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Ade’s Christmas Wish List 2008

Ade — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 15:09:39 +0000

Well lookee here. November is about to come to an end and that means it’s almost time to usher in December. And when December comes, it’s time to bring your your wallets and crack open your bank accounts, because it’s Christmas shopping season! (As a side note, “Christmas shopping” is the one phrase that probably brings out an unanimous “Yay!” from the kiddies and a spontaneous “OH SHIT THERE GOES MY MONEY!” from parents all over the world.)

Also, for those of us fortunate enough to run blogs (you know, those assholes we call “bloggers” - those who have LiveJournals not included), Christmas presents a perfect opportunity for us bloggers who are suffering from a severe case of writer’s block. You see, Christmas can spawn a million blog ideas, and this is also a perfect way to appeal to our readers sense of charity and generosity by creating wish lists. Also, guilt: you see, some bloggers make it a point to make fools of themselves on the web just for the entertainment of their readers. So in return for the year-long embarassment and entertainment they give, it’s kind of nice to have any of this gifts in return. Don’t you think? (This is the part where you agree, you ingrates)

Also, let me point your attention to my Christmas Wish List from last year, and guess how many items I got from them? None. So these are the things I want this Christmas. I mean, the things I want aside from Sora Aoi.

(...)
Read the rest of Ade’s Christmas Wish List 2008 (286 words)

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Post tags: 2008, cellphone, christmas, cookbook, expensive, pirate, pirate ship, sora aoi, tacky, this, vertu, wish list

When They Say the Chicken Is Hot, They Frickin’ Mean It.

Ade — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 16:14:31 +0000

The girlfriend and I love this quaint little restaurant near her school. The place serves awesome pasta, ginormous porkchops, and their specialty, buffalo wings. You see, I love buffalo wings. If there was a kid in chicken wing school who bullied all those nerdy asthmatic chicken wings and gave them wedgies, it must be the buffalo wings. I swear, they have an almost genetic advantage in terms of awesomeness over all those plain stupid fried chicken wings. And let’s not get started on how wimpy and lame-ass tinola wings are. Sheesh.

Anyway, for the longest time, their menu has piqued my curiosity. Okay, anything with food names written on it makes me curious and horny, but you didn’t need to know that. So my point is that this restaurant serves the most number of buffalo wing variations ever. All my life I thought that there was only one kind of buffalo wings, and that it is heavenly enough already.

Turns out I’ve been living a lie all along. You see, there are four varieties of buffalo wings. And one of them is called “Wild”. Yes, wild. Like your mom last night.(...)
Read the rest of When They Say the Chicken Is Hot, They Frickin’ Mean It. (373 words)

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Post tags: buffalo wings, chicken, food, girlfriend, hot, mushroom cloud, restaurant, spicy, wild, yo momma

Bugsy The Talking Bunny

Ade — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 04:58:30 +0000

Random memory from 18 years ago:

Apparently, I thought I was born in the year of the rabbit and had a strange obsession with the animal. Hell, I even thought my buck teeth were indicative of the fact that I am a rabbit made man (let’s keep away from the awkward furry implications from that last statement and we’d all be happy campers, people). Anyway, this strange obsession with rabbits made 7-year old me go hop around the house and make rabbit noises. This apparently drove my folks crazy, because next thing I knew they bought me a big white rabbit. No, really, the rabbit was fucking huge.(...)
Read the rest of Bugsy The Talking Bunny (570 words)

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Post tags: 7 years old, embarassing, im probably losing my inheritance as i write this, lol, memory, pets, rabbit, talking rabbit

Caption Contest (Because I’m Out Of Ideas)

Ade — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 03:26:07 +0000

Okay, I’m seriously running low on brain juice here. And I don’t want to force myself in writing another half-baked lame-ass blog entry that’s only half funny (see, I’ve been doing that for months now). So now I’m gonna do a Chickenmafia when they run out of blog ideas: run a caption contest.

So all you have to do is to stare at that picture below, and post a caption via a comment! Like seriously, it’s that easy.

Best caption wins a million points. I don’t know what those million points can do, but it might help you get laid. I don’t know.

So, comment away and give me your captions!

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Post tags: caption this, chickenmafia, contest, funny, million points, pictures

NaNoWriMo, Fanfiction

Ade — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:32:39 +0000

It’s almost November, and I just realized that it’s quite near NaNoWriMo time. You know, that thing where everyone tries to write a novel in the span of one month, and brag to everyone on the internet and everyone within hearing distance that they’ve written a novel. You see, I haven’t participated in NaNoWriMo because of one small insignificant factoid: I CAN’T FUCKING WRITE. Seriously.

But this year I think I wanna join NaNoWriMo and make up something, anything. But my last good idea for a novel was conceptualized a little over three years ago. It involved a flying raccoon (named “Rocky”) and an evil overweight guy with plans of world domination via a gigantic vibrating drill that will burrow its way into the earth’s core and rescue the devil from eternal imprisonment. The drill is powered by the fat guy’s prisoners, doomed to run on treadmills for all eternity. I’ve dreamed of the story to end with gigantic explosions, flying squids, and cats jumping all over the place. And the novel will close with the raccoon riding into the sunset, surrounded by five bikini-clad hot women. And they’ll end up having an orgy. Awesome, right?

