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Flashback to a few months ago:

So The Mordo and I were hanging out at the McDonald’s near the office. Also, we were taking shelter from the rain (and we were finding an excuse to not go back to work) when this Kylie Minogue song played on the muzak. Since we consider ourselves experts on nothing more then the female body and all the joys it imparts, The Mordo and I had a discussion on the apparent hotness of Kylie Minogue (FYI: she’s still hot).

This image is meant to get your attention

Anyway, in the middle of a debate on whether or not a masectomy can reduce Kylie Minogue’s overall hotness (it won’t), we had this rather… interesting discussion:

Mordo: “Listen to her voice, Ade”

Ade: “Yeah, I am, what about it?”

Mordo: “Can’t you hear the hotness?”

Ade: “Er… what?!”

Mordo: “No, listen! Kylie Minogue’s hotness! It oozes out of her voice!” (more…)

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As most of you know, I love food. You know, you can take one glance at my humongous frame and you’d probably conclude that I love food. Also, the five chilidogs I have in my mouth would be a pretty good giveaway. In fact, I love food so much I could probably name a few (twenty) sexual deviations involving food that I probably have don’t have.

Who would’ve thought that my love for food would actually be a social impediment?

I was eating in KFC with Wits and Baddie, stuffing our faces as usual with chicken and discussing the merits of KY Jelly when applied to financial situations in the context of the current global economic meltdown. Don’t ask.

So we soon realized that we ran out of gravy. And somehow there was only one gravy thermos in a floor of around fifty gravy-eating customers. Fifty murderous gravy-eating customers who are desperate for it. (more…)

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So after a week of (unsuccessfully) avoiding spoilers, I finally decided to finally go and watch the latest Star Trek movie. So the girlfriend was unavailable and I had nobody else to watch it with, which is why I went to the cinema alone. I tell you, it can get pretty awkward. I went, all alone, to a movie which is notorious to have a massive fanbase composed of reputed virgins.

“Hi, I’m here to talk to you about my penis.”

Also, have I ever mentioned that crowds scare the shit out of me? Yeah, I hate it when crowds become all crowd-like and become composed of lots of people. I get uneasy and and shiver and cringe. Ok, not really, but I still hate crowds. So to prevent people from thinking that I’m some loser who goes off reading Star Trek wikis in between the Picard/Kirk erotic fanfic, I decided to act nonchalant.

In fact, if somebody was to talk to me about how awesome the film was, I was planning to answer “You mean this is a space adventure film? I thought it was going to be filled with weird human-alien tentacle sex! Just the way me and my… harem of hot girls like it!” (more…)

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There’s this small cafeteria I go to during lunch time. Aside from the fact that the food there tastes more or less home-cooked, the price is perfect for a cheapskate like me. Also, the building where the cafeteria is located is a few buildings away from my office and the place is infested with hot women. Is there a rule where all the hot women of Ortigas Center stay in that one building and they all avoid the place where this fat sweaty dude works?

Since the food there is cheap, I usually get a bad case of the gas after lunch time. I usually deal with this by silently releasing it in a series of small farts on the way back to the office. When I get back to my cubicle, I sit with a satisfied grin on my face, content that my little spurts of doom went by unnoticed.

Unrelated picture is unrelated

Anyway, the cafeteria is on the second floor. To save time, I don’t use the elevator and instead I go up the fire exit, because using the elevator to go up one floor is one of the most annoyingly stupid things on my list. (more…)

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