Noisy Noisy Man » Specials

Globe Tatt Awards: Who Deserves To Win?

Ade — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 06:48:58 +0000

Most of us use social media sites like Twitter, Facebook and Google+ to procrastinate, communicate and catch up with our friends, but social media is, in recent years, growing beyond mere channels for mild amusement. For every useless Twitter hashtag like #ImproveFilmTitlesByAddingInMyPants, we have seen the outrage over the dancing kid on Willie Revillame’s show, among other things, thrive on social media.

This is what the Tatt Awards is all about. The Tatt Awards aim to shine the limelight on technophiles, video vamps, and ardent advocates for change, giving them the chance to be recognized for their passion to create, inspire and lead
in social media.

Here are the ten categories you can nominate the ones who you think deserve to be recognized for their work:

The One: the most influential trendsetter that shaped opinion, moved people and prompted action
Ballbreaker: a blogger or a Twitter user who started a debate, sparked conversations or a revolution of opinions with just one hard-hitting post
Stylisimo: a person that not only reviewed fashion but also set a trend one that everyone followed
Indie Rocker: a musical band or indie artist who fought hard to claim their space in the hearts of Filipino audience via webtime
Wordslayer: a blogger whose mastery of words showed wit, humor and grit to the Philippine blogosphere
Artiste: an inspiring person whose fiery passion for creating visual art through original graphic design, animation or photography has caught fire in the Philippine online art scene
Tech Junkie: a blogger, podcaster or Twitter user who shares access to the latest in trends and the fast pace world of e-knowledge
Thought-mover: a Twitter user who sparked a fire in the Philippine Twittersphere with one unique hashtag
Video Slinger: an individual or group who shook the Pinoy web space with thought-provoking or entertaining video.
The Advocate: a person or a group of individuals who worked to improve the state of societal cause in the Philippines through social media

Quick, nominate the ones you think are worthy to win in the first-ever Tatt Awards by going here: http://www.tattoo.globe.com.ph/tattawards/nominee-form

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‘Merry Christmas Na’ by 1:43, Review

Ade — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 19:44:08 +0000

It’s no secret that however wonderful the internet may be, 90% of the things in it are crap. This crap that comprises a huge part of the internet ranges from the mediocre to horrible. In fact, anyone who’s spent more than three hours on it will be desensitized from shitty stuff for life. However, every now and then, something comes out that is so absolutely stupid and bad that it loops back to being hilarious. We feel a bit of our soul dying as we enjoy watching the worst humanity has to offer, but we can’t just stop.

This video, by Filipino boy band 1:43, is one of those things.

Joining me in this review, where we analyze the video and reflect its implication in OPM’s future, is Comicgasm co-editor and, well, owner (he just lets me write shit for free), RJ.

RJ: Dude, 90% of the internet is porn. Why aren’t we talking about porn? We should talk about porn. Oh yeah, before we start embarrassing ourselves, I would like to say that I was FORCED into doing this! :E Why would you even do this, Ade? WHY? D:

Ade: A few hours ago I caught myself humming the chorus of that song as I was walking home. And I was bobbing my head to it. I didn’t want to be the only one with that horrible song in my head, so I looked for someone to share the pain with, RJ. And you’re a funny writer.

RJ: You’re just taking advantage of my kind-hearted demeanor. And maybe this is your way of taking revenge for all those times I sent you pics of hot women with penises.

Ade: Actually, you’re just my most gullible friend. Ok, review? Write for free?

RJ: 2 handjobs or no deal.

Ade: K.(...)

Click here to read the rest of ‘Merry Christmas Na’ by 1:43, Review (1,099 words)

Inner Child Therapy: Life and Other Aimless Stuff

Ade — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 06:00:28 +0000

Hello readers! Yes, the both of you. I know I haven’t been able to update as much as I wanted, but I’ve been so busy lately that when I have to update this blog, I draw blanks left and right. And I’m forced to write unfunny filler posts. You guys don’t deserve filler posts, you are such a wonderful bunch of readers, and it’s cheating if I just churn out another half-assed- what the hell, here’s another filler.

NOTE: This is a Sponsored Post

This is the part where I’m supposed to write a nice intro, but here’s some pretty text. You like text? Because I do. I really do. Look! Letters! Words! Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit! And here’s the sentence that’s supposed to transition this blog post into another conversation between me and my inner child, and here’s the abrupt shift, get ready for it!

Ade: Would you believe it? 2010′s almost over!
Inner Child: Oh I do, I do.
Ade: I can’t believe how quickly this year went.
Inner Child: I don’t know, man. I never really noticed.
Ade: How so?
Inner Child: There’s this little fact that you blogged about me only once this year.
Ade: I was busy, okay?
Inner Child: Fapping off to Maria Ozawa collection? Yes, you were.
Ade: What? No! I… I was busy working. You know, jobs? That thing that makes me earn money so I can stay financially secure and lets me eat at Mister Kebab as much as I want? Also, I’m over Maria Ozawa. Tina Yuzuki all the way!

Tina YuzHHHHNNNNNNGHHHH

Inner Child: The only jobs I know are the ones that start with blow. Hyuk-hyuk!
Ade: … that’s so mature, kid.
Inner Child: You may not have noticed this, Ade, but I am a kid.(...)

Click here to read the rest of Inner Child Therapy: Life and Other Aimless Stuff (453 words)

Down The Highway: An Advice Column for Emos 13

Ade — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 05:00:53 +0000

NOTE: This is a Sponsored Post

Dear DtH,

I’ve been single all my life. I seriously don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to catch the eye of every girl I meet since day one. I really don’t know where I’m going wrong, you see I’ve tried to be outgoing, mysterious, and charming, but it still doesn’t work. I also tried the sensitive artist approach, but somehow crying buckets seem to have scared the women away.

