Hai gais. My name’s David Hasselhoff. I’m here to inform you that much to my regret, Ade has been taken over by a nasty case of writer’s block and has problems updating his blog.

So he asked me to fill in for him. Oh joy! You and I will be spending quality time together!

I mean, think of the possibilities. We can talk about Baywatch, Knight Rider, swimming trunks, and banana guards.

Hi my name is Steven Seagal and just like David here I’ve been asked- GOOD LORD MAN DID YOU JUST SAY BANANA GUARDS?

Yes, I said banana guards. What.

You know, you could just call them condoms.

Yes, he really meant banana guards.

Well, whaddayaknow. This is fucked up.

Fucked up is right. What the fuck happened to you? Got tired of beating up your enemies and you decide to eat them instead?

Oh really? Says the guy with the exposed nipple.

Please don’t call me “nipple”. I have a name. I’m David Jr.
And you’re hurting my feelings.


Sorry bout that. He gets sensitive at times. No, David Jr., don’t you dare squirt milk on Steven!

That’s it. If I get to see Samuel L. Jackson in here dressed in a top hat I’m outta here-

Did somebody call my name?


Sorry bout the mess guys. I promise to write something more comprehensible this week.

Read More: