‘Merry Christmas Na’ by 1:43, Review

It’s no secret that however wonderful the internet may be, 90% of the things in it are crap. This crap that comprises a huge part of the internet ranges from the mediocre to horrible. In fact, anyone who’s spent more than three hours on it will be desensitized from shitty stuff for life. However, every now and then, something comes out that is so absolutely stupid and bad that it loops back to being hilarious. We feel a bit of our soul dying as we enjoy watching the worst humanity has to offer, but we can’t just stop.

This video, by Filipino boy band 1:43, is one of those things.

Joining me in this review, where we analyze the video and reflect its implication in OPM’s future, is Comicgasm co-editor and, well, owner (he just lets me write shit for free), RJ.

RJ: Dude, 90% of the internet is porn. Why aren’t we talking about porn? We should talk about porn. Oh yeah, before we start embarrassing ourselves, I would like to say that I was FORCED into doing this! :E Why would you even do this, Ade? WHY? D:

Ade: A few hours ago I caught myself humming the chorus of that song as I was walking home. And I was bobbing my head to it. I didn’t want to be the only one with that horrible song in my head, so I looked for someone to share the pain with, RJ. And you’re a funny writer.

RJ: You’re just taking advantage of my kind-hearted demeanor. And maybe this is your way of taking revenge for all those times I sent you pics of hot women with penises.

Ade: Actually, you’re just my most gullible friend. Ok, review? Write for free?

RJ: 2 handjobs or no deal.

Ade: K.


Ganito pala ang feeling ng paskong may ka loving

Ade: I know that k-pop is really huge right now. I mean, I see it everywhere, I hear it everywhere, and apparently there were concerts filled to the brim with hot hormonal women throwing their panties away at a moment’s notice. I believe that it’s because the singers are, well, hot. They’re probably talented, but their music is mostly mediocre, the lyrics are unintelligible (YOU MEAN I HAVE TO LEARN A WHOLE NEW LANGUAGE?), and there’s really nothing appealing about the songs. But throw in the Wondergirls…

Ade: … and I find myself watching that accursed “Nobody” video on loop for hours on end.

RJ: I never really cared about k-pop until very recently. Mostly because of one video that has 5 petite korean girls shaking their butts every 30 seconds. And, after getting their discography; I never really got into the other songs until I saw the other videos, coz they’re all shaking and dancing and being HOT and all. The music is like an added bonus. Just like all pop music, except in Korean. And with hot Korean girls. Dancing. Yeah.

Ade: So, I believe the reason k-pop has a following in these parts is that artists themselves sell. Not, you know, the music. The reason I’m writing that long-ass discourse is because I’m really trying hard to find a way to sugarcoat the fact that 1:43’s song sucks. But I can’t, so I’m just saying it. It fucking sucks.


I thought cold December nights again ang gift ni Santa para sa akin

RJ: Dammit, I thought we were gonna talk about k-pop and and Korean chicks in general? D:

Ade: No, we’re here to talk about a bunch of guys wearing their pants so tight they have cameltoes.

RJ: Yes, Ade. I needed to see that. D:

Ade: So, what do you think of the lyrics? They’re so fucking profound. I mean, lines like “Para kang parol sa aking bubong,” make absolutely no sense, yet they burn themselves in your mind and you go crazy trying to understand what the hell that means. I seriously can’t figure out if the broken taglish was done on purpose to sound like it was written by a Korean who only had Google Translate at his disposal or if it was indeed written by a Korean who had only Google Translate at his disposal.


My heart so very happy umaga hanggang gabi

RJ: DUDE, one of them is named Yuki. YUKI. How gay is that? And GOLD? Really? Did they really choose their stage names? What if those are their real names? Anjo, Kim, Yuki (LOL) and Gold! And together, they are.. ONE FOUR THREE! Oh god, why are we doing this again?

Ade: … man, that picture above is exactly how my face looked like when I read their names. Here’s a question: is the video out of sync with the audio or are they just really sucky at lipsyncing? I don’t think it’s technical, because if you mute it and remove 1:43 and focus on the hot girls, the video’s actually well-made. Well, anything is going to end up well-made if you take 1:43 out of the picture, but I doubt the lipsync snafu’s a post-prod error.

RJ: Nah, they’re just trying too hard to smile while lipsynching. WAIT, THE SONG HAS LYRICS?

Ade: Yes, check out the lyrics, GameOps helpfully compiled it for us.

Ade: Why is that guy so mad at that girl for giving him a gift?

RJ: Maybe that’s his rape face? Or he’s just constipated? Or both!

Ade: Wait, have you noticed the dancing? I’m not a fan of Rain, but I think he’s a great dancer. Heck, he faced off against Colbert in a dance-off and that makes him awesome in my book. 1:43, on the other hand, aren’t even trying. I’ve seen epileptics pull off better moves while in the middle of a seizure.


Tayo’y mangagsiawit ng magagandang himig coz you and I we’re pag-ibig

RJ: Rain dancing? Check this out! He even wears a Saiyan armor from Dragon Ball Z! Here, have a GIF.

Ade: Anyway, my point is, if you’re going to be in a fucking boy band, you need to dance. Heck, even Steps had better coordination than these guys. Don’t tell us that they’re just a singing group, because you don’t make a “singing group” USE FUCKING AUTOTUNE FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING SONG.

RJ: Maybe if they had made a slightly decent song instead of an incomprehensible, taglish gibberish of a song, the music video could have been less-horrible! And I’m not sure if they know that they’re using “pacute’” choreography stolen from similar to FEMALE k-pop groups.

Ade: Wait, Rain is a female k-pop group?

RJ: Yes. He is. My attempts at leading this discussion towards real k-pop groups is working! Yes!


Merry Christmas na sa aking puso

Ade: Anyway, if this is going to start a trend in local music similar to the way Lito Camo made double-meaning novelty songs a mainstream thing for half a decade, we’re fucked.

RJ: Remember when local TV stations tried to ride on the k-pop wave by making local versions? P-pop? I’m not sure who’s behind it all, but somewhere out there..someone is laughing. At us. They gets to troll an entire country (and some internet communities) and potentially get rich(er) at the same time? GENIUS!


Para kang parol sa aking bubong

Ade: All you need to do is to find a bunch of oriental-looking kids who don’t mind losing their dignity, write a crappy song aping k-pop, complete with the broken grammar, and you’re set for life! I suddenly miss The Sexbomb Dancers for some reason.

RJ: Yeah, I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Ade. I don’t even know why we’re doing this in the first place! I could be watching KARA shake their bums right now, but you made me watch this stupid video! :E


Sarap ng monita la-Christmas bonita angel ka sinta

Ade: If you wake up tomorrow humming that song, then my work here is done.

RJ: God dammit, Ade! From now on, I won’t specify if the pics I send you are real girls or not anymore! :E

Ade: … fuck.

Strangely, this post generated hate mail even before it was written. Some screencaps were blatantly stolen from Abby, and I blame Thysz for showing me the video in the first place. You can like 1:43’s Facebook page here (thanks for the link, Rico!), if you dare. Thanks, guys. Cause love mo ko.

Incoming search terms: cameltoe tight

Ade

Blogging since 2003. Social Media monkey. Bassist for the indie-pop band RomCom.

  • http://www.larrycayco.blogspot.com Larry

    What if we really are *gasp* CLOSET FANS?

    • http://iamkeysi.com keysi

      Good thing I didn't watch the fucking video. I'm so sorry, but you guys are alone in this one. This time only. Also, LOL.

  • http://chewyside.tumblr.com Chu

    GOOD JOB! We're pag-ibig <3

  • spits

    Dude, this is fucking GOLD(mon)EN!!!

  • http://www.riajose.com Ria Jose

    WHY DID I WATCH THAT VIDEO?!

