Noisy Noisy Man

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Manna From Heaven?



We just got this from a neighbor:

If you’re wondering what that stuff is, it’s called Hemin and it’s supposedly the bread of Padre Pio.

The bread is called Hemin. It is the bread of Padre Pio and it comes from the Vatican. It brings good luck to every family that eats it.

Benj received the same dough a few days ago, and he’s, to put it bluntly, grossed out. According to the leaflet that came with the goo, you have to let it stand for a few days, add flour, milk, and sugar, and then bake it. Then eat the baked fermented dough. Also, you have to leave a small portion of the dough to ferment and give it away to the next unsuspecting victim devotee. (BTW, I didn’t take a picture of the stuff, so I googled it and found a pic here.)


I’m a devout Catholic (stop laughing, will you?!), but that’s stupid. This entire scheme smells fishy. Actually, it’s moldy, but screw you. God knows how long that bread has been in circulation. For all we know somebody from the Ebola-laden wetlands of Africa sneezed into the dough before it got to us.

But unlike some people who just followed the gramatically-incorrect instructions blindly, I did some research. You see, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna eat that. This is what I found out:

A friend approached me a little more than a week ago about this bread and asked if I would accept a portion to make and then give to 3 more friends.

I accepted, knowing that this was nothing more than the Amish Friendship Bread that made the rounds back in the 70’s.

Yesterday I received my portion along with the accompaning letter about the bread and the directions.

As I had suspected, it is exactly the same recipe as the Amish Friendship Bread.

Also,

It is a spiritual fallacy/false belief and there is no recommendation coming from Italy about it nor from San Giovanni Rotundo which is the monastery where Padre Pio lived and died.

Taken from here.

So there. Don’t eat the bread. Don’t spread it around. That’s thing a hoax. Or, as to quote Noelle, “You’ve been H0AX0RRR333D!!1111one”.

Also, another reason I’m so disturbed about this dough is that this stuff reminds me of something entirely else:

25 Comments

  1. Im sure it has actual fecal matter from padre pio himself.

    Im surprised that the bread doesnt come with threats really – unlike the old St. Jude of Thaddeus chain letters that cite George Estregan Sr. as someone who didn't continue the chain.

    three cheers for christianity. wehehe

  2. [quote comment="19673"]Im sure it has actual fecal matter from padre pio himself.

    Im surprised that the bread doesnt come with threats really – unlike the old St. Jude of Thaddeus chain letters that cite George Estregan Sr. as someone who didn't continue the chain.

    three cheers for christianity. wehehe[/quote]

    Yeah. The George Estregan bullshit found on every chain letter ever made.

  3. You do know that the meaning of "manna" is literally "What is it?" right?

    OMG I've been Qu0T3Zz0R3DDDLOLZ!

  4. You have 10 days to observe your neighbors. If they all come down with food poisoning within that period, then by all means, don't share the dough and eat it all for your self.

  5. Note to self: Must avoid devout, over-zealous Catholics!!!111exclamation

    Anyhoo, thanks for the heads up.

    Oh, and, "Soylent Green is people!".

  6. Err, who in their right sane mind would eat that? I mean I'm a semi-devout Catholic myself, but this is just, err, irksomely strange. No offense or anything.

    I've never even heard about this prior to reading your blog. But belief has no boundaries anyway.

  7. Hey, we also got that one from a neighbor.

    I'm not shitting on anyone's beliefs but my first impression was "Hemin: The New Spam."

  8. one question:

    what if someone gives you Hemin after you've baked it? The two orders in the letter (it cant be refused and it can only be made once) can't be followed given this scenario.

    I guess that means you're going to hell.

  9. Hear hear! Cheers for Christianity. I wonder who been dumb enough to actually eat the bread? ;)

  10. Whether I'm Catholic or not, I'm not pathetically stupid to eat or cook that.

    First, I don't know how to bake except toasting breads and second, I don't know understand baking instructions. Whether you put it on Korean or Filipino, whatever.

    And threats? Geez. Unless it came out of my mother. ^_^

  11. hmm, interesting batter…

    hahaha soylent green!! nice one…but as they say, human meat is the most nutritious meat for us humans, and easiest to digest…

    geez, i wish someone would eat the thing and blog about it…

  12. add milk and wait for 4-5 days before baking? WHAT TEH!?

    I remembered the fungal-like organism that my granduncle brought a few years back. It "feeds" on a liquid that smells like beer and "replicates" itself within a few days. The "new" organism should be given to others and they should also gave the organism's whatever. I think it was called "Gargasok" or something like that…

    Stupid people.

  13. cyberpunk: I know a blogger who has tried it. He has yet to blog about it though. Wahaha. I dont even think he's that into the christian thing. I'll ask him to write about it. hahahaha.

  14. Since its a hoax, how about dipping hotdogs in that stuff and then roasting it to make corndogs? :P

    And just in time for ash wednesday!

  15. Good thing my neighbors doesn't like "sharing" stuffs. Or else, I might have thrown that thing in his own backyard.

  16. looked like flour or mayonnaise :D

  17. it could come in handy during the upcoming elections. some people would be needing a lot of paste.

  18. that's definitely like eating those molds and mildews from the bathroom tiles… quick, throw that domex or mr.muscle and lemme drink it!

  19. For goodness sake!! You BAKE the bread! Any germs, etc. are KILLED in the baking process! If you don't trust the giver, don't take it!! And for the record, what is wine, whiskey, bread, but something left to sit, rot, ferment and become something else. Alcohol kills most germs, so drink your fermented wine with your ferment ed bread and be done with it!

  20. onga naman! Ü

  21. i don't believe this hoax. this does not even have (or will not even have) the imprimatur of the Vatican or the CBCP.

  22. Well, my neighbor gave it to me & both she and her mother-in-law actually cooked it and all said it was a very tasty bread…….they didn't get sick or die. I am on my 9th day, and while I question it, the main thing is that it is actually a novena. If you do not believe in the power of prayer, then that is your choice, but you shouldn't mock others who do believe!

  23. I believe this is the Pinoy (or Catholic) version of the AMISH FRIENDSHIP BREAD (which is American). What you get is actually a sourdough starter (made from flour and water) which is left to ferment. The starter becomes the environment where wild yeast can grown. You feed it periodically with a sugar-milk-flour combination. On the 10th day, you divide it into 4 parts and bake 1 part for yourself. You're supposed to share the 3 parts with others. There's another bread starter called HERMAN SOURDOUGH STARTER which is fed within 15 days, something like that. No prayers or incantantations or good luck or bad luck. Go through any bread baking book or blog and you'll read about sourdough starters. It's just a way to make sweet bread without using any yeast. Google it!

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