There was a time I was pretty much obsessed with zombies. I really loved the whole trope, and I pretty much breezed through movies, TV shows, books, games, and comics that featured them. But you know, everything can hit saturation point, and I was done with zombies ages ago.

Still, when Goat Simulator developer Coffee Stain Studios announced the GoatZ DLC, I found myself jumping in with no hesitation. Heck, I love Goat Simulator. It’s buggy, sure, but it’s charming and I can find myself playing the stupid game for hours on end and I’d still find something funny about it at the end of the day.

So I grabbed a copy of GoatZ on release date, loaded it up on my trusty Xperia Z3, and played away. How’d I find GoatZ? Read on for the rest of my GoatZ Android review.

Just so you know, I’m reviewing the Android version of GoatZ, so I can’t speak for PC users.

Still buggy as fuck

Good news: they kept the bugs. You can sigh in relief now. All the crazy physics are still there. Cars still explode. You can still drag people around when you lick them. And most importantly, the goat’s fucking neck still stretches whenever you make it climb ladders.

Goat Simulator GoatZ

I swear, I just lose it whenever I see that fucking neck.

However, this game introduces big changes to the Goat Simulator formula. Before, you just wander around the map, wreaking havoc while getting achievements like “Michael Bay” for blowing up an entire gas station. There’s just no way your goat can die, no matter how high a fall you subject it to.

It’s like DayZ, but with goats

This all changes with GoatZ. The main gaming mode, Survival, now has a health bar so when you’re head-butting zombies you have to dodge their attacks and not die. There’s also a hunger bar which drains pretty quickly – you have to find food pretty much all the time, or else your goat starves to death. Fortunately, whenever you defeat zombies you will be provided with their brains for much-needed sustenance.

So I was just walking around when the ground literally swallowed me up alive.

So I was just walking around when the ground literally swallowed me up alive.

One more thing – you can also pick up items and “craft” some weapons out of them. The weapons themselves range from pretty silly (a bubble gum machine bazooka) to the useless (a rocket launcher that only honks; and I got this when 20 zombie goats attacked me – obviously, this lead to me dying). I still haven’t figured out how to discard weapons that you don’t need.

Chillin’ with the undead

There’s also a Casual Mode where you don’t have to worry about your hunger or health bars. You’ll be just a zombie goat, chilling in the zombie apocalypse with your fellow undead. Basically, this is the original Goat Simulator experience but with zombies.

As with the original Goat Simulator, doing different stunts will help you gain achievements, and getting enough achievements will let you unlock skins. I am laughing my ass off at my current favorite, the Fake Goat skin:

Meet Steve.

Meet Steve.

Gameplay videos, yay!

Anyway, here’s a gameplay videos for GoatZ. I played in casual mode because I am a filthy pleb and I just wanna show the crazy physics of this game.

And here’s one where a car just drags my goat throughout the entire map:

Yes, I know GoatZ sounds uncomfortably close to Goatse. Yes, I know it might actually be on purpose. And yes, the game is out for less than a week and the joke is getting old already. Come on, internet.

So what do you think of GoatZ? Are you going to get it for yourself or are you gonna wait?

Download GoatZ for Android here and here. If you want it on iOS, here you go.

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