Looks like Noelle isn’t the only one having problems going online. However, Noelle’s problems are more systems related while my troubles are more time related. God I miss the internet. I’m falling behind reading my favorite blogs, submitting articles to The Man Blog, and I haven’t even read Annalyn’s email informing me that my interview with Manila Bulletin has been published already!

Ok Ade, so what happened?

Let’s just say I got sucked into an alternate universe where nobody has time to check their email and are forced to answer calls by Americans who can’t find the start button on their computers. We call this alternate universe “reality”.

Um, ok. So what did you do?

I created a new type of ice cream marketed solely at young girls.

Ice Dick

I became so filthy rich in that dimension that I regret coming back here.

Interesting product. Will you market it here as well?

I’d love to, but these strapping young men already beat me to it:


Thanks to Coco for the pic.

You can’t mess with these muscular men, oh no.

How was it like in that other universe?

Well, everything was more or less the same, except for the fact that people loved me and I was a blogging superstar in that world! They even interviewed me and put me on their newspaper.

Really? That is soooo gay! I mean cool! Did you meet someone who didn’t like you?

Oh yes. I met these guys who were a little too, um, aggressive. They were hissing and threatening to “pull their lunches out of their asses” at everyone.

Personally, I think they’re sexually repressed.

So what did you do?

Well, personally wanted to give them flowers and food and chocolates and be BFFs with them. But that’s gay. So I grabbed my Oozinator and prepared to send those kids to hell. But they sent me an army of, um, nekkid soldiers!

And they captured me and sent me back to this plane of existence. It’s sad, really, because I wasn’t able to bring my riches here.

Is there anything else you’d like to add.

Yeah. I learned how to dance.

Really? Can you show me?

Gladly.


OH SNAP!!!1

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This article is meant to show you the dangers of going without sleep for one week straight. You become delusional and a danger to little kids and puppies. Also, comment.