On Monday, I’ll be reporting for my first day at my spanking brand new job. I’m rather excited, because after working two years as a Technical Customer Care Representative – okay, call center agent, happy? – I’m actually be going into a job that actually makes me go to work at normal hours, as opposed to me sleeping when everyone else is supposed to be awake and shit.

Fig 1: A fairly accurate depiction of Ade during his call center stint

But spending two years in a job that requires me to do little more than answer calls and tell some American that the reason they don’t have internet is that they fucking left their modems unplugged gives me substantial doubt in my capabilities. Number one, being in a job that requires little of you makes you rusty. And two years being rusty means I’m probably suffering from severe mental athropy. I mean, I used to be a graphic designer. Now I can’t even crop shit in Photoshop. I used to read these highfalutin theories by some communications expert. Now I spend my time trolling retarded forums and spewing the wrath of Goatse among people. And my high school thesis was best thesis back in high school, now I’m reduced to writing retarded articles peppered with swear words such as “fuck”, “shit”, “bulbol ng madre”, and “Lance Bass”.

Fig 2: Gay

I’m pretty sure I’ll spend the first few days of my new job sitting in a corner nodding constantly and giving ambigous grunts to various instructions, pretending to understand them all. Then if I convince them that I understood everything, I shall proceed with my task (writing an article) and eventually start a fire because I mistook the toaster for a printer and stuffed it with a ream of paper.

Okay, maybe I exaggerate. Maybe I won’t start a fire, just probably introduce an airborne strain of herpes into the office or some other major fuck up like that.

I know I’ll pretty much pick up the pace in a few weeks, but that still doesn’t stop me from being a nervous wreck.

Also, speaking of the alarming rate of depreciation of my IQ, I found a stash of Strangebrew videos on You Tube and I’m laughing the rest of my IQ away. Way to go Ade!

Fig 3: Erning

In conclusion: Erning is hot. Yeah.

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