I always thought that the stereotypical iPhone user – the ones who do nothing but fiddle with their smartphones all day, tweeting or playing Angry Birds or whatever – was just that: a stereotype. I mean, what kind of idiot would go to a party, and ignore everyone there because those goddamn pigs need to be killed? Well, people, this idiot whose blog you’re reading just ended up being one of those people.

It started out that fateful day I decided to get myself an iPod touch for Christmas. Okay, I’ve been pining for one for the longest time, but I wanted somebody to give it to me. Since all my friends and blog readers (you and that other guy) are cheapskates, I ended up buying my own iPod touch. Buying the iPod was surreal, really. I remember it was payday, and then I found myself at home staring at a brand-new iPod and remembering distinctly that I had to start sucking dicks so I can afford to get to work the next day.

DON’T MISS:  Losing Weight... With Technology!

iPod touch

Granted, I’ve done this sort of impromptu purchasing of unnecessary stuff before, and it also ate at my social life, but at least the old ASUS Eee wasn’t as immersive – or as pretty – as the iPod touch. Hell no, I wouldn’t bring that ugly ASUS Eee everywhere – I still want to have women touching my bird. A typical night out with me goes something like this: everyone’s having fun, getting drunk on beer and stuff, while I sit in one corner, nursing my first beer of the night, playing Robot Unicorn Attack. Fun times.

This shit has to stop. I can’t not bring my music with me, because how the fuck am I going to endure the daily commute with no music blaring in my ears? I mean, I have to fucking endure the stench of humanity everyday, a little distraction is all I’m asking for. Japanese tentacle porn’s not exactly MRT-friendly material, so I have to settle for music. But when I have to actually interact (i.e. drinking) with people who don’t smell like a pigsty (i.e. people I actually like), I need to start hiding the iPod. The retina graphics are nice, really, but human interaction is better.

DON’T MISS:  Christmas Gift Ideas for Your Geeky Friend (Who May or May Not Be Named Ade)

I’m afraid a huge deficit of human interaction might turn me into an axe murderer or something.

Now if you excuse me, I’ll have to take out my iPod and tweet this realization. And ignore everyone around me in the process.

Smartphone users, has the same thing happened to you? Tell everyone about it in the comments!