The Situation: Me and my band were in a coffee shop somewhere in Tomas Morato, drinking coffee (duh), annoying the fuck out of the laptop-weilding patrons who look like they’re about to close a deal or something but the fact that we were in a corner playing the guitars and loudly singing off-tune (we were, erm, composing songs. Shut up.) were preventing them from getting any real work done.

Also, we ended up in a Thai restaurant where we overloaded on curry dishes until I felt like throwing up all over the place.

Then: The phone of our guitarist Perf (not de Castro) rang. On the other line was a friend of ours who we haven’t seen in ages. She was inviting to meet us up in Malate, which we all know is like the gay capital of the Philippines. And in the background were five guys who suspiciously sounded… gay. Not to be discriminating against gays, but three guys stuck in gaylandia with five possibly gay guys who we don’t even know = a lot of awkward.

… kinda like this.

Thus: We informed the friend that we’re in Tomas Morato and that we can’t make it. So we all thought it was over and dome with.

Soon afterwards, my band chanced on a great idea: why not drive all the way to Tagaytay?

So, at 10pm, we decided to go to Tagaytay. We arrived an hour and a half later and we… went to the nearest Starbucks and do exactly the same thing we did in that other coffee shop earlier: you know, have coffee, and annoy the fuck off tourists with our singing. Of course, I was wearing shorts and the draft was freezing my ‘nads off, but that’s an entirely different story.

In Conclusion:
When we got back to Manila, we discovered that that friend of ours actually travelled all the way from Malate to Tomas Morato. Upon discovering that we took off to Tagaytay, she was pissed off at us superbly.

Thus ends my guide on how to quickly lose friends the Ade way. You should try it sometime. You’re guaranteed to lose an average of 2 friends a week.

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