I heard the women like their guys emo, so I went off and got an emo hairdo. Also I slathered a ton of hair care products on my head. I now look like this:

So, ladies, any takers?

Lovingly yours,

~*~ xXx_eM0_bH0i_s@m21_xXx~*~

Dear ~*~ xXx_eM0_bH0i_s@m21_xXx~*~,

… Thanks for sharing your picture with us, I guess? Also, what the heck, “So, ladies, any takers?” When did DtH become a personals page?(...)

Click here to read the rest of Down The Highway: An Advice Column for Emos 13 (144 words)

Inner Child Therapy: New Year’s Resolutions 2010

Ade — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 05:37:13 +0000

INNER CHILD: So, Ade, what are your New Year’s resolutions for 2010?
ME: I dunno kid, I’m not really into making resolutions.
INNER CHILD: WHAT? You suck. Don’t be a fucking fornicating shit-eating faggot and try to improve yourself for the new decade!
ME: … that has got to be the most obscene stream of words I’ve ever heard coming out of your mouth.
INNER CHILD: Even more obscene than “horse-fucking twat sucking clit fucker shitface?” Because that’s what I think whenever I hear your name.
ME: …
INNER CHILD: In case you haven’t figured it out, it’s because I think you’re a horse-fucking twat sucking clit fucker shitface.
ME: …
INNER CHILD: So, make a new year’s resolution already, you asshole. Try to make your life suck less this 2010. I know you got a new laptop and all you wanna do is to tweak the shit out of it and kill zombies with plants, but come on, you’re better than that.(...)

Click here to read the rest of Inner Child Therapy: New Year’s Resolutions 2010 (507 words)

A Series of Questions Sent To Somebody’s Formspring During a Drunken Haze.

Ade — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:20:30 +0000

I was enjoying answering all those silly funny Formspring questions a random stranger would often throw my way, until one day I woke up with a massive hangover and no memory whatsoever of what happened the night before. All I know is that I was on my computer, happily drunk-typing the night away. I immediately opened up my browsing history, and what I saw scared the beejeebus out of me:

Dear Ashley,

Hi. Remember me? I’m Ade. Am I glad to find you here on Formspring! We met back in college. Remember the party that Lloyd threw? The one where Sheena ended up puking all over your dress? That’s the one I was talking about. I just want you to know that I spiked Sheena’s orange juice. Didn’t know she had a low alcohol tolerance. Sorry.

Also, yeah, I know I had whiskey dick that night, and you promised to call me back once we’re sober but you never did. What the heck is up with that?(...)

Click here to read the rest of A Series of Questions Sent To Somebody’s Formspring During a Drunken Haze. (430 words)

Ade’s Christmas Wish List 2009!

Ade — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 08:27:13 +0000

Oh lookee! It’s September, and it’s time to break out the Christmas decorations because Christmas is just around the corner! Okay, not really, because, you see, you can’t put Christmas in a corner because it’s a metaphysical thing we call a holiday, and we really can’t shoehorn holidays in corners and– yeah? Well, fuck you too.

Anyway, since I am about to go on a rampage the next time I hear Jose Mari Chan’s “Whenever I see girls and boys selling lanterns on the street” being played around me, I might as well use this early Christmas spirit to help me out of this writer’s block. And people are already putting up their wish lists, I might as well make mine to give you people enough time to save up and buy me these things! Right guys? Guys?

The Complete Remastered Beatles Catalog

I really want this. I’ve been a big Beatles fan for as long as I could remember, and my biggest complaint about their albums is that they sound too tinny.(...)

Click here to read the rest of Ade’s Christmas Wish List 2009! (284 words)

How to tell if your neighbors are zombies

Ade — Tue, 05 May 2009 08:12:38 +0000

This is a question nobody takes seriously: are your neighbors zombies? For all you know, you could be in the middle of a party, drinking your 7th beer while people are getting crazy on the karaoke, then you pass out. Five hours later, you wake up with your brains missing. Dang! One of your neighbors are zombies, and you don’t know who it is! See why you need to know who the humans and who the zombies are before it’s too late?

Check out these warning signs so you can differentiate between the living and the undead. The last thing we want is an unexpected brain salad. Your brains.

If your neighbors tend to walk around the neighborhood muttering “Brains” under their breath, they might be zombies.

You might think the thin guy next door is just taking his nightly leisure walk like he always does (midnight on the dot), but he’s just hunting for flesh to eat. Have you seen Mrs. Wilson’s dog after that one time thin guy took it on a midnight stroll? Thought so!(...)

Click here to read the rest of How to tell if your neighbors are zombies (404 words)

i LoVe Charice Pempengco LOL

Ade — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 05:03:30 +0000

I dont get it. Why sila super bilib na bilib kay Sarah Geronimo? Eh hinde naman sya marunong kumanta LOL.

(...)

Click here to read the rest of i LoVe Charice Pempengco LOL (56 words)

So, what did Superman sing to kill Darkseid?

Ade — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:58:45 +0000

In Final Crisis #7, the evil overlord of Apokilips, Darkseid, has become EVERYTHING. And Superman takes the damn god out with a SONG. Seriously. He fucking sings with all he’s got, and he fucking kills a fricking almost-immortal god with a song. Now, the awesometastic Dr. K is asking people to fill in the gaps in the narrative.

Exactly what song does Superman sing into the Miracle Machine to Save The World?

While Baddie has his own idea, this is what I think:

I believe that Superman is secretly a Bon Jovi fan and was waiting for the right moment to unleash all its fury on the evil god.

What do you think?

(Special bonus alternate universe panel)

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