Jack-o-lanternSince it’s almost Halloween and All Soul’s day, let’s talk about ghosts and other creatures of the night (no Mike, I’m not talking about that girl you picked up yesterday at Quezon Avenue). I’m not really one who readily believes in ghosts and other supernatural stuff, mainly because I get freaked out easily. So I sort of use logic and science to keep myself from being scared shitless. So if me and a friend would suddenly become the subjects of a haunting, the following conversation would certainly ensue:

Friend: Did you hear that?
Me: Did I hear what?
Friend: That! Footprints and that ethereal moaning?
Me: Moaning, you say? It’s probably somebody making out behind us. Most likely furries. Move along.
Friend: No, I mean it! It’s… it’s… it’s… unearthly!
Me: Dude, did you take your medication today?
Friend: ZOMBIES! BEHIND US!
Me: How many times have i told you that hallucinogens are bad for you?
Friend: Flesh eating zombies!
Me: Yeah whatever. You’re creeping me out. Goodbye.
Friend: NO! COME BACK! AAAAAAAAGH! ADE! ADE! HEEEEL-
Me: You’re not getting any Oscars out of that performance, I’m sure.


Me: …Hello?

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But even though I try at times to be logical, I still get scared of stuff. A roundup of creepy things that still give me nightmares:

Cueshe

Cueshe
* Shudder *
Oh, God why?

Goatse

Goatse
I already censored the creepy parts. Click here if you dare to see it in full gory detail.

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is a role model
Goodness gracious! What is that i see?

She has a sex video floating around the net, she got busted for drunk driving, her cellphone is full of, um, unflattering pictures (NSFW), she’s not really the sharpest tool in the shed, and she’s a POP STAR. Also, preteen girls idolize her. She’s a goddamn role model who’ll shape the lives of millions of young kids. Not even George Romero can beat that zombie flick.



She’s hot though.

Michael Jackson

ugh
Because this joke is mandatory.

So before I end this entry, let me just give you the obligatory Halloween Ghost Story:

Back when I was in Grade 2, me and my friend Ker were doing the Christmas caroling rounds to earn some money to spend on stuff Grade 2 kids shouldn’t be touching. Like candies (what were you thinking, perv?). So it was already 11pm and of course everybody in their right minds wouldn’t get out of their beds to entertain some annoying kids who are conning them out of their dough.

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So devastated that we didn’t make enough, we went straight home. Along the way, we saw a girl who was dressed in all white, who had fog around her and it made her look like she was glowing with some light from the underworld, and she was… floating.

Of course I screamed my head off (in a manly way, of course. No, really.) and I shouted “OMGWTFBBQ WHITE LADY!!!11oneoneone”

And then, we, um, laughed.

Like a couple of retards.

So what scares you? Got any other creepy stories?