    AND WHY WAS THAT GUY PISSED OFF WHEN THE GIRL GAVE HIM A GIFT!

    THIS IS IN ALL CAPS COZ I HAD A LONG DAY AND THIS IS NOT THE WAY I WANTED TO END IT. PFFFFFFFFFFFFT! *facepalm*

  • http://fruityoaty.com Massa P

    Aaaaaaacccccckkkk. I would like 1 minute and 43 seconds of my life back.

  • http://maudesavenueofthoughts.blogspot.com Maude

    I wanted to watch it just so I'll know where the hate is coming from but after reading the comments, I'm thankful I didn't hit the play button too early. Haha.

    Seriously, I wonder why girls are going gaga over k-pop boybands! I even have a guy friend posting shoutouts about it. Well, maybe he's gay. And for a Filipino group to try to be like them is just so freakin' annoying.

  • Joel Avatari

    My wife is a big k-pop fan and she made me sleep on the couch when I showed her this vid.

    Thanks a lot, Ade. You owe me sex!

    • sdfasd

      that's stupidity…. hahaha.. by this vid?? are you sure? hahaha.. you make laugh! haha..

  • http://jepoy.bengero.com jepoy
  • http://suburbandude.tumblr.com suburbandude

    WTF is this shit?! And the worst part is, since this is a seasonal song, this will do a McArthur every gudamn Christmas season, year after year! Suddenly, Pasko Na Sinta Ko just became a little bit tolerable.

  • harold cortez

    Hahahaha! This is indeed a discourse. You made a big deal out of them.

    By the looks of it, these guys have the power to get your attentions. And in this era when getting noticed is very difficult, you may hate it but they are going to be BIG.

    • pinggol

      agree ako sa 'yo harold. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS GROUP? ganun ba nila kayang i-threaten ang music industry natin? eh XLR8 nga na pasimuno ng PPOP walang nagawa kasi maliit lang talaga ang followers ng OPM. and viva meron pang POP GIRLS, EAURASIA, at RPM. lahat yun mga trying hard na magmukhang KPOP at kinukopya mismo ang tunog ng KPOP. yun well-funded ang promotion at may fan base na. bakit di pinapansin?

      dahil sa blog na to at nakikilala ang 1:43. meaning, writing this is actually helping them. sabi nga nila, bad publicity is still publicity. galit ka sa kanila pero tinutulungan mo silang makilala. ganun lang yun.

      • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

        Also,you two are the same person. Funny.

        • http://thegreatest.tumblr.com thegreatest

          That's what happens when two guys on top of each other are using the same laptop.

          • http://soul.beyondeternal.com Euri

            Did I hear YAOI? ?

      • Ethan

        I remember you wearing black and white. You hate wearing colorful fashionable clothes because you just dont wanna be compare to a korean. LAME

        • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

          How can you remember me when you haven't even met me yet? MY MIND IS BLOWN HALP

  • http://pocketnoelle.blogspot.com Noelle

    I think I'll just Rickroll myself instead of watching this video. :P

    • http://mistervader.com Mistervader

      Don't you DARE diss the Rickroll!

  • http://nansan.tumblr.com NAN

    I say 1:43 for Meiday!

    • http://nothingspaces.com Carina

      OMG PLEASE.

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      YES, SINCE THEY'RE CALLING THEMSELVES AN INDIE BOY BAND! BUT BEFORE THAT WE NEED TO WATCH THEM THIS SATURDAY AT MASTER SHOWMAN~

  • http://leonkevlar.tumblr.com Leon

    Thank God I read this before watching the video. You guys just spared my ears from eternal torture I just hope that I won't hear this song on my morning bus ride to school tomorrow. :(

  • G

    I…I lost faith in humanity.

    Can we just bury this video and forget THIS ever happened?

  • talkshit

    SHUT UP!!! talkshits all of you! hahahaah

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      talkshits all of you
      talkshits all of you
      talkshits all of you
      talkshits all of you
      talkshits all of you
      talkshits all of you
      talkshits all of you

      K.

    • http://jepoy.bengero.com jepoy

      A honor to be called talkshits all of you since a lot of stuffs are on the internets. k.

    • http://rico.mossesgeld.com Rico

      Talkshits ba youuuuuu?

  • Jessica

    Dude, WHAT THE HELL?!

    I feel raped and abandoned in an uninhabited place because of this video. I trusted you when you said "i figured you'd like this sort of thing", and to my horror! The video… THE F*CKIN' VIDEO IS UNBEARABLE! My sister locked herself up in her room and told me never to come near her again when I showed this to her.

    That's it. I'm calling my lawyer.

  • http://pinkingrid.blogspot.com pinkingrid

    Oh my Ade… haha merry Christmas na sa aking pusoo-oooh

  • http://malabo.tumblr.com RJ

    So wait, Gold and Yuki are their REAL names? GoldMON and Takayuki?

    Really? REALLY?

    Why would a dude call himself Yuki? Isn't that a girl's name?

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      Well, he has a cameltoe, so…

    • http://soul.beyondeternal.com Euri

      No, Yuki actually can be used by guys. It's a name for both genders. It has different meanings depending on how it is written.

      ? – happiness

      ? – snow

      ?? (ki) – valuable reason (or something)

      ? – chronicle

      ?

      • http://soul.beyondeternal.com Euri

        My CJK characters turned ? T_____T

  • Nightdreamer

    Ade, when it's guys it's not "cameltoe". It's "camelballs".

    I did not make that up I swear!

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      I heard that others call it "mooseknuckles" as well. Oh lawd, this is so much fun.

      • Nightdreamer

        Isn't "moose-knuckles" a fatter cameltoe? Oh well I'd stick with cameltoe. The person at the center dresses and styles hair like a pussy anyway.

  • http://daniaustria.blogspot.com Dani

    DEMMIT! I'm trying to wash away this song with Justin Bieber. It's in my heeeead.

    • http://www.ianoroceo.com Ian Oroceo

      uhmmm ill just ask some albularyo to brain wash me rather listening to bieber hahahaha

      but damn it! the song! WTF! go 1:43! LOLOLOL

  • http://winterheim.com Mark

    I am sooo tempted to play back this song out loud in the office and wait for the lynch mob that would be my entire staff. Hehehe~!

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      You need to do the awkward <del>swaying</del> dancing during the rap part.

  • http://theunfathomabledelirium.blogspot.com Brian

    HAHAHA. Even the video of their song swims in stupidity. God, the couch scenes are so lulz.

  • Ethan

    Well so much, ppop gets lame. But not so bad after all. Trying to be TAGLISH is trying to be HANGENG. Funny but why do you not always find to see that they are just the same. Mas masarap lang ang tunog koreano coz its imported. I remember my SOCIOLOGY class when my professor says that FILIPINOS are XENOCENTRICS. I remember my FILIPINO class when my professor says that KOREANS are mabaho.

    The same way as DITCH IN THE OTHERS GARDEN OR DITCH YOUR OWN IF THE OTHERS GARDEN IS AS CLEAN AS GREEN.

    • Bea

      Ditch in the others garden or ditch your own if the others garden is as clean as green.

      Okay.

    • Abby

      HANGENG. Lol wtf does this even mean?

  • Ethan

    How could you say that its just a humor when in fact your ditching lives of others. LAME BAD HORRIFIC YET BESTIAL ATTITUDE.

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      OMG BIG WORDS STRUNG TOGETHER IN A WAY THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL I AM SCARED

      • http://nothingspaces.com Carina

        I AGREE. FOREVER.

    • http://blog.ditz-revolution.net Helga

      I BET YOU'RE THE DUDE WHO WROTE THE MERRY CHRISTMAS NA SONG OMG OMG OMG PENGENG AUTOGRAPH

      • http://jepoy.bengero.com jepoy

        LULZ!

  • Ethan

    I just remember DJ MO in all of this mess.

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      K.

    • http://Thegreatest.tumblr.com Thegreatest

      O Baka naman ang BJ mo?

  • Ethan

    I'm not a songwriter, anyway. Freedom make people fools for they know that they could do anything they want.

    NUTS

  • Ethan

    What I mean is, people could say anything they want to say.

    But they do not realize they are not really part of something but they just wanna be in it, like GATECRASHERS, LIKE ENTERING A PARTY WITHOUT CONSENT. That's the worst idea the HUMAN KIND had been invented to do. Cause they want food, or they just want to throw the party down.

    • http://theunfathomabledelirium.blogspot.com Brian

      We know what gatecrashing mean.

      Also, what?

  • Ethan

    Anyway, suggestion. Try to find the meaning of Hoot (?) – by SNSD and Mach (??) – by Rainbow. Its also nonsense.

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      I suggest that you take that penis out of your mouth so we can understand what you're saying.

  • Ethan

    Nagkamali pala ako ng pinuntahan, lugar pala to ng mga papansin. XENXA NA PO. :D

  • Ethan

    Gustong maki-ride sa pagsikat ng iba. HERMIT CRAB

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      Oh, Ethan, you are an endless source of quotable LULZ.

      • Ethan

        Hermit Crab – simply isang klase ng crab na parang pagong, which means may

        pasang bahay sa likod para makapagtago tapos mangangagat ng kahit na sinong

        di niya gusto (dahil sa nakaharang). Hahaha. Ugaling pinoy, laging PULL THE

        OTHERS DOWN FOR THEM TO CLIMB UP, PATHETIC

        • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

          Thank you for explaining what a hermit crab is! You know, for people who don't know how to Wikipedia that shit. You deserve a medal!

  • Enzo

    I still can't get over the "parol sa aking bubong". But I think the rap part had an endless amount lulz. 3 kings and dating, kill me now X_X

  • Cheche Bureche

    Oh my god this is so awesome thanks for introducing them to me! Love the camel toe part! Soft porn! Bwahahaha.

  • Cheche Bureche

    I changed my mind. This is actually the most hideous thing I have ever seen. Especially that part where they try to dance and end up looking like retarded fish out of the tank.

  • Kay

    I think I've watched the video 4 times now tor the lulz.

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      Hai faiv!

  • Kay

    Been to their FB fan page. Apparently they are JUST a singing group hence the distinction between OPM pop and Ppop. The former, possibly, containing Ppop aspirants who failed the dancing requirements. Their administrator said they didn't dance and that we would find out why soon. My first thought was,"because they can't?" :|

  • Ethan

    Hello, I'm here again. I really found you pathetic. Pikon ka na. :D

    • http://www.facebook.com/shinjiiii Shinji Manlangit

      MERRY CHRISTMAS ETHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

    • http://blog.ademagnaye.com Ade

      Oh, Ethan, I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charms.

  • http://heavenhoney.blogspot.com AMAY

    It's hard to accept that there are people who will do everything to earn even it could create a not-so-good/shitty result. Dress like Koreans, act, dance and sing like them, I'm not a fan of K-Pop but I can accept them more than Pinoy imitating them.
    This blog has been posted last year pa, and I hope that I will never ever hear any songs from you 143. Stands for I HATE YOU? HAHAHA
    My recent post Upgraded version

  • http://heavenhoney.blogspot.com AMAY

    It's hard to accept that there are people who will do everything to earn even it could create a not-so-good/shitty result. Dress like Koreans, act, dance and sing like them, I'm not a fan of K-Pop but I can accept them more than Pinoy imitating them.

  • sasa

    I read this every Christmas season.

%d bloggers like this:
Read previous post:
Inner Child Therapy: Life and Other Aimless Stuff

Hello readers! Yes, the both of you. I know I haven't been able to update as much as I wanted,...

Close