WARNING: Crappy entry ahead. What. I have a migraine.

So I was going to sit down and write another installment of Down the Highway, but this stupid headache won’t let me. It’s like two rock creatures were fucking with abandon in my head.

Okay, maybe that analogy may be a little too much. I guess the story of my migraine started off with a pebble. Let’s call the pebble Frank. So Frank was sitting on the ground one sunny morning. It was just there, minding his own business, being cute and pebble-like. Well that was until this truck rolled in and crushed the stupid pebble.


Frank’s family was devastated when they learned of his untimely demise

The truck’s doors opened and out stepped this dude named Frankie (ah, yes, a migraine really gets me creative with names) who was then hit by a rolling boulder that came out of nowhere. I dunno where it came from, there were no mountains nearby to cause landslides. Just fucking chalk it up to Deus Ex Machina or something, ok?

Anyway. Frankie, who earlier fucked with Frank the pebble, got turned into road pizza courtesy of that boulder who I’m tempted to call Franklin, but naming boulders is a silly thing to do. So we’ll just call it “boulder.”


The boulder not named Franklin

So this boulder was rolling along this dirt road, all being boulder-like when a UFO floated on top of it and took it. With a beam of light. The stupid boulder just floated along since it was too heavy to be carried up by the beam into the UFO. The aliens, disappointed that they can’t do experiments (fun stuff like enemas) on the rock, dropped it. It promptly landed on a house.

So I don’t know where I’m going to end up with this boulder thing. I wanted to put in an epic space war between two alien races, only to be interrupted by The Beatles showing up and singing “All You Need Is Love” while wearing straw skirts. Then the aliens would step out of their ships and hug it out. Then they all realize that they’re in space. Space is a fucking vaccum. They all explode.

exploding man
… what.

But you know what the twist is? My headache doesn’t feel like any of these things. The pain I’m feeling right now can be compared to Cotto after Manny Pacquiao’s landed a million fists of doom. Of course, by “a million fists of doom” I actually mean “twenty hours of non-stop singing of ‘Para Sa ‘Yo‘ with a megaphone wired directly into my inner ear.”

Just in case you needed to know how that feels like

Anyway, this headache has defeated me. I’ll wanna go rest for a while, but I’ll probably end up banging my head against the wall while crying like a baby. Yeah, that’ll cure my migraine.

What about you guys, what do you do when you have an epically bad headache like this one?