Sadly, I haven’t started on this story because whenever I start to tell people about my grand plans for this world-shattering epic, I get raised eyebrows and lots of “WTF?” along with “Whatever you’ve been smoking, Ade, you better not take it anymore.”(...)
Read the rest of NaNoWriMo, Fanfiction (528 words)

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Post tags: anne frank, carmen sandiego, fanfiction, half-life, hardy boys, murphy brown, NaNoWriMo, rocky horror picture show, south park, zorro

Last.fm is Robbing me of my Dignity

Ade — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:46:27 +0000

So the other day I got me a Last.fm account, mainly because I want to be cool and shit. Also, joining a 3-year old social network that everyone else is tired of is, well, how I roll. Shut up. Anyway, I wanted to prove to my friends how badass and awesome my musical taste is, so Last.fm would showcase my awesome indie playlist, full of Cloud Cult and other bands that you couldn’t even pronounce. Also some bands you haven’t heard of. (Because I made them up) Besides, a bassist like me should have a testimony of his coolness on the interwebs, somewhere. That could get me laid with an indie girl somewhere. And I could say I’m friends with John Lennon.

This picture was totally not modified in any way

I digress.(...)
Read the rest of Last.fm is Robbing me of my Dignity (340 words)

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Post tags: Barbara Streisand, failures, hall and oates, last.fm, music, playlist, retardicity, rock, the beatles, WTF IS THIS SHIT

Rants. Also, Sneezing

Ade — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 09:48:27 +0000

So I realized I’ve been ranting too much on this blog. Well, if you did spend the morning commute with some schmuck’s armpit stuck to your face, you’d probably be ranting as much as I would first thing when you open up your blog, but that’s beside the point. You see, I’ve had a few recent complaints about the world that I haven’t blogged about lately, like humongous people (you know, people fatter than me) who block my way when I’m walking in a very narrow alleyway (also, I was late for work too), the girlfriend staying in Bryan Adams territory for a couple of weeks (TMB peeps: your company, with lots of beer to pass the time, is highly appreciated), or the drugstores that put their prettiest salesladies near the condom shelf, ensuing hilarity and judging, piercing stares when I ~~go over and pick up one~~ look at the display out of curiosity.

(...)
Read the rest of Rants. Also, Sneezing (231 words)

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Post tags: cold, failures, girlfriend, rants, sneeze, sneezing

Meme: Names I Go By (BORING TITLE! HUZZAH!)

Ade — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:44:20 +0000

So I’ve been tagged by ~~Christine~~ The Jew. So you know, I’m really not into answering memes, but I’m fighting off a flu and my brain’s totally not functioning, so yeah, I’ll do a big case of the lazy and answer that meme.

Basically, the premise is simple: Share the different names that different people call you.

Adrian - this is what people who have known me since childhood (relatives, childhood friends, and Mang Loretto the tricycle driver) have called me.It’s on my frigging birth certificate, for crying out loud. How boring can my name get?
Ade - For the last four or five years, people have been calling me Ade. Basically, I want a shortened version of “Adrian” without sounding like a certain sickness a certain retired basketball player named Magic Johnson has. Okay, so I have a short-ass nickname. Who would’ve thought that people would find different ways to pronounce it?

So I’ve been called “Eeeyyyyd”.
Also, I’ve been called “Ah-deh”. This usually makes me cringe.
And people also use “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYHD!!!” this usually involves moments of strong emotion, like when I run away with your food or something.

People also call me other names, and I go by:(...)
Read the rest of Meme: Names I Go By (BORING TITLE! HUZZAH!) (174 words)

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Post tags: ade, adrian, gerald, gerard, jew, kring, meme, names, noelle, ozy, tahn, yel

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Ade — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 08:06:39 +0000

Before we go on, let me reiterate: October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Yeah, I’m pretty sure you know that by now, judging from the sheer number of blog entries on the topic. Honestly, as much as I would want to reiterate how important it is to be aware of this particular type of cancer, I feel that the internet has said more than enough on the topic. However, I am very much a big fan of breasts (especially the 38B kind) that it’ll be a shame to see this turn into this. Also, those last two links aren’t worksafe but I have a nagging feeling that you’ve figured that out by now.

Anyway, I really can’t stress enough how important breasts are. I’m not gonna turn my blog pink for October or anything, but I’d want you guys to know how breasts can and will liven up your day and make you happy, extremely happy. Or at least make you hide in the bathroom for a few minutes while you er… do the thumbs up. Repeatedly. Yeah.

THUMBS UP!

(...)
Read the rest of October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month (89 words)

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Post tags: boobs, breast cancer, breasts, october, pink, women

Down The Highway: An Advice Column For Emos - 10

Ade — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 14:19:06 +0000

Dear DtH,

My life is, like, so dark and lonely… It is one deep abyss and it calls out to me… I reach out, and hands touch the cold, cold wind of suffering…

It is yet another moment of my longing to free me from these shackles of eternal longing of happiness that I will never achieve… But I should probably just try to feel pain because I feel nothing anymore…

Wake me up from my reverie… and bring me back to the warmth of the day…

Happiness is… yet another illusion…

xXxXx_3m0-b0i_xXxXx

Dear xXxXx_3m0-b0i_xXxXx,

I probably need more time to understand what the fuck you’re talking about. Nice poetry by the way. (It IS poetry, right?)(...)
Read the rest of Down The Highway: An Advice Column For Emos - 10 (466 words)

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Post tags: advice column, caps lock, emo, friendster, sad, snark, wrist-slashing