Noisy Noisy Man

Ruining The Internet Since 2005

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"Son of Batman" Review

Damian Wayne is a little piece of shit.

That’s the first thing you need to know about Batman’s kid. But there’s a backstory to it, before you go off hating the… little piece of shit. He’s the illegitimate son of Batman and Talia al Ghul. He was raised, without his father knowing of his existence, by an isolated group of ninja assassins who commit terrorist acts in the name of the environment. His grandfather is Ra’s al Ghul, an insane assasin who is a few hundred years old, made almost immortal by a mystical pool of glowing green liquid.

Yeah, that will kind of mess up a kid’s mind.

Anyway, let’s talk about the animated adaptation of Son of Batman. In this story, Batman discovers that all this time he’s had a kid raised as a killer, by one of his enemies, and the mother of his kid just leaves Damian with Bruce. Oh no, a guy who has made a career out of alienating almost everybody in his life now has to connect with the son he never knew he had! Comedy ensues! Except not really. Continue reading

Captain America: The Winter Soldier Review

Let me just get this out of the way. Captain America is in my top four favorite superheroes, mainly because of Ed Brubaker’s now-classic run which heavily relied on espionage and spy drama. And of course, Brubaker’s The Winter Soldier stands out to me the most as having the balls to mess with the established mythos and revitalize the character for years to come. You see, The Winter Soldier may not my favorite Captain America storyline, but it’s pretty damn close for it set the pieces in motion for some of the greatest Cap stories ever.

Which brings us to Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Warning: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. Continue reading

An Open Letter to 40-Year Old Ade

Dear 40-Year Old Ade,

Hey there, man. How are you doing? Are you doing ok? Are you finally get married or did you finally snap and buy a real doll and kept it in your room? Do you have kids and did you really push through with naming them “Genetic Experiments #1, 2, 3…” and if you did, what is wrong with you? (And when nobody is looking, I will high five you because, come on, that is awesome.)

Right now, I’m not doing too well. You know whenever you think you’re doing well and you hit the point where you think the world is your oyster and that you’re all good? And then you stumble into another one of those existential crises you loved to get yourself into back in your 20’s. Anyway, I have a feeling so many of the things that are important and pressing to me at the moment probably don’t matter at all at this point, like the great iPhone vs Android debate. I’m pretty sure the robot uprising already happened by then, and you’re regretting your current dependence on your smartphone, unless you have been assimilated by the great singularity, in which case this letter is pointless. Continue reading

What The Hell Is Up With Justice League: War?

In one scene in Justice League: War, Wonder Woman, new to the ways of the world outside Themyscira, meets a young girl. The girl takes Wonder Woman to a man selling ice cream, and our super-powered heroine  gets herself a cone. She takes one taste and she is enthralled. She takes out her sword, raises it into the air, and exclaims: “Ice cream is WONDERFUL!”

That’s the sort of movie Justice League: War is. Continue reading

The Wolf of Wall Street: A Review of the Conversation of the Couple Sitting Behind Me

I’ve heard nothing but good things about the new Martin Scorsese film The Wolf of Wall Street so I decided to set aside three hours of my time and watch Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill get fucked up with all sorts of debauchery. Sadly, there was this couple behind me who decided it was the perfect time to have a long conversation about their relationship and the film itself. Since I couldn’t pay attention to the movie, I decided to just eavesdrop and write about their heartfelt conversation as it distracted everybody sitting nearby from enjoying the film they paid good money for. Continue reading

Relearning

The bass legend Jaco Pastorius once said that he threw out everything he knew about bass – and music – because he realized he got by with playing it by ear. He started from scratch all over again, painstakingly relearning every single line of music he can play in his sleep, only because he wanted to learn the musical foundation of everything he knows.

Sometimes we’ve been used to a pattern so much that we tend to gloss over the details and not see why we do things a certain way. And sometimes we don’t even realize that we’ve been doing things one way that there’s a better and faster option if we only step back and figure out what the hell we’ve been doing all this time.

Taking a step back and looking at what you do, and focusing on the parts that need improvement, and recalibrating. Relearning is what this year is about. 

New Year's Resolutions for 2014 (That I Will Probably Break)

Now that 2013 is coming to a close, it’s time to reflect on the year that passed. Think about all the things you’ve done, the experiences you’ve had to get to this point, and finally all the things you’ve learned this year. This is the new year, and I know you want to take all these lessons and have an epiphany and change your life for the better. But most of us will just go back to our old routines and be the same old people we were before the holidays. Continue reading

Merry Christmas!

Funny Santa Claus

Hey there, guys! At this time I’m probably out of town at some family function. So here it is, I’m greeting all of my readers (whoever’s left; I bet you all got sick of me a long time ago) a Merry Christmas! Or Happy Holidays. Or Happy Hanukkah.

Anyway, I found the perfect Christmas song for you. Turn up your volume really loud, play this video, close your eyes, and feel the Christmas spirit wash over you.

How’s your Christmas so far? Enjoy this day!

What's on your Christmas Wish List this year?

So Christmas is fast approaching, and I can definitely say that I’m feeling the Christmas spirit more this year than the last, er, five years. Usually at this time of year I’d be caught up in a massive bout of depression and I’d go around telling people how much I hate this season, go wild whenever I hear that cursed Jose Mari Chan song, and tell kids that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.

I honestly don’t know what changed, and frankly, I don’t care. I’m just really starting to enjoy myself.

Continue reading

"Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor" Review

Fifty years ago, a small low-budget TV show started airing on BBC. Featuring a mysterious old man from another planet and his time machine, Doctor Who became an overnight sensation and has become one of the longest-running science fiction franchises. Last weekend, Doctor Who celebrated its 50th anniversary in style. Who would have thought that that small black-and-white show with the wobbly sets and starring the old man who can’t seem to remember his lines become this big – and effectively take over half of the posts of this blog in the process?

To celebrate the 50th year of Doctor Who, Ade and Comicgasm co-editor RJ will sit down and talk about the festivities connected with the anniversary.

WARNING: SPOILERS AND CAPS LOCK AHEAD!

Ade: Before anything else, here’s a reminder: the Philippines needs your help after Typhoon Yolanda left Tacloban and parts of Visayas in shambles, leaving hundreds of thousands of people homeless. I didn’t want to join in the noise by writing a blog post about it and be accused of jumping in the SEO bandwagon, but at the same time I didn’t want Yolanda to be unacknowledged. So there.

RJ: I do believe that this is the first time I’m writing for your blog after the 1:43 fiasco. God knows what kind of trouble we’d end up in this time.

Ade: HEY 1:43! YOUR BAND SUCKS STINKY SWEATY SALTY BALLS. Aaaand that’s the sound of angry fanboys going to my blog. Dude, we have an audience! Let’s do this.

RJ: Let me just say that the 50th Anniversary Special is AMAZING. This will probably be our longest round table review yet, to the point where you (yes, you!) would stop reading half way.

Ade: You’d stop reading halfway and start to wonder what it is you’re doing with your life and possibly make some life-changing decisions and in the process find God.

RJ: We’re going to offend all sorts of people in this post, aren’t we? CAN WE START THE REVIEW YET? Continue reading

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