s what happens.
LIZ: Dude i just came from a crap and I don’t know whether i should strangle you from where you work, but all this is making me feel horrible.
LIZ: Maybe I should try it? Eat myself?
LIZ: BUT ILL GET FUCKING FAT.
LIZ: Dilemma.

Read the rest of this